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  1. #1
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    I knew Wal-Mart bikes were poorly assembled, but..

    ..This takes the cake! This has to be a joke. Right?

    I was laughing so hard I could barely take these pictures! This is a $200 Mongoose single-speed, so it's supposed to be a step up from their typical BSOs.



  2. #2
    Spinning @ 33 RPM Glynis27's Avatar
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    It's built for kangaroos.
    1989 Fuji Saratoga
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    2008 Transition Vagrant SOLD!
    2010 Transition TransAM
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  3. #3
    Senior Member DieselDan's Avatar
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    Someone better leave dems cussamors alone and gets backs to werk.
    Bikes use brakes to stop.

    If your bike has breaks, don't ride it.

  4. #4
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    Wal-mart doesn't really "assemble" bikes as much as you think they might. ("Well, sure!" you're saying, but that's not what I meant)

    If you order a bicycle from them (such as, a cheapo for a cut-up donor, to build into something else) and choose not to have them assemble it for you--then when you go to pick it up at the store it is still packed inside the box, and you get to see what assembly there is to do.
    Usually it is two things:
    1--the handlebars+stem are taken out and zip-tied to the side of the front triangle/top tube. All the brake & shifter cables are already attached, and operational.
    2--the front wheel is not in the forks, and there is a plastic spacer keeping the fork blades apart.

    That's it.
    The wal-mart people generally don't do any other assembly or adjusting, and they're not supposed to need to. In most cases, they aren't even allowed to. They are not trained as bicycle mechanics, and aren't supposed to act like they are. Something like a flipped crank seems pretty darned obvious, but it's probable that they didn't have the tool on hand for removing a crank-arm.

    I don't defend wal-mart much, I tend to hold the view that most of what you find there is sub-standard merchandise.
    Sometimes substandard works well enough though, if the price is right enough.
    When it comes to the bicycles however, a factory in China is what did the assembly--proper or otherwise.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Homebrew01's Avatar
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    They're supposed to be like that ! It's the latest "thing".
    Bikes: Old steel race bikes, old Cannondale race bikes, less old Cannondale race bike, crappy old mtn bike

  6. #6
    Goodbye Leeroy Jenkins tagaproject6's Avatar
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    Yup, a new hipster thang, you wouldn't understand
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    TOML

    _________________________________________________________________________

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  7. #7
    Senior Member DieselDan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug5150 View Post
    Wal-mart doesn't really "assemble" bikes as much as you think they might. ("Well, sure!" you're saying, but that's not what I meant)

    If you order a bicycle from them (such as, a cheapo for a cut-up donor, to build into something else) and choose not to have them assemble it for you--then when you go to pick it up at the store it is still packed inside the box, and you get to see what assembly there is to do.
    Usually it is two things:
    1--the handlebars+stem are taken out and zip-tied to the side of the front triangle/top tube. All the brake & shifter cables are already attached, and operational.
    2--the front wheel is not in the forks, and there is a plastic spacer keeping the fork blades apart.

    That's it.
    The wal-mart people generally don't do any other assembly or adjusting, and they're not supposed to need to. In most cases, they aren't even allowed to. They are not trained as bicycle mechanics, and aren't supposed to act like they are. Something like a flipped crank seems pretty darned obvious, but it's probable that they didn't have the tool on hand for removing a crank-arm.

    I don't defend wal-mart much, I tend to hold the view that most of what you find there is sub-standard merchandise.
    Sometimes substandard works well enough though, if the price is right enough.
    When it comes to the bicycles however, a factory in China is what did the assembly--proper or otherwise.
    Four things. You left out installing pedals and installing seatpost and saddle. I've assembled over 1000+ bikes and all but 2 were assembled as we've described. This includes almost every type of bike out there, save recumbents and 2 complete custom assemblies on high end road bike.

    I have noticed many big-box store bikes with self removing crankarms as of late. I just tell the person to take the bike back. The assembler never took the time to tighten crank arms.
    Bikes use brakes to stop.

