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  1. #1
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    Intended to go for a leisurely bike ride and killed a pregnant squirrel

    I had not been on a bike ride in more than a year. But today's weekend weather was so pleasant, my girlfriend suggested that we go on a short ride to the park for a late afternoon sandwich picnic. Sounded fun, so why not?

    So I pumped up the tires, packed the bags, grabbed the helmets, and off we went. Everything was great at first, aside from a bug flying straight onto my left eyeball and another into my mouth. But really, the temperature outside was perfect and it was nice to back out on a bike. When we left the bike lanes of the streets and got onto the paved trail that leads to the park, we pedaled slowly, as there were quite a few groups of walkers, also out to enjoy the warm spring atmosphere.

    Well, as I approached a wide bend, I had to veer left to pass a wall of five pedestrians (all walking side by side). After carefully passing them, I looked back and noticed that my girlfriend was a bit further behind, so I hesitated my pace to let her catch up. The mistake I made was not immediately getting back over to the right side of the path in front of the group of walkers.

    Within moments, another bicyclist (in biking gear) came tearing down the middle of the path. He was riding so fast, I didn't have time to anticipate him and move back to the right. He yelled to us, "On your right, on your left!". Again, he rode so fast, the following actions happened all simultaneously in seconds: 1) To get out of his way, I coasted my bike to the left edge of the path. 2) My girlfriend stayed on the right side and reached my parallel position because I had slowed down to keep out of the middle of the path and let him pass. 3) The bicyclist shot down the middle, right between us.

    As all of this happened, a grey ground squirrel looked up at me from a side bush, dashed in front of my bike (i hit my breaks), and ran directly into the path of the bicyclist and my girlfriend. This all occurred in fractions of a second and I could see the ground squirrel doing gymnastics as it tried to avoid both oncoming bikes. But it was too late. As I continued to roll forward, I immediately turned my head around and saw the poor squirrel jump into the air one last time and flip onto its back. My girlfriend had felt a bump under her rear tire and asked "Did I kill it?" The biker replied, "Probably!" and took off down the path. He had likely hit the squirrel too, but I couldn't see either hits in the blur of the wheels.

    We still continued on with our ride for the intended small picnic at the park. But the entire mood was sullen, so we just quickly ate our sandwiches without many words and left. On the return ride home, the squirrel was still lying there on its back with arms, legs, and tail sprawled. I had desperately hoped it was somehow still alive.

    My girlfriend blames me for the accident because if I had been on the right hand side of the path, the ground squirrel may not have been startled and bolted across. I certainly did not intentionly ride on the left hand side. But this was a path with many kids, dog walkers, and slow casual bicyclists. This is not a bike lane, but a multi-purpose path. I just happened to be on the left hand side at that moment to look back at her after I rode around the group of walkers. I was about to get back over to the right side until the racing bicyclist came zooming down the trail. This was supposed to be a leisurely jaunt to enjoy the recent sunshine...not to become an accomplice involved with innocent squirrel killings.

    My girlfriend went out to dinner and clubbing with her friends as soon as we got back from the ride. I stayed home tonight after she blamed me for the squirrel's death. A couple of hours later, I drove back near the pathway and walked over to the spot with a flashlight. The squirrel was still there and definitely not breathing. To make matters worse, I could see a swollen belly and prominent nipples, so I knew the squirrel must be a pregnant female. So I'm not just responsible for one squirrel's death, but the potential lives of several baby squirrels that will never come to be. Great Karma, huh?

    Amazingly, I could not find any signs of external injury, obvious broken bones in the limbs, or body flattening. So the cause of death must have been an internal bleed, a spinal cord injury, or perhaps both. I paid my respects and went home. Of course, I feel absolutely horrible about all of this, but I can't do a damn thing to change what happened. Now, why did I go biking again?

    Anyone here have a similar experience or a related story?
    Last edited by BikeRyder; 03-06-11 at 02:56 AM.

  2. #2
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    Your first post and your confessing to a murder? Geesh.....

  3. #3
    I'm Carbon Curious 531phile's Avatar
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    Get a new girlfriend. If it was a MUP and it has a speed limit, that speeding cyclist caused this to happen, not you.

    But deep inside in my ice-cold demonic heart, you did the world a favor by killing that squirrel. They are cute and all, but they have it coming. Everyone knows there's a small, but growing sect of radical squirrels that will commit suicide to defend their turf. Too many innocent cyclist have crashed and injured themselves because of those scum.

    Good job. You're OK in my book.
    Last edited by 531phile; 03-06-11 at 04:35 AM.

