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  1. #1
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    I live in fear....

    Those who have been here for any length of time will know what I'm talking about. It always happens at this time of year -- I shall refer to it only as the "M" word for now. This year so far it has been strangely quiet (by this time last year they had been into me for three weeks already), but I know it won't be far off. I know they're lurking out there -- waiting to swoop on my head, ears, neck, whatever else they can grab. I'm awaiting that fatalistic screech, knowing what's coming

    I had been hoping to say nothing, but Ron H blew my cover in the other thread. Now I am awaiting the inevitable punishment that goes with springtime in Australia. Surely it's only a matter of time...






    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
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  2. #2
    BikeForums Founder Joe Gardner's Avatar
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    uh oh!


  3. #3
    Senior Member KevinmH9's Avatar
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    Please elaborate, what is this "M" word, haven't been around long enough to know anyone well.

  4. #4
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KevinmH9
    Please elaborate, what is this "M" word, haven't been around long enough to know anyone well.
    See last year's thread:

    Annual magpie season in Australia thread
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
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  5. #5
    Rider in the Storm
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    Blame Hitchcock -- that's probably those critters' inspiration.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Wow, for a minute there I though "M" stood for marmoset, now those are some serious liabilities to your health.

    All kidding aside, I am glad we don't have those problems here.

  7. #7
    Forum Admin lotek's Avatar
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    Chris,

    Someone suggested (don't remember where) placing "eyes" on your
    helmet, to scare off the offending "M"s.
    Decals?
    can't hurt to try, anythings got to be better than living in fear!


    Marty
    Sono pi lento di quel che sembra.
    Odio la gente, tutti.

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  8. #8
    The Cycling Photographer SipperPhoto's Avatar
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    Uh oh.. the M word...

    The name that shall not be mentioned !

    Good luck this year Chris... maybe it's just and off year

    jeff
    Jeff

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  9. #9
    Senior Member Tom Pedale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris L
    Those who have been here for any length of time will know what I'm talking about. It always happens at this time of year -- I shall refer to it only as the "M" word for now. This year so far it has been strangely quiet (by this time last year they had been into me for three weeks already), but I know it won't be far off. I know they're lurking out there -- waiting to swoop on my head, ears, neck, whatever else they can grab. I'm awaiting that fatalistic screech, knowing what's coming

    I had been hoping to say nothing, but Ron H blew my cover in the other thread. Now I am awaiting the inevitable punishment that goes with springtime in Australia. Surely it's only a matter of time...



    :eek


    Actually, I remember in the early 70's when I first started cycling as an adult on a lead-piped Schwinn Varsity that one of these feathered fiends repeatedly dove at my head as I was riding in Thousand Oaks, CA. My thought at the time was "Not only do I have to worry about land-based threats like cars or dogs, I've also got to track what might be coming out of the sky!"
    "Learn how to handle hot things. Keep your knives sharp. And above all, have a good time" - Julia Child

  10. #10
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MERTON
    did you ever get a properly colored helmet?
    Nope. that's why I'm living in fear.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
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  11. #11
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lotek
    Chris,

    Someone suggested (don't remember where) placing "eyes" on your
    helmet, to scare off the offending "M"s.
    Decals?
    can't hurt to try, anythings got to be better than living in fear!
    I've heard mixed feedback on that. Some say it works, others say it doesn't. Maybe it just works in some cases. :confused: Either way, I might give it a shot -- assuming they bother coming out this year.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    g'day,

    the colour of your helmet has nothing to do with it,(but I s'pose you already know that). We had one at a race last year that was particularly viscious!. normally they only come at you from behind, but this one was up for head on collisions!. Every lap during the race he 'got' another guy....blood & sunnies everywhere. I've seen the 'eyes' on the back of the helmet work before, but I 've also seen guys with them on get 'done' as well. Guess it depends on the bird. Ahh the joys of spring riding in Oz, the smell of freash flowers, the warmth in the air....the tell tale blood dripping down your face!,

    cheers,

    Hitchy

  13. #13
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    Hmm...tennis rackets might be a high seller this summer for use as a "cycling accessory"

  14. #14
    Marathon Cyclist MediaCreations's Avatar
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    Hey Hitchy - Did you get the video camera rolling so you could send a tape to Australia's Funniest Home Videos? They love to see people in pain.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris L
    I've got a perfect solution, although it will take a little work.

    First, go out and buy a whole bunch of those shiny, metallic pipe cleaners that are sold in craft stores (at least they are in the U.S.A.). Get 'em about 18 inches long and make sure you get alot. While you're at the store buy some of that mylar reflective tape that people put up in their gardens to scare birds away.

