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  1. #1
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    Which bike is best . . . for the zombie apocalypse?

    So I had this discussion with some friends at work, but none of them are avid cyclists, so I thought I would ask it here.

    The world as we know it has crumbled and the undead walk the streets. You have to live in this post-apocalyptic nightmare, which style of bike do you depend on to get you from here to there? Just imagine the landscape of any big scale zombie movie (anyone watch The Walking Dead on AMC or read the comic?), and throw in your two cents on what type of bicycle would be best for crossing that type of hostile urban/rural terrain.

    I'll wait for a few posts before I put my thoughts in.
    Last edited by Tarkin; 12-06-10 at 04:08 AM. Reason: typo

  2. #2
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    depends on the zombie & the setting.

    fast/smart zombie like in 28 days later, you want speed - light road bike
    slow/dumb but persistent zombie, you can go off the roads, so something like a cyclocross bike.

    either way - puncture resistant tires!

  3. #3
    Senior Member tizeye's Avatar
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    A black bike

  4. #4
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    screw a bike, gimme something big that drinks gas or diesel with a triple reinforcement brush guard and a couple rednecks with itchy trigger fingers in the back.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Monster Pete's Avatar
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    Something stable so you can steer with one hand while firing a handlebar-mounted shotgun/swinging a big axe over your head with the other.

  6. #6
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    A fat bike, no doubt, like a Wildfire Designs. Hook up a small gas motor for a little extra zoom for when things get a little too hairy, and a single-wheel trailer to haul your supplies (food/gas/ammo/batteries/solar panels).

    I'm the kind who'd seek to get outta the cities and set up a little piece of civilization out in the country. Not too far, because I'd like to make pillaging runs every so often, at least initially, but far enough out that I don't have to deal with the vain, power-hungry type survivors bent on creating empire.

    If I did have to tough it out in the city, probably a regular mountain bike (chain drive) if not a fatbike, just for the fast-break action. I dunno depends on zombie density. In any case, I'd probably holster a chainsaw off the front of the bars for those up-close-and-personal encounters.

    Chaad--'95 DeKerf Team SL, '02 Lemond Buenos Aires, '05 Novara Buzz, '73 Schwinn Collegiate, '06 Mountain Cycle Rumble, '09 Dahon Mariner D7, '12 Mercier Nano, '12 Breezer Venturi

  7. #7
    Senior Member BigDaddyPete's Avatar
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    Pugsley. Definitely a Pugsley. Of course, I want one regardless of zombie apocalypse.

  8. #8
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    Salsa Fargo. Has enough attachment points to mount things such as firearms if you're creative. Steel so it should last a long time. Would have to have solid rubber tires though. Puncture resistant wouldn't be enough.
    Demented internet tail wagging imbicile.

  9. #9
    Cycle Dallas MMACH 5's Avatar
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    One with a machine *** mounted on the handlebars and a grenade launcher off the rear.
    That's gonna leave a mark.

  10. #10
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    For just the apocalypse I would still ride my Rivendell Atlantis with some heavy touring tires like Schwalbe Marathon Plus 700x35. Reasonably fast on the road, but totally fine on trails, forest service roads, and any other surface you might need to take. The steel frame and tubular steel Nitto racks are repairable as well if they get damaged.

    But if there are zombies about I'm not sure I'd want to be on a bike unless they are the slow-moving type. In fact I would probably want to take to the water and live on a boat. I don't think zombies can swim or pilot a boat

  11. #11
    Old. Slow. Happy. MileHighMark's Avatar
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    I loves me some zombie apocalypse fiction.

    Slow zombies -- IGH, belt drive, heavily shielded tires
    Fast zombies -- Derailleur-geared, moderately shielded tires

    Dynamo-powered lights would be good, but I don't think I'd want to be out after dark in a ZA. Being able to carry supplies would probably be good, but I might want something a little more nimble/agile for quick recon work.
    GRAVELBIKE.COM - ride everything

  12. #12
    Senior Member cyclist2000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDaddyPete View Post
    Pugsley. Definitely a Pugsley. Of course, I want one regardless of zombie apocalypse.
    +100 absolutely a Pugsley. Squash some zombie butt with those 4" wide tires.
    I don't do vintage, I bought them new, rode them, kept them. Now they are just old bikes
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  13. #13
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Seems like Atomic Zombie's Overkill would be the only appropriate bike.

    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

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  14. #14
    2 Fat 2 Furious contango's Avatar
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    I'd want a full-suspension mountain bike for riding over the top of the remains of everything. Puncture resistant tyres to protect against sharp objects (and being chased by zombies is a Seriously Bad Time to realise you've got a flat and you left your last spare tube in the bunker). I'd opt for extra-wide handlebars so I could mount flame throwers to them, and perhaps keep a box of holy wafers and silver daggers mounted on the seatpost for easy accessibility.