    If your bike has breaks, don't ride it.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug5150 View Post
    Wal-mart doesn't really "assemble" bikes as much as you think they might. ("Well, sure!" you're saying, but that's not what I meant)

    If you order a bicycle from them (such as, a cheapo for a cut-up donor, to build into something else) and choose not to have them assemble it for you--then when you go to pick it up at the store it is still packed inside the box, and you get to see what assembly there is to do.
    Usually it is two things:
    1--the handlebars+stem are taken out and zip-tied to the side of the front triangle/top tube. All the brake & shifter cables are already attached, and operational.
    2--the front wheel is not in the forks, and there is a plastic spacer keeping the fork blades apart.

    That's it.
    The wal-mart people generally don't do any other assembly or adjusting, and they're not supposed to need to. In most cases, they aren't even allowed to. They are not trained as bicycle mechanics, and aren't supposed to act like they are. Something like a flipped crank seems pretty darned obvious, but it's probable that they didn't have the tool on hand for removing a crank-arm.

    I don't defend wal-mart much, I tend to hold the view that most of what you find there is sub-standard merchandise.
    Sometimes substandard works well enough though, if the price is right enough.
    When it comes to the bicycles however, a factory in China is what did the assembly--proper or otherwise.

    I agree those cranks were likely put on at the factory, but it is Walmart employees and Walmart management that put them out on the sales floor.
    Chinese contract manufacturers will put exactly the amount of effort into a product that you request... Walmart quoted them a price they would pay per4 bicycle and the company cut corners to make it happen. It is likely that the same manufacturer makes bikes with more respected names on the frame, but those likely go through more or tighter QC steps and as a result fewer ridiculous mistakes get through.

  9. #9
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Well, as it happens, I was looking at the Toys R Us job ads last week and saw the one for bicycle assembler.

    Pull the correct ticket item to be built from the storeroom racks. Read and follow Toys 'R' Us and manufacturer assembly instructions, and adhere to all safety regulations for merchandise sold assembled.

    Assemble a bicycle completely and properly in 15-25 minutes depending on bike. Safety test gears, brakes, rims for smooth operation.

    Understand basic guest and manager inquiries concerning bicycles and other products requiring assembly and respond appropriately.

    Perform routine maintenance on assembled items on the floor to keep them in sellable condition.

    Repair guest assemblies, based on visually detectable problems or from symptoms described by a manager or guest.
    Here's the whole ad. Bicycle Assembler at Toys R Us.
    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

    Quote Originally Posted by Bjforrestal View Post
    I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.

  10. #10
    Senior Member GrandaddyBiker's Avatar
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    Put toe clips on the pedals and ride it. You get double the power on the pedal down stroke.
    When I ride my destination is the ride itself. So I always get to where I am going.

  11. #11
    Senior Member wahoonc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artkansas View Post
    Well, as it happens, I was looking at the Toys R Us job ads last week and saw the one for bicycle assembler.



    Here's the whole ad. Bicycle Assembler at Toys R Us.
    Going to get a lot of adjustment and safety out of that 15-25 minute time frame...

    Aaron
    Webshots is bailing out, if you find any of my posts with corrupt picture files and want to see them corrected please let me know. :(

    ISO: A late 1980's Giant Iguana MTB frameset (or complete bike) 23" Red with yellow graphics.

    "Cycling should be a way of life, not a hobby.
    RIDE, YOU FOOL, RIDE!"
    _Nicodemus

    "Steel: nearly a thousand years of metallurgical development
    Aluminum: barely a hundred
    Which one would you rather have under your butt at 30mph?"
    _krazygluon

  12. #12
    Senior Member Aeolis's Avatar
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    They forgot to flip iit and slam it.
    Cannondale r1000 aero (caad4)
    2008 giant fcr

  13. #13
    alleged person Pobble.808's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarDasse74 View Post
    I agree those cranks were likely put on at the factory, but it is Walmart employees and Walmart management that put them out on the sales floor.
    Not only that. If the pedals were indeed installed in-house at Walmart...

