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Old 10-17-11, 09:00 AM   #1
johnr783
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What I should have said vs the cyclist in me

Been meaning to share this for a while.

A few weeks ago I someone I knew came back in contact with me. We went out once or twice and she mentioned that she wanted to start riding. I ended up helping her find a nice used bike.

A few days later I rode to meet her at a local eatery and have a short ride afterward. Upon arriving she said, "I forgot to bring some shoes, I had to ride in my heels. Sexy, right?"

What I should have said was something to confirm her statement and continue flirting. I thought about it for a second and instead CHOSE to say, "Some think so." I went on to explain, that I knew it was an accident but in general I dont find riding in heels sexy because its quite impractical.

Never saw her after that. Oh well. Maybe another year from now.
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Old 10-17-11, 09:34 AM   #2
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Let me guess...you're an engineer.
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Old 10-17-11, 09:53 AM   #3
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I doubt that it was the "cyclist" in you. It is definitely something, but you don't have to be a cyclist to be one!
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Old 10-17-11, 10:04 AM   #4
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Maybe the Asperger's in you? This coming from the guy who is still kicking himself over the time many years ago in college Spanish before class one day the hot girl I'd been trying to get together with kept telling me how her neck was sore from aikido the night before and it needed some rubbing and all I could say was that she shouldn't rub it or give it heat but right now for the pull icing it was best. Even the (gay, not that it matters) TA who came in when I was saying that looked at me like I was an idiot. I actually made it all the way back to my dorm before I reallized how badly I'd blown it.
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Old 10-17-11, 10:18 AM   #5
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Why don't you call her and apologize for the asshat move, ask to try the bike riding thing again.
At least you can make amends, good excuse for another date.
That takes a little courage, and women tend to like a man that's a man.

As it stands, for you it's one day of 365.
For her, you are just a tool: full stop.

Then again, maybe she's just not that into you... please tell me you didn't wear lycra shorts...
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Old 10-17-11, 02:13 PM   #6
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:::facepalm:::

Funny how wee little regrets like that will linger through time. Oh those fumbling, bumbling, missed opportunities do stick with you...

BTW, skip the apology. Just call her for another cycling date and tell her you have a set of heels ready to "level the field" or something else silly, humorous, or defusing. Most important, lighten up and let her know through word and action that you actually DO have a playful sense of humor despite previous evidence to the contrary!

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Old 10-17-11, 06:56 PM   #7
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Let me guess...you're an engineer.
+1
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Old 10-17-11, 08:15 PM   #8
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I went on to explain, that I knew it was an accident but in general I dont find riding in heels sexy because its quite impractical.
As opposed to walking in heels...

:-)
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Old 10-17-11, 08:21 PM   #9
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Let me guess...you're an engineer.
Not an engineer but I met someone with a doctorate in engineering. I later found out he was quite impressed with my thinking process. Perhaps I should pursue another profession.

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I doubt that it was the "cyclist" in you. It is definitely something, but you don't have to be a cyclist to be one!
A friend of mine recently told me that I am an A*Hole with a smile.

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Maybe the Asperger's in you?
Funny story, thanks for sharing. No aspergers here though.

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Then again, maybe she's just not that into you... please tell me you didn't wear lycra shorts...
No lycra shorts but I was wearing lycra leg and arm sleeves. It keeps me from dealing with the hassle of carrying and applying sunscreen.

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Why would you come here to share that information?

Your problem is, you just don't know what to say to whom! - AND THAT'S BAD!!!
I chose to share this here because I thought it was an amusing story. If it brought a smile to even one person, Im satisfied.

I know what I should say and to whom but I CHOSE not to. See, I pride myself in my honesty. I could have lied for the "benefit" of getting another date with her but chose not to. Reason is if I told her I thought it was sexy and we went on another riding date, she may have worn heels again because "I thought it was sexy." No, instead I chose to tell the truth. I am not embarrassed, ashamed, or regretful of what I said.
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Old 10-17-11, 08:29 PM   #10
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BTW, skip the apology. Just call her for another cycling date and tell her you have a set of heels ready to "level the field" or something else silly, humorous, or defusing. Most important, lighten up and let her know through word and action that you actually DO have a playful sense of humor despite previous evidence to the contrary!
^^This.

I'm female (and an engineer, BTW) and I can tell you that women are rather forgiving of these kinds of things, especially if you can joke about it.
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Old 10-17-11, 08:36 PM   #11
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So what you're saying is, a newb rider wearing high heels dropped you on your first ride together?
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Old 10-17-11, 08:48 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by johnr783 View Post
Been meaning to share this for a while.

A few weeks ago I someone I knew came back in contact with me. We went out once or twice and she mentioned that she wanted to start riding. I ended up helping her find a nice used bike.

A few days later I rode to meet her at a local eatery and have a short ride afterward. Upon arriving she said, "I forgot to bring some shoes, I had to ride in my heels. Sexy, right?"

What I should have said was something to confirm her statement and continue flirting. I thought about it for a second and instead CHOSE to say, "Some think so." I went on to explain, that I knew it was an accident but in general I dont find riding in heels sexy because its quite impractical.

Never saw her after that. Oh well. Maybe another year from now.
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Old 10-17-11, 08:52 PM   #13
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I know what I should say and to whom but I CHOSE not to. See, I pride myself in my honesty. I could have lied for the "benefit" of getting another date with her but chose not to. Reason is if I told her I thought it was sexy and we went on another riding date, she may have worn heels again because "I thought it was sexy." No, instead I chose to tell the truth. I am not embarrassed, ashamed, or regretful of what I said.
Dude, have you not had much experience with women?
You are not under oath and Matlock isn't looking over your shoulder.

