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Old 10-07-04, 11:22 PM   #1
giorgios
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If your bike could talk

If your bike could talk what would it say to you!? Mine would say "ride me, ride me fast and hard you 6'8" 210 pound athletic stud you!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-07-04, 11:30 PM   #2
forum*rider
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My bike would probably tell me to stop crashing
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Old 10-08-04, 12:06 AM   #3
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"wash me"
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Old 10-08-04, 12:07 AM   #4
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what would my bike say? thats easy.........
"get a job "
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Old 10-08-04, 01:27 AM   #5
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"Get the hell off of me you fat a$$ tub o' lard !!"
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Old 10-08-04, 01:30 AM   #6
HereNT
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Please don't do any more drunken bike repair on me!!!
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Old 10-08-04, 01:52 AM   #7
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Stop dumping me in the grass... that hurts...

Take off those dam keys that keep on scratching my top tube

Speed up... I am board

I hate that heavy thing on my back... if I have to wear it one more day I will...
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Old 10-08-04, 02:11 AM   #8
Chris L
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"Stay out of the rain!"
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Old 10-08-04, 02:43 AM   #9
NZLcyclist
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clean me! and i could use a bit of touch up paint.....oh and find me some sexy wheelsets like a disc and trispoke/Zipp
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Old 10-08-04, 05:29 AM   #10
Bokkie
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Stop farting, will ya!
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Old 10-08-04, 05:36 AM   #11
DanFromDetroit
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I really couldn't say. It speaks Chinese.

Probably advertisements.

Dan
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Old 10-08-04, 06:35 AM   #12
BenyBen
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Mine would probably tell me that I don't give it enuf attention.

It does talk to me sometimes when I'm @ work and it's sitting in my office. It also goes "Ride me, ride me hard"
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Old 10-08-04, 07:12 AM   #13
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"Why do you let the dog in the house but keep me in the garage? Where's the love?"
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Old 10-08-04, 08:18 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wfin2004
"Get the hell off of me you fat a$$ tub o' lard !!"
mine too
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Old 10-08-04, 08:27 AM   #15
Whoodie
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Mine would say "What's all the rush?"
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Old 10-08-04, 08:38 AM   #16
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It would say, Poululla you asked this question a year ago in the General forum.
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Old 10-08-04, 08:44 AM   #17
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here's a typical conversation i have with my bike when i get home from work:

me: damn today was busy. how are you?
bike: at least you were out of the house - i had to spend the last 9 hours in this little room staring at the window. why don't you take me to work?
me: i told you before! and i'll tell you again! my office is along a highway that is too dangerous to get to by riding you. and i don't have the energy to take you on the train everyday, it's just not worth it.
bike: you can be so cruel sometimes.
me: i'm sorry. how about i make it up to you with a quick 20 mile spin tonight?
bike: *blushes* i guess that'd be alright. only 20 though?
me: alright, we'll do three loops in the park, that should make the ride 26 miles. happy?
bike:
me: let's go then, i just have to change. stay here and i'll carry you down the stairs in 10 minutes.

Last edited by timmhaan; 10-08-04 at 10:56 AM.
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Old 10-08-04, 08:46 AM   #18
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Kona MTB: "God, I'm bored! Why won't someone ride me?"
Trek Road: "I am contacting the labor union, I can't remember the last time I had a day off"
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Old 10-08-04, 09:44 AM   #19
WorldWind
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Mine would say “park me next to that cute blue Ibas” and have an espresso with its rider.”
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Old 10-08-04, 10:21 AM   #20
caloso
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"Upgrade my powerplant."
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Old 10-08-04, 10:35 AM   #21
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"Get me some clothes! I'm NEKKID! And what's with only buying red parts?
Only tramps wear that much red!
And what's with the dirty thing?, you make every ride a filthy, dirty Wham! Bam!, thank-you ma'am...where is the romance?...the intamicy of a nice rubdown after a hot ride...WAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! You want me around, just to ride me..WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

"SHUTUP RITCHEY!, you complain like a chick! Sheeesh!"

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Old 10-08-04, 10:51 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanFromDetroit
I really couldn't say. It speaks Chinese.

Probably advertisements.

Dan
Yeah...mine speaks italian. I can only hope it's saying sexy things and not cursing me! Sometimes I try to coax her to go a little faster, but then she just spews something else in Italian and I think it must be something like, "well if you'd pedal harder I'd maybe move a little faster for ya". I need to learn how to speak Italian...if nothing else it would make me "bilingual" and that is just cool as heck. And it would facilitate bicycle conversation.
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Old 10-08-04, 11:38 AM   #23
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"So honestly...do I look fat with these tires? How about this saddle? Is it to big? Does this bar tape match my complexion? You don't pay enough attention to me. Seems like you love that ***** of a couch and her friend the TV a lot more than you love me! Remember, the less attention you pay to me and my fixed gear and the more likely I'll buck you off! Now let's go ride!"
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Old 10-08-04, 11:44 AM   #24
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"A little rain won't kill you, sissy!"

(something I've heard my whole life, and not just from bikes..)
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Old 10-08-04, 11:49 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cycleprincess
Yeah...mine speaks italian. I can only hope it's saying sexy things and not cursing me! Sometimes I try to coax her to go a little faster, but then she just spews something else in Italian and I think it must be something like, "well if you'd pedal harder I'd maybe move a little faster for ya". I need to learn how to speak Italian...if nothing else it would make me "bilingual" and that is just cool as heck. And it would facilitate bicycle conversation.
Whisper "Bellissimo". Should work.
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