  15. #15
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    A bicycle is the last thing I want if I want to high tail myself from any flesh eating thing. It's too slow to get up and going. too clumsy in a crowded area. Flesh exposed to disease carrying zombie nails.
    Give me a bad ass truck with lotsa ammo.
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  16. #16
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    in a zombie apocalypse, the available fuel would be long gone way before the last brains are eaten. I wouldn't want to be riding on a bike either, but if you "win" and stay alive for a measurable amount of time, a bike will probably be the only way to travel. Probably want a big dummy with the largest tires you can get in there. I'm not sure if a Pugsley is really necessary. Sure, if you somehow manage to live 10 years the roads would be gone and you would need big tires.

  17. #17
    Uber Goober StephenH's Avatar
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    Lessee..."crumbled"..."undead walk the streets"..."nightmare"...that sounds like downtown Dallas, so I think you'd want a fixie.
    "be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephenH View Post
    Lessee..."crumbled"..."undead walk the streets"..."nightmare"...that sounds like downtown Dallas, so I think you'd want a fixie.
    I was waiting for someone to say fixie. I figure the advantages with that are fewer moving parts to break, lighter and easier to carry when needed, and pretty nimble.

    +1 for the Pugsley, but if those tires do pop they will be hard to replace. I think I would stick with something that has a pretty common tire size. If I do bust a tire I want to be able to scavenge it out of any sports store or bike shop I roll by.

    I live in a pretty urban area so I will probably be speeding around jammed up streets. I think I would want my GT Traffic just because it's tough enough to take off road if I need to but speedy enough to make a good get-a-way when I hit an open road.

    I was also thinking about an internal gear hub but if it did break I definitely don't have the knowledge to fix it. A derailleur (spelling?) on the other hand I can fix. I don't know a ton about bikes but enough to fix mine.

    I like all the ideas, I think I will get some puncture resistant tires just to be on the safe side. You never know.

  19. #19
    Senior Member johnr783's Avatar
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    THERE IS ONLY ONE TYPE OF ZOMBIE. Nearly all the fast "zombies" aren't dead, it is a biological infection.

    I literally thought of this when I was touring. I thought I would use a Long Haul Trucker but I think I would go for the lighter yet just as strong Cross Check. Of course I would use 26's. In the event of too many flats you may have to be able to use those rubber inserts. Solid rubber tires would be awesome.

    Knobbies would be best. I know you sacrifice speed but you wouldnt have to worry about wear as much and you would be able to off road, something you would have to be able to do quite often.
    *All that was included in this comment was meant to be read with a light-hearted demeanor. If at any point I offended anyone or presented an idea that is contradictory to what they hold to be true please consider this post to be a joke. For the sake of keeping the post free of unnecessary clutter, please reconsider any "correction" to this comment you may or may not feel compelled to post.

  20. #20
    Powerful-Ugly Creature Greyryder's Avatar
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    Rigid single speed mountain bike. Damn near bulletproof, no derailleur to get caught on anything, and no suspension to wear out, or fail at the worst possible time. Just as competent on broken concrete and asphalt as it is off road.

    A BMX bike would good, for the same reasons, but it's not as fast. They tend to be geared for acceleration, rather than top speed. Fortunately, zombies don't move very fast. (fast zombies get classified with vampires that sparkle in the sunlight)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Burton
    When some wild eyed eight foot tall maniac grabs you by the throat and taps the back of your favorite head head against the barroom wall, and he looks crooked in the eye, and he ask you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

  21. #21
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    Mis-classification of Zombies is just so annoying. I guess some people were asleep during Undead 101 class.

  22. #22
    Stealing Spokes since 82' Fizzaly's Avatar
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    Im jumping on the big fat tires bandwagon, but also add a trailer to tow all your gear and ammo

  23. #23
    Senior Member mikeybikes's Avatar
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    A tandem - so the stoker can fire the weaponry while the captain steers.
    My Bikes: 2009 Breezer Uptown EX | 1980 Miyata Six Ten | 1970 Hercules Three-Two-Speed
    Wife's Bikes: 2008 Globe City 7 | 1972ish Peugeot UO-18 (in progress)

  24. #24
    Unobtanium-Based Lifeform calamarichris's Avatar
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    The best bike IMO would be this goofy motorcycle, because the zombies would probably think twice about approaching some necrophiliac who apparently likes taking the dead from behind.



  25. #25
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    A Hummer - or a Chieftan

    Failing that, bear in mind that with the breakdown of civilisation there woudl be no power and no heating in millions of houses/shops/ offices/warehouses/factories etc. Halfway thro' the first really cold spell (say, early December) all those pipes would freeze and burst and the streets would become icerinks as the water overflowed, so ice skates. Doubt if they could learn to skate unless they were copycat devotees of strictly ice dancing
    Last edited by atbman; 12-07-10 at 11:48 AM.

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