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Old 01-03-05, 08:14 PM   #1
ch0mb0
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Sometimes I get to thinking on these long rides. Scary. Sometimes, I even get a flash of inspiration.




...If I had skills like that Professor guy on the Simpsons, I'd invent a few contraptions to help a rider out.
There's gotta be some things out there that we all (or at least some of us) could put to use - be it for performance, maintenance, or leisurely applications.

...Yesterday's idea was to invent a gadget that looks like one of those mini nostril-hair trimmers, only this thing sucks the snot right out of your nose instead! No more runny nose snot all over the place while climbing or descending a steep hill. No more fishing thru the pockets for scuzzy tissues, stopping to blow nose, or the occasionally disastrous "air hankie" maneuver...

Anyone else been in a "You know, a _________would really come in handy right about now" situation lately?
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Old 01-03-05, 10:27 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ch0mb0
...Yesterday's idea was to invent a gadget that looks like one of those mini nostril-hair trimmers, only this thing sucks the snot right out of your nose instead! No more runny nose snot all over the place while climbing or descending a steep hill. No more fishing thru the pockets for scuzzy tissues, stopping to blow nose, or the occasionally disastrous "air hankie" maneuver...

Anyone else been in a "You know, a _________would really come in handy right about now" situation lately?
Regarding paragraph 1: My sister has something like that for her 20-month old son. It's basically a rubber ball with a small cone sticking out of it, with a hole at the tip. Squeeze ball and hold, insert cone in to baby's nostril, release and remove. I'm not sure what they do with it afterwards. Maybe shoot boogers at each other? They call it the "snot sucker". Beautiful imagery, huh?

Regarding paragraph 2: "beer"
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Old 01-03-05, 11:40 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by HigherGround
Regarding paragraph 1: My sister has something like that for her 20-month old son. It's basically a rubber ball with a small cone sticking out of it, with a hole at the tip. Squeeze ball and hold, insert cone in to baby's nostril, release and remove. I'm not sure what they do with it afterwards. Maybe shoot boogers at each other? They call it the "snot sucker". Beautiful imagery, huh?

Regarding paragraph 2: "beer"
turkey baster?
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Old 01-03-05, 11:57 PM   #4
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I'd like to be able to pee with discretion while on a group ride. I'm not as bold as some who whip them out and pee while coasting.
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Old 01-04-05, 12:02 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by The Fixer
I'd like to be able to pee with discretion while on a group ride. I'm not as bold as some who whip them out and pee while coasting.
Hmmm you could always run a catheter tube down your seat stay.....
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Old 01-04-05, 01:34 AM   #6
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I had one earlier today, but I didn't think much of it, and now reading this thread has me trying to hard to remember what it was. Dang it.

(subscribes to the thread so he'll post when he remembers)

Oh, and not something that I'd use, but having a combo HRM and a wireless cycloputer would probably be nice for a lot of people. Built into a wrist-watch style unit, with wireless integration to a computer, so you could walk back in the door, press a button on the side, and download into your stat tracking program.

Better yet, make it a larger unit with a 2"x3"x1/4" display that fits on the top of your arm (horizontal so it's easier to glance at) that has a GPS built in! Press one button to display speed(s), one to display vitals, and one to display route. The tracking software would be hooked with a weather database to track wind speed/temp/humidity... So you'd be able to sort and average and say 'hmm, when I'm heading north into a 20mph headwind on this road, I make 3mph faster, and burn 300 more calories, plus my cadence is 5rpm higher. Strange, because I like this other route better...'

What more could a hardcore bike geek want?

I don't own a cycle computer, HRM, or GPS
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Old 01-04-05, 01:45 AM   #7
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I don't know if they've invented it or not, but I never hear anyone talking about them here, so here goes: I'd like to see a tiny GPS reciever that slips inside handlebars, seat tube, etcetera that you can activate in case your bike is stolen. I know they've got them for cars, and I've had so many bikes stolen, I'd love to show up at some P.O.S.'s house with a police escort to get my property back! If they do have this service for bikes, I would make it cheaper, 'cuz I bet someone's figured out a way to make it expensive!
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Old 01-04-05, 09:30 AM   #8
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The Lo-Jack GPS idea would be great. But I'm more of a revenge person.

