Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

General Cycling Discussion Have a cycling related question or comment that doesn't fit in one of the other specialty forums? Drop on in and post in here! When possible, please select the forum above that most fits your post!

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-22-12, 08:09 PM   #1
Nitram612
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Nitram612's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minneapolis MN
Bikes:
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Friend who won't listen

I have a friend who got bit hard by the cycling bug this year, much to my surprise. I wholeheartedly support his new hobby/lifestyle change but he refuses to take any of my advice when it comes to spending money. I advised him not to buy a Walmart bike but he did so anyway and ended up realizing he made a mistake after trying a friend's real bike out. Now he has a better bike but won't let me help him with the most basic repairs. I offer to do it for him for free (because it's fun for me) and give him replacement parts from my collection but he insists on going to a bike shop for simple things. I won't pretend I never spent too much money at the bike shop in my more ignorant days, but I feel like I have come a long way in being a competent mechanic and resourceful at finding free or low cost replacement parts. I know there are plenty of honest bike shop employees who won't exploit people who don't know any better, but I also know people like him are the bread and butter of any bike shop and most will try to sell him something every step of the way. I don't want to start a debate on the value of local bike shops and the convenience/cost trade-off that most people are happy to live with, but one of the main reasons I enjoy cycling is that most people's repair needs can be met very cheaply outside of the retail establishment. How do I convince someone who doesn't know any better that he doesn't need to spend so much money on very simple repairs?
Nitram612 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:29 PM   #2
flippinsweet
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Magna, Utah
Bikes:
Posts: 37
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't waste your time.
flippinsweet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:35 PM   #3
Thirstyman
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New York metro area
Bikes:
Posts: 458
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
can lead a horse to water ...
Thirstyman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:37 PM   #4
TomCat_Ford
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Bikes:
Posts: 353
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I agree with flippin, I wouldn't bother trying. Some people just have different outlooks on how to get things done, and they're probably not going to be changing those outlooks anytime soon.
TomCat_Ford is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:37 PM   #5
shelbyfv
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Bikes:
Posts: 2,848
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 134 Post(s)
Yes, he obviously doesn't want your help.
shelbyfv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:38 PM   #6
kamalster
Senior Member
 
kamalster's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Toronto
Bikes: Limongi custom road; GT Avalanche 1.0
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Enjoy riding with him, but everyone's going to pursue the hobby in their own way.
kamalster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:43 PM   #7
DX-MAN
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Bikes:
Posts: 4,789
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I would personally consider any 'friend' who rejected my help and input so wholly, disposable. But then, I'm a wrench, too....
DX-MAN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:45 PM   #8
catmandew52
Senior Member
 
catmandew52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: S. E. Michigan
Bikes:
Posts: 517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
"The art of giving advice to best friends is to make them believe that they thought of it themselves."
catmandew52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:56 PM   #9
Nitram612
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Nitram612's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minneapolis MN
Bikes:
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah I kind of suspect that no matter how hard I try my words are falling on deaf ears. He also wants to buy a full carbon bike after going to a couple races with a different friend of his even though a racing bike is in no way suitable for his commuting/recreational needs.
Nitram612 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:58 PM   #10
rebel1916
Senior Member
 
rebel1916's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Bikes:
Posts: 2,992
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You kinda sound like a busybody. Let him enjoy himself. Who the hell are you to declare what's suitable for him?
rebel1916 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 08:59 PM   #11
Mondo734
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Denver, CO
Bikes: 2012 Specialized Crux, Schwinn Mesa
Posts: 583
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by catmandew52 View Post
"The art of giving advice to best friends is to make them believe that they thought of it themselves."
Since you have already tried the normal approach of advising this^^ is the only other viable option. Should that fail then you must just accept that your friend is going to do things his way.
Mondo734 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 09:03 PM   #12
Nitram612
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Nitram612's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minneapolis MN
Bikes:
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I understand it's his money to do with what he pleases but this guy has a history of making poor financial decisions in other aspects of his life and I'm just trying to save a friend from himself.
Nitram612 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 10:26 PM   #13
Flying Merkel
Senior Member
 
Flying Merkel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Costa Mesa CA
Bikes:
Posts: 2,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Some days you educate, other days you accommodate. Relax.
Flying Merkel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-12, 10:31 PM   #14
Wolfvegas
Senior Member
 
Wolfvegas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Nova Scotia, CANADA
Bikes: CCM 21 speed big box special.....
Posts: 237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah let him do what he wants, mind your own business and just ride.
Wolfvegas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 06:07 AM   #15
jolly_ross
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Bikes:
Posts: 621
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel1916 View Post
You kinda sound like a busybody. Let him enjoy himself. Who the hell are you to declare what's suitable for him?
+1

Leave him be.

If you want to have blazing arguments about people who do things differently to you then join in a helmet thread. Or better yet, chainlube.

(Me - I only ever wear drylube on my head. Anyone who does different is a fool)
jolly_ross is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 06:24 AM   #16
doctor j
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Central Louisiana
Bikes:
Posts: 2,892
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
From Will Rogers...