    Quote Originally Posted by avner View Post
    I loled. Twice. Then I cried. Then I rubbed one out and cried again, but thanks for sharing.

  4. #4
    Pants are for suckaz HandsomeRyan's Avatar
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    Get them before they get us.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikeRyder View Post
    ...

    My girlfriend went out to dinner and clubbing with her friends as soon as we got back from the ride.

    ...
    1. She's blaming YOU for a varmint running under her bike. What does she think you did? Used Jedi Squirrel Mind tricks to force that critter to kill itself?
    2. See above excerpt - yeah, she was SOOOOO upset...

    I gotta agree with the "get a new girlfriend" post.

    And since this thread WILL generate a lot of dead squirrel picture posts, I'll get the ball rolling.

    Show your soon-to-be-ex GF what happens to a squirrel that plays with electricity:



    Bet she had veal for dinner, too.

  6. #6
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    oh that's so sad! poor squirrel....I'm always worried I'll run over one of them. However, i don't agree get a new girlfriend. she's upset! just straighten that out with her and maybe she'll understand....however, if she really can't get over it and won't let it go, maybe consider just not seeing her for a while, maybe she'll cool off...
    i actually had a near miss a few years ago...i felt something hit my handlebars and looked down and saw this little, redbrown chipmunk running like mad into the bushes! it must have glanced off the bars but seemed to be ok. I was so freaked out! I hate the idea of hurting an animal, I was freaked out all the way home...waaah!

    and please no more dead squirrel pics, that's just grisly! what's next, photos of 9-11 dead bodies?
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  7. #7
    Senior Member travelmama's Avatar
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    This thread is crazy and makes no sense.
    Two Wheels One Love

  8. #8
    Galveston County Texas 10 Wheels's Avatar
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    Last edited by 10 Wheels; 03-06-11 at 09:26 AM.
    [SIZE=1][B]What I like about Texas[/B]
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGukLuXzH1E

    Set F1re To The Ra1n ( NY Night Rain Ride)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7jfcWEkSrI

  9. #9
    Ironwoman Velo Gator's Avatar
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    Welcome to BF.

  10. #10
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    Uh, yeah...welcome.

    You are, your GF ain't. She has NO F'N business blaming you for something you really didn't do. And if she can lay that kind of guilt on you, THEN go out clubbing with friends...that isn't someone you need in your life. Only those with a conscience feel guilt, and since she pretty quickly transferred hers to you, she'll squeeze your emotions like a sponge and walk away laughing someday.

    The SQUIRREL was a greater loss to your life than she would be.

  11. #11
    Senior Member CNY James's Avatar
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    is this serious?

    it's a squirrel. Also, commonly referred to as tree rats. +1 to doing the world a favor.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Flying Merkel's Avatar
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    Queue that awful "Circle of Life" song from Lion King.....................

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Merkel View Post
    Queue that awful "Circle of Life" song from Lion King.....................
    Would this be the "Circle of Death" then?



    I'm surprised that hasn't been posted already...

  14. #14
    Galveston County Texas 10 Wheels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by achoo View Post
    Would this be the "Circle of Death" then?



    I'm surprised that hasn't been posted already...

    About 1000 times...fake Photo
    [SIZE=1][B]What I like about Texas[/B]
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGukLuXzH1E

    Set F1re To The Ra1n ( NY Night Rain Ride)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7jfcWEkSrI

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10 Wheels View Post
    About 1000 times...fake Photo
    Well of course it's been posted thousands of times. Why do you think I was surprised it hadn't been posted yet?


  16. #16
    I'm Carbon Curious 531phile's Avatar
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    Oh oh and another thing OP, if you do decide to break it off with her, I'd suggest sleeping with a prostitute and contract a nasty STD of some sort(nothing too serious now, maybe just your run of the mill Herpes) and then pass it on to her as a good bye gift. Then she'll really have something to blame you for.

    Circle of Death.

    Problem Solved.

    Quote Originally Posted by avner View Post
    I loled. Twice. Then I cried. Then I rubbed one out and cried again, but thanks for sharing.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by 531phile View Post
    Get a new girlfriend. If it was a MUP and it has a speed limit, that speeding cyclist caused this to happen, not you.

    But deep inside in my ice-cold demonic heart, you did the world a favor by killing that squirrel. They are cute and all, but they have it coming. Everyone knows there's a small, but growing sect of radical squirrels that will commit suicide to defend their turf. Too many innocent cyclist have crashed and injured themselves because of those scum.

    Good job. You're OK in my book.

    Squirrels cannot be trusted!

