Summertime. The sun is out and the streets are full of really stupid people driving cars with the windows down. Apparently a major pass-time for this crowd is to spot the big guy on the bicycle and yell incoherent taunts at him.
Some from recent rides:
"Use the trail!" This from a man who's truck I WAS PASSING because he was waiting in a turn lane six cars deep. So what, I use the trail and you get to wait in line for five more seconds? That's brilliant.
"Lose that weight!" This one from a car of teenaged girls careening down the road celebrating their grrlll power. I appreciated the encouragement, and the fact that they are bound to run someone over and become firm clients in the near future. If they live.
"WOOOOOO!" This is a perennial favorite, but I still haven't figured out exactly what it means. I believe it's either a mating call or a cry for help from driver who's brain has atrophied below the level required for language.
And then tonight there was a new one, a man in a car with a stereo blasting outdated rap who was yelling at me and gesturing. He grew increasingly agitated but never seemed to realize his stereo was way too loud for anyone to hear him. Maybe he's lost his hearing.
I am daily reminded of the ancient kernel of wisdom from Miller in Repo Man: "The more you drive, the less intelligent you are."
What have you been hearing from the herd animals lately?