    When you get home, take the mylar tape and tie little, tiny bows on the ends of each pipe cleaner and make sure you twist the pipe cleaners to keep the bows on tight. Do about a hundred of these.

    Now take the cleaners with the bows and loop them through all the vents of your helmet, so the cleaners are attached by the end without the bow and so that the bows are sticking out, suspended out and away from the helmet like fancy cat whiskers. Finish attaching the cleaners so that your helmet looks like half of a giant, shiny, sparkly dandelion seed-fluff-ball.

    Vi-O-LA! The "Ms" will only attack to the distance the bows are from your helmet! You will gain even more respect from the homophobic jerks in cars you encounter and you will be the IDOL of every little kid you pass.



    And DON'T forget to post a picture when your helmet protection is complete and you are ready to ride!


    I . . can . . . doooo . . . it

  16. #16
    My own worst nightmare
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    We had a problem last year with red-wing blackbirds ("cow-birds") attacking cyclists wearing a particular color of helmet (the cyclists, not the birds).

  17. #17
    RetroGrouchWrench Rural Roadie's Avatar
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    Time for the tennis racket strung with fine piano wire?

  18. #18
    Footballus vita est iamlucky13's Avatar
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    Merton! Don't say it out loud. Dangit, you could jinx all our Australian friends.

    I read about some California Condors attacking cyclists for a while. That would be scary! Those things are huge!
    "The internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that." ~ Strong Bad

  19. #19
    Friend of Jimmy K naisme's Avatar
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    I had the misfortune as a child to crawl into a pigeon coop, and not be able to get out, I spent an hour in the coop crying, with these dumb birds, before family found me.
    The only other experience with fowl was a white goose at some park, I think it was in the GO city. The bugger came up and took my cheese sandwich right out of my hands, I was 3 at the time.
    The big threat we have in MN at the moment is the growing population of Canadian Geese. These fowl are the only bird that I look at and can imagine Dinosaurs were Avian ancestors. They roam in herds their droppings are slippery, and they are nasty when you ride by them trying to make your way through them.

  20. #20
    Senior Member juciluci's Avatar
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    here i am thinking the dreaded word is Marriage.. silly me..

    thank goodness we only have a starling invasion with no fear here, as they are known for their littl' peckers.
    ..life... ya gotta ride it til the wheels fall off.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Pessi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madpogue
    We had a problem last year with red-wing blackbirds ("cow-birds") attacking cyclists wearing a particular color of helmet (the cyclists, not the birds).
    Red-wing blackbirds are not the same as Cowbirds. The first is a black bird with red epaulets, the second is a smaller black bird with a brown head.
    Je suis une ogre

  22. #22
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    I've got a perfect solution, although it will take a little work.

    First, go out and buy a whole bunch of those shiny, metallic pipe cleaners that are sold in craft stores (at least they are in the U.S.A.). Get 'em about 18 inches long and make sure you get alot. While you're at the store buy some of that mylar reflective tape that people put up in their gardens to scare birds away.

    When you get home, take the mylar tape and tie little, tiny bows on the ends of each pipe cleaner and make sure you twist the pipe cleaners to keep the bows on tight. Do about a hundred of these.

    Now take the cleaners with the bows and loop them through all the vents of your helmet, so the cleaners are attached by the end without the bow and so that the bows are sticking out, suspended out and away from the helmet like fancy cat whiskers. Finish attaching the cleaners so that your helmet looks like half of a giant, shiny, sparkly dandelion seed-fluff-ball.

    Vi-O-LA! The "Ms" will only attack to the distance the bows are from your helmet! You will gain even more respect from the homophobic jerks in cars you encounter and you will be the IDOL of every little kid you pass.



    And DON'T forget to post a picture when your helmet protection is complete and you are ready to ride!


    I'm gonna print this post out and show it to a couple of my friends. Maybe it's a nice project for next weekend.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  23. #23
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Roadie
    Time for the tennis racket strung with fine piano wire?
    I'm amazed anyone can remember that! That is actually an idea I'm keen to try out. Maybe I should visit the Tandem section to see if anyone's prepared to sit on the back with the tennis racket.

    Quote Originally Posted by juciluci
    here i am thinking the dreaded word is Marriage.. silly me..
    That is the dreaded word, kind of. However, it's not quite as likely as a magpie attack.

    Quote Originally Posted by juciluci
    thank goodness we only have a starling invasion with no fear here, as they are known for their littl' peckers.
    Those would be the homophobic jerks mentioned above then?
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  24. #24
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    Being dive-bombed by a freekin' black bird, while riding a bike, can be quite scary when you least expect it.

  25. #25
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    hit the brakes haha. Or just don't wear a helmet !

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