You are not lying and she isn't LITERALLY saying it's sexy- It's all about making the best of the situation. Which she was trying to do but her words were an airplane flying above your head.

Don't think about yourself or what you should say.
Above all, think about making her feel comfortable and make sure she is having a good time.

Lighten up and have fun.
Good luck on the next one and don't think so hard about it.
Everything isn't a test, just do your best to make sure she is having a good time! That always worked for me!
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Old 10-17-11, 08:53 PM   #14
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Maybe the girl was more cutting edge than you gave her credit for?

http://thelook.today.com/_news/2011/06/23/6812780-biking-in-heels-a-do-or-a-dont
http://www.hanneli.com/bike%C2%A0in%C2%A0heels/
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Old 10-17-11, 08:54 PM   #15
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mobile155,
the heels reminded me of a website called 'cycle chic' all heels and style.

johnr,
glad you didn't wear the spandex! you still got a shot!
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Old 10-17-11, 10:54 PM   #16
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So what you're saying is, a newb rider wearing high heels dropped you on your first ride together?
Oh man, I lol'ed at this.

I have had plenty of experience with women. I also apologized and showed her my light-hearted joking side. Again, I didnt want to lie. I dont think its sexy so said so. I got the hint.

Mobile> Saw those links. Didnt to anything but make me cringe.

What I didnt mention earlier. Last year she and I went on a date or two then she dropped me without an explanation. She then randomly sent me a text and we had a few more dates a few weeks ago. Again, she dropped me. Could be this situation or could not. She and I did text and joke a bit after the above anecdote happened, just never saw her again. Now I dont hear from her.
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Old 10-17-11, 11:02 PM   #17
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Very nice

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Old 10-17-11, 11:07 PM   #18
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. ..... Last year she and I went on a date or two then she dropped me without an explanation...... She then randomly sent me a text and we had a few more dates a few weeks ago. Again, she dropped me...... ........ just never saw her again. Now I dont hear from her.

Consider it a good omen to move on. A good long lasting relationship will often click on the first date. This is all too familiar, and leaves one constantly wondering and second guessing.
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Old 10-17-11, 11:43 PM   #19
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Quote:

I chose to share this here because I thought it was an amusing story. If it
brought a smile to even one person, Im satisfied.

I know what I should say and to whom but I CHOSE not to. See, I pride myself
in my honesty. I could have lied for the "benefit" of getting another date with
her but chose not to. Reason is if I told her I thought it was sexy and we went
on another riding date, she may have worn heels again because "I thought it was
sexy." No, instead I chose to tell the truth. I am not embarrassed, ashamed,
or regretful of what I said.

Hi there Johnr783!

You sound like a nice guy...

I'm sorry! I shouldn't have judged you so quickly. You know, sometimes things happen for a reason. It was most probably best that you two never really hit it off.

One time, I had a girl spring up on me, all of a sudden just like this girl did to you. As it turned out, she was pregnant and didn't want the boyfriend who dropped her, to be the father of her baby.

I smelled something fishy, and had a DNA test done one day when she ordered me to babysit "MY little girl", since she had to work. Well, needless to say, the little girl was not mine!

Move on and cut your losses, is what I say!...

- Slim

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Old 10-18-11, 03:47 AM   #20
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What I didnt mention earlier. Last year she and I went on a date or two then she dropped me without an explanation. She then randomly sent me a text and we had a few more dates a few weeks ago. Again, she dropped me. Could be this situation or could not. She and I did text and joke a bit after the above anecdote happened, just never saw her again. Now I dont hear from her.
I knew where this was going by about line three of the first post, and the above quote has just proven it.

Ok, so here's what's going on. She's seeing someone else, or probably some-several else. Let me guess, you "did the right thing" and paid for all the dates you and her had when she came back into your life and then she disappeared without explanation and you sat around for ages wondering what you did wrong. You're a place-filler, and nothing more. It wouldn't have mattered what you said to her about heels or anything else, because it was already done. She comes to you when she wants money and/or food and she's not seeing anyone else at the time willing to provide it. When one of the other guys steps up to the plate, she'll disappear again. Just move on.

This is why you never push the rewind button on relationships. In probably 99% of cases, there's a perfectly good reason it didn't work the first time around. The dignified thing to do is accept it and move on.
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Old 10-18-11, 03:51 AM   #21
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No lycra shorts but I was wearing lycra leg and arm sleeves. It keeps me from dealing with the hassle of carrying and applying sunscreen.

I know what I should say and to whom but I CHOSE not to. See, I pride myself in my honesty. I could have lied for the "benefit" of getting another date with her but chose not to. Reason is if I told her I thought it was sexy and we went on another riding date, she may have worn heels again because "I thought it was sexy." No, instead I chose to tell the truth. I am not embarrassed, ashamed, or regretful of what I said.
Speaking as a female cyclist ... you said what you should have said. Good for you.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with wearing cycling shorts. It's good to wear attire appropriate to the sport, especially if you're planning to do a long ride.
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Old 10-18-11, 07:08 AM   #22
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Old 10-18-11, 09:55 AM   #23
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Here ya go probably better than figuring it out by yourself or on a bike forum.

http://www.datingadviceforums.com/
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Old 10-18-11, 10:04 AM   #24
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Well someone needs to say it.




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Old 10-18-11, 10:17 AM   #25
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She's just trying to con you into buying her some new shoes. "Sweety, you can't ride in those, lemme take you out for some new athletic shoes", she get the new shoes, drops you then meets up with Sancho at 24 Hour Fitness for aerobic class.........and he's impressed with her new shoes.
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