  14. #14
    Senior Member Flying Merkel's Avatar
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    Here's the concept explained for you. Two foot bikes rool!

    https://sites.google.com/site/joefox...ts/twofootbike
    Pronounced "Murkle"

  15. #15
    Senior Member GrandaddyBiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Merkel View Post
    Here's the concept explained for you. Two foot bikes rool!

    https://sites.google.com/site/joefox...ts/twofootbike
    How, I Know I want for Christmas.
    When I ride my destination is the ride itself. So I always get to where I am going.

  16. #16
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    15 minutes? It takes me 15 minutes to check the alignment of one wheel on my bikes. I like it to be mm perfect so it usually takes a bit of time. 15 minutes for a complete bike is... dangerous.

  17. #17
    Senior Member IthaDan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Merkel View Post
    Here's the concept explained for you. Two foot bikes rool!

    https://sites.google.com/site/joefox...ts/twofootbike

    Shimano : Click :: Campy :: Snap :: SRAM : Bang

  18. #18
    Senior Member Looigi's Avatar
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    They did that to be "ironic".

  19. #19
    Senior Member IthaDan's Avatar
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    I love the new ways they're beating spam filters. Such informative posts!

    Shimano : Click :: Campy :: Snap :: SRAM : Bang

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by GrandaddyBiker View Post
    How, I Know I want for Christmas.
    Anyone who puts that much effort into coloring his technical drawings must be a great designer!

  21. #21
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    That is the exact type of bike X-Mart should be selling - simple, practical, it has a chain guard and kickstand... it's not a $200 downhill-bike-lookalike.

    The simplicity of the bike also makes improper assembly less likely... but they still managed to find a way

  22. #22
    Senior Member Nermal's Avatar
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    Maybe Wal-Mart is installing an eight hundred dollar set of Power Cranks?
    Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

  23. #23
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    More likely the bike was purchased, the cranks fell off the second time the owner rode it, he returned it to the store and they gave him a new bike... the crank was put back on the original bike and it was returned to the shelves... problem solved!

  24. #24
    Senior Member Flying Merkel's Avatar
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    My bike didn't come with a poem......

    The Two Foot Bike!
    The next technology leap
    Right here for all to peek
    Hydraulics's the name of the game
    Cause the power was breaking our chains
    No lost time in shifting,
    No frictions restricting,
    No chains that bind and fall,
    No gears to grind at all!
    It's fluid on pressure with power,
    Locomotive pistons devour
    at 60 miles an hour!

    To prove two legs on two foot are better than one for speed
    Let's examine why bikes are so slow
    they use only one leg don't you know,
    while the other just dangles unused!
    You're not happy, so sad, not amused,
    That your bikes have been running so slow
    using only one leg NOW you know!
    Why not stand from your sitting position?
    It's two legs you just used in your mission!
    What a shock, what a thrill, what a wonder,
    that TWO legs you've been using down under!
    Cause it's hard for one muscle to do,
    The huge weight that is best made for two!

    So the future belongs to the TWO FOOT.
    On the pump, use TWO LEGS!
    Now it jumps far ahead!
    For shocks hydraulics's the pride!
    Not one, not three, has FIVE!
    As smooth as silk the ride!
    For Shock absorbing bionics,
    Like music all five symphonic!
    The shocks on pivoting springs,
    with cat-like reactions they cling,
    To put full power to road.
    Disc Brakes can handle the load.
    Sit back on your seat and pump,
    with comfort for back and rump.

    Your throne of speed and freedom!
    It's rubber on handles go feel em!
    Release the brakes and pump!
    Your pupils dilate, heart thumps!
    It's sixty! here comes the jump!
    PTooooooo!
    At sixty you ARE A CHEETAH!
    GROWWLLLL!
    The TWO FOOT, versus one foot.
    Ahhduuh!
    3 TIMES FASTER!
    MORE POWER! TWO FOOT!
    Pronounced "Murkle"

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