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
doctor j is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 06:34 AM   #17
Garfield Cat
Senior Member
 
Garfield Cat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
Bikes: Cervelo Prodigy
Posts: 6,065
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 60 Post(s)
If I bought a replacement bike, a brand new bike that's much better than the old one, it might just be under some kind of warranty and the bike shop might just do stuff to get it going right. Then after a year or so, the reality sets in and the short term warranty runs out. Small adjustments will need to be made so the shifting works better as the cables start to stretch.

When you ride with him, you can discuss bikes and repairs but don't speak about how much money you can save. Stay focused on the maintenance issue and the various solutions. And don't knock bike shops and how much they charge compared to what you can do it for. That part may be the thing he doesn't like to hear.
Garfield Cat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 06:58 AM   #18
contango 
2 Fat 2 Furious
 
contango's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: England
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Rockhopper Comp Disc, 2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
Posts: 3,998
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nitram612 View Post
I have a friend who got bit hard by the cycling bug this year, much to my surprise. I wholeheartedly support his new hobby/lifestyle change but he refuses to take any of my advice when it comes to spending money. I advised him not to buy a Walmart bike but he did so anyway and ended up realizing he made a mistake after trying a friend's real bike out. Now he has a better bike but won't let me help him with the most basic repairs. I offer to do it for him for free (because it's fun for me) and give him replacement parts from my collection but he insists on going to a bike shop for simple things. I won't pretend I never spent too much money at the bike shop in my more ignorant days, but I feel like I have come a long way in being a competent mechanic and resourceful at finding free or low cost replacement parts. I know there are plenty of honest bike shop employees who won't exploit people who don't know any better, but I also know people like him are the bread and butter of any bike shop and most will try to sell him something every step of the way. I don't want to start a debate on the value of local bike shops and the convenience/cost trade-off that most people are happy to live with, but one of the main reasons I enjoy cycling is that most people's repair needs can be met very cheaply outside of the retail establishment. How do I convince someone who doesn't know any better that he doesn't need to spend so much money on very simple repairs?
Why is this your problem?

Seriously, you've made an offer, the offer has been declined, so let it go.

If nothing else he might be thinking about the warranty on his bike. When my bike was within its warranty period absolutely anything it needed went straight to the LBS, I didn't even want to twiddle with it. Now it's out of warranty I'm more inclined to fiddle with it myself.

Whatever his reasoning, it's his bike and his money so if he'd rather pay someone to fix it than have you fix it for free that's his choice to make.
__________________
"For a list of ways technology has failed to improve quality of life, press three"
contango is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 06:59 AM   #19
contango 
2 Fat 2 Furious
 
contango's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: England
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Rockhopper Comp Disc, 2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
Posts: 3,998
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jolly_ross View Post
+1

Leave him be.

If you want to have blazing arguments about people who do things differently to you then join in a helmet thread. Or better yet, chainlube.

(Me - I only ever wear drylube on my head. Anyone who does different is a fool)
I find threading the chain through the gaps in my helmet is tricky. Not only that but it makes a nasty rattling sound, and I think parts of the helmet bounce against the ground when I ride. Should I be using a different type of helmet?
__________________
"For a list of ways technology has failed to improve quality of life, press three"
contango is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 08:11 AM   #20
bkaapcke
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 3,227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
You should see how much free legal advice gets ignored. Almost always. Even the tightwads don't listen. So, get over it and move on. bk
bkaapcke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 08:50 AM   #21
tagaproject6
Goodbye Leeroy Jenkins
 
tagaproject6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Bikes: Wilier Izoard XP (Campagnolo Record);Cinelli Xperience (SRAM Force);Specialized Allez (SRAM Rival);Bianchi Via Nirone 7 (Campagnolo Centaur)
Posts: 7,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"You can't save everyone" is advice that is not heeded by one who is commited to try saving everyone!

Keep trying to save your friend, don't give up. Make it your sole purpose in life to save this fool, it is your destiny!
tagaproject6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 08:50 AM   #22
RGNY
Senior Member
 
RGNY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Utica,NY,USA
Bikes:
Posts: 1,526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
been there. step back and watch the chaos.

you can't save anyone from themselves.
RGNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 09:06 AM   #23
fietsbob 
coprolite
 
fietsbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NW,Oregon Coast
Bikes: 7
Posts: 20,393
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 643 Post(s)
.... what? I wasn't paying attention

hope they learn something new, each shop visit..
fietsbob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 09:07 AM   #24
Retro Grouch 
Senior Member
 
Retro Grouch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: St Peters, Missouri
Bikes: Rans Rockst (Retro rocket) Rans Enduro Sport (Retro racket) Catrike 559, Merin Bear Valley (beater bike).
Posts: 26,736
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 140 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nitram612 View Post
How do I convince someone who doesn't know any better?
I'm thinking you don't have any kids.
Retro Grouch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-12, 09:10 AM   #25
10 Wheels
Galveston County Texas
 
10 Wheels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: In The Wind
Bikes: 2010 Expedition, 03 GTO
Posts: 29,894
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 303 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel1916 View Post
You kinda sound like a busybody. Let him enjoy himself. Who the hell are you to declare what's suitable for him?
^^^^ Hits Nail on The Head...
__________________
[SIZE=1][B]What I like about Texas[/B]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGukLuXzH1E

Set F1re To The Ra1n ( NY Night Rain Ride)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7jfcWEkSrI
10 Wheels is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:12 AM.