I'd like to have a device that fits into a metallic seat post and connects to leads in the seat - when activated, it shocks the sh*t outta some bicycle thief's nuts. hell, maybe it can even have a remote control if you really wanna have fun with someone.
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Old 01-04-05, 10:47 AM   #9
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I use a heart rate monitor 'receiver only',to monitor the efforts of my fellow geeks.
Full wrap fenders, you know, like 350 degrees telescoping capabilities.
can.pat pend.
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Old 01-04-05, 10:49 AM   #10
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Could the 'TazerPost' be used on low to keep your bits warm?
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Old 01-06-05, 04:40 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baxtefer
turkey baster?
Hmmm, that may explain why the Thanksgiving turkey was a bit chewy last year...
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Old 01-07-05, 02:40 AM   #12
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Invention idea:
* Full bike rack but quick release so its easier to commute during the week and travel light on the weekend. Real rack, not a seatpost attached thing
* underseat bag that molds to the saddle/seatpost and therefore doesn't shift around.
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Old 01-07-05, 10:04 AM   #13
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Here's one issue that needs to be addressed with some sort of invention!

Wedgie removal while riding a fixed gear
  • Remaining seated and trying to shift one's behind around on the saddle hoping it comes loose doesn't work too well.
  • Getting off the saddle and wiggling around for a solution makes the drivers behind you think you're taunting them in some perverted manner..
  • Standing and picking without the benefit of coasting can be tough on these mean streets.
    My body involuntarily tried this the other night and I almost got thrown!

Should there be such a thing as wedgie-proof undergarments, or a saddle that's padded or shaped in such a way as to allow for hands-free wedgie removal...
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Old 01-07-05, 09:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ch0mb0
Here's one issue that needs to be addressed with some sort of invention!

Wedgie removal while riding a fixed gear
  • Remaining seated and trying to shift one's behind around on the saddle hoping it comes loose doesn't work too well.
  • Getting off the saddle and wiggling around for a solution makes the drivers behind you think you're taunting them in some perverted manner..
  • Standing and picking without the benefit of coasting can be tough on these mean streets.
    My body involuntarily tried this the other night and I almost got thrown!

Should there be such a thing as wedgie-proof undergarments, or a saddle that's padded or shaped in such a way as to allow for hands-free wedgie removal...


Tom
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Old 01-08-05, 12:44 AM   #15
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Not giving up my ideas online. Not until they're patented that is.
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Old 01-08-05, 04:33 PM   #16
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On the tazer-seat thread.. a friend used to use razor baldes as washers for mounting after-market stereos in his car (many years ago). When they'd get stolen he'd brag about the blood all over the seat. Probably could do similar booby-traps all over your bike that only you know about. I smile thinking about it -- but I don't think it's a very good idea.

I keep a notebook of ideas that has gotten pretty full over the years and I don't mind talking about them -- but several times others have run off with some ideas as their own. Oh well. Ideas are cheap. Producing and marketing products from them is the hard part.
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Old 01-08-05, 04:41 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiyn
Hmmm you could always run a catheter tube down your seat stay.....
Beter have a good fender
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Old 01-08-05, 04:47 PM   #18
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If you have an invention then it would be a good idea to keep it to yourselves. Once it is disclosed then you cant get a patent on it (apart from the US maybe) since an invention in order to be patentable must be new and inventive. ANY disclosure you make (online or even oral) can be used against you in a court of law.
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Old 01-08-05, 05:08 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by royalflash
If you have an invention then it would be a good idea to keep it to yourselves. Once it is disclosed then you cant get a patent on it (apart from the US maybe) since an invention in order to be patentable must be new and inventive. ANY disclosure you make (online or even oral) can be used against you in a court of law.
And on that note...

This is for entertainment purposes only. I do not take responsibility for some moron attempting to create this.

Anti-theft device for bicycles: The Reamer 9000 Deluxe


Thief sits on pressure plate; circuit is completed; propellant is ignited; projectile shot into the ass of would-be thief. Downside is the loss of a saddle, but I think it's worth it
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Old 01-08-05, 08:21 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fixer
I'd like to be able to pee with discretion while on a group ride. I'm not as bold as some who whip them out and pee while coasting.

do people really do that?
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Old 01-08-05, 09:56 PM   #21
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on a serious note... is it actually possible to get that gps thing somewhere? and one that could actually hold up to some serious bashing inside the frame, like in dirt jumping and dh? cause that would rock in my opinion, i'd would fork over a few bucks (depending on how expensive it is) to know that i have the power to track my bike down if some bastard takes it lol
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Old 01-08-05, 11:56 PM   #22
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I wish someone would invent a little push-button gizmo that cyclists could use to trigger traffic signals.

And a power meter for less than $100.

And standard (not custom) bikes designed for tall people.
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Old 01-09-05, 01:01 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mirona
Beter have a good fender
I said seatstay not seat tube. With it running down the seatstay there's no need for a fender. Unless you're the poor schmuck in second place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PanPanX
do people really do that?
Yes
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Old 01-09-05, 08:02 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiyn
I said seatstay not seat tube. With it running down the seatstay there's no need for a fender. Unless you're the poor schmuck in second place.
Ah, guess I read it wrong.
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Old 01-09-05, 01:16 PM   #25
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eww! wtf thats gross..
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