Holy CRAP! Einstein was wrong about that whole space time thing... I'm sorry your package is taking extra time to reach you, it must have taken a left instead of a right at the last wormhole, and instead of getting there two weeks ago, will be there next Monday.
But seriously, I was just on the phone with UPS for fifteen minutes trying to figure out what's up, but since France's office is closed, they could only go so far. The nice lady I spoke with said that the scans in France are "logical scans" which may or may not be physical scans, so your package probably never even went to France. I inquired as to why that would be a "logical scan" and the answer I received was along the lines of "A logical scan is a scan that may or may not be a physical scan." Well thank you Mr. Spock, but that doesn't seem logical at all to me.
So I am awaiting a call back from UPS to wrap this thing up for you. I apologize for the extended travel time Matthew, but rest assured your package will get to you! It might even smell like wine, cheese, and a fresh baguette. Thanks so much for your patience, have a great day!