    Several years ago.
    My wife and rode the SRT for several years without incident. Then one day we rode from Lower Perkiomen Valley Park down into center city Philly. Going through Fairmont Park near the Art Museum a squirrel darted across in front of the wife. She took a fairly good size chunk of hair out of it's tail. At first thinking nothing about it.
    Two weeks later we were on the trail after dark going from Betzwood to LPVP. I see her red tail light going from one side of the trail to the other. A groundhog was running back and forth between her wheels. Then a few weeks later there was the single bird about 60 feet in the air sitting on a wire near Norristown. The bird got the front of her white blouse. Then a few weeks later we were leaving Conshohocken heading towards Port Royal Road. A red shouldered hawk flew low over the trail and dropped a 2 and 1/2 foot long garden snake. Missing her by no more than a foot.
    We suspect that the Fairmont Park squirrel had put out a contract on her.

    From no contact with critters along the trail to the list above after having injured the squirrel's tail.

  18. #18
    I'm Carbon Curious 531phile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whiteknight View Post
    Squirrels cannot be trusted!

    Several years ago.
    My wife and rode the SRT for several years without incident. Then one day we rode from Lower Perkiomen Valley Park down into center city Philly. Going through Fairmont Park near the Art Museum a squirrel darted across in front of the wife. She took a fairly good size chunk of hair out of it's tail. At first thinking nothing about it.
    Two weeks later we were on the trail after dark going from Betzwood to LPVP. I see her red tail light going from one side of the trail to the other. A groundhog was running back and forth between her wheels. Then a few weeks later there was the single bird about 60 feet in the air sitting on a wire near Norristown. The bird got the front of her white blouse. Then a few weeks later we were leaving Conshohocken heading towards Port Royal Road. A red shouldered hawk flew low over the trail and dropped a 2 and 1/2 foot long garden snake. Missing her by no more than a foot.
    We suspect that the Fairmont Park squirrel had put out a contract on her.

    From no contact with critters along the trail to the list above after having injured the squirrel's tail.
    This reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Lisa Simpson goes out to enjoy day out in nature, but she gets harassed by the forest critters.

    Quote Originally Posted by avner View Post
    I loled. Twice. Then I cried. Then I rubbed one out and cried again, but thanks for sharing.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by 531phile View Post
    This reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Lisa Simpson goes out to enjoy day out in nature, but she gets harassed by the forest critters.
    Then not long after that we rode the local Thun Trail out of Reading down into Pottstown. On the way back there was a large copperhead snake stretched across the trail blocking one of the two opens between bollards at a road crossing. Had her stop well back when I spotted it. Chased it off the trail with a squirt of ice cold drink. Sent it crawling back into the bog along the trail. Continued on our way. As we approached Reading we crossed over a high bridge over the river. Sitting on the bridge railing was a large Turkey Vulture. Did not fly away even though we were only 6 feet from it. It just watched us go past. Following us with its eyes. Now that really cranked the wife up. Of course I joked that it was smiling at her while *****ing the snake failed in its assigned duty. I joked that I would check the Internet for a Get Bev dot come web site set up by the squirrel from Philly who may have had mob connections and put out a contract on her with the other critters.

  20. #20
    Senior Member xizangstan's Avatar
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    Tell her you're very sorry you killed the poor, innocent little squirrel. You realize she will never forgive you. So, you can give her my name and phone number, assuring her that I have never killed a squirrel...
    Who is John Galt?

  21. #21
    Single-serving poster electrik's Avatar
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    A tragedy, but it was a squirrel. Good luck with the gf.

  22. #22
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    I went on a ride and got to my destination.

    True story.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  23. #23
    rebmeM roineS JanMM's Avatar
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    Is BikeRider's interesting first post fiction or nonfiction?
    RANS V3 (steel), RANS V-Rex, RANS Screamer

  24. #24
    Lula Mae = 15 lbs. bike_boy's Avatar
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    My SO: Laugh now bike_boy, for tomorrow you will pay !!
    Me: Ah, 20 seconds of glory; a lifetime of pain !!


    Quote Originally Posted by DropDeadFred View Post
    nobody wins anything thinking they're going to lose! (except the lottery)

  25. #25
    Grammar Cop Condorita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doohickie View Post
    I went on a ride and got to my destination.

    True story.
    Pics or it didn't happen!
    That which does not kill me has made a massive tactical blunder.
    Too often I would hear men boast of the miles covered that day, rarely of what they had seen. Louis L'Amour
    '07 Giant Cypress WSD "Radagast the Beige-and-Black" * '97 (?) Bianchi Premio "Orion" * '09 Trek Allant "The Black Pearl"

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