My roadbike commuting ideology: ride in such a manner that your actions are obvious and expected to the motorists around you, while obeying traffic regulations (had to throw that last part in there because cops love to ticket cyclists around here).
You would think that this would garner no objection from the motorist in a crowded city such as the one I live in, yet it seems sometimes you just cannot win them all. If I roll up on a an traffic laden 4-way stop, especially if it's busy or big enough for a dividing median, I do three things:
1) Make a slow approach in a manner that makes my intention to stop obvious
2) Make eye contact with any drivers that are also approaching the intersection or already stopped at it
3) Go, and go only, when it is my turn. Stop first, go first.
The thing is, people love to waive me through. This really isn't a big deal, except people out here in lovely CA practice the arts of "the shoulder is my passing lane" and "rolling is the same as stopping." What this means for me is that, if I let the motorist (who at this point has the right-of-way but is waiving me through) yield to me, I run the risk of riding into a situation where the guy blowing past the person waiving me through does not see me coming, and rolls into me. Not good. So, I plant my foot on the ground and indicate to the person that they need to go. This really upsets some people though, sometimes to the point that they play the "I'm not going until you go" game, which complicates a busy intersection in a hurry...and confused motorists at a 4-way is not something you want to ride into. If everyone would just stick to the rules - first come, first go - then everything would be much easier.
Interestingly, the folks of Santa Barbara seem to exhibit a phenomenon that I term "stopping in a thru-way to let the bike pass." The only problem with this is that it happened when I was stopped at a stop sign, whereas the motorist had no stop sign.
Sometimes you wonder if, much like Schrodinger's cat, once you mount up to ride you set in course a universe in which drivers are more confused and less apt to just stick to the rules. Then again, I'm sure that I am unknowingly the confused patron to some poor frustrated fellow in a number of other circumstances throughout the day.