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Old 01-27-05, 01:08 PM   #26
SpiderMike
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I bought used cruisers (his and hers deal) last Valentines. She has only had a chance to ride hers twice. Each time I was actually surprised at her pace. I just can't wait til December, that is when she hopefully graduates. Then she would be able to ride more. Then from there I... er we will be looking into upgrading her bike.
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Old 01-28-05, 07:26 AM   #27
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One thing to make certain that she's aware of when you two ride together is that she sets the pace. Let her know you'll ride as fast or as slow as she wants to go. There's nothing worse than having to console your crying spouse/girlfriend on the side of the road during an organized ride because she got it into her head that you weren't having fun because you weren't riding fast enough.
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Old 01-28-05, 09:21 AM   #28
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i agree with what everone is saying, but wouldn't it be nice to meet someone who didn't need to be treated like a timid little rabbit? someone you wouldn't have to worry about leaving you if you go above 15 mph. the way everyone is talking it sounds more like handling a delicate egg that will break if you don't use extreme care. i don't condone being a jerk or a showoff but i wonder how great this cycling relationship is going to be if it warrents so much concern.
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Old 01-28-05, 09:46 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timmhaan
i don't condone being a jerk or a showoff but i wonder how great this cycling relationship is going to be if it warrents so much concern.
uhh, it's not a cycling relationship... it's a romantic relationship that has some cycling involved. Romance requires nuturing, cycling doesn't.

PS: Ladies, if you're wondering, I am available I come house broken with my own bikes and I even know how to fold a fitted sheet!
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Old 01-28-05, 09:52 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timmhaan
i agree with what everone is saying, but wouldn't it be nice to meet someone who didn't need to be treated like a timid little rabbit? someone you wouldn't have to worry about leaving you if you go above 15 mph. the way everyone is talking it sounds more like handling a delicate egg that will break if you don't use extreme care. i don't condone being a jerk or a showoff but i wonder how great this cycling relationship is going to be if it warrents so much concern.
Looks like you're going to be single for a while
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Old 01-28-05, 09:58 AM   #31
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Generally, in biking and in life, don't be an a$$hole. I had one of those for a BF when I was racing, and he was never satisfied with how I rode, and I was not slow. Just don't be a jerk, and things should be fine.
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Old 01-28-05, 09:58 AM   #32
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Looks like you're going to be single for a while
no, i'm not single. it's just i get a little tired of reading about how delicate some of these women are. i prefer women that are more capable is all. a little drive, determination, and maybe a little competitive streak is what i like.
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Old 01-28-05, 10:08 AM   #33
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Ride the same way with her as you would ride anyone social ride. Dropping her would be rude, share the pulling, mix it up a bit and complement her when her speed does improve or just pretend it does. They enjoy compliments I've found out. Just have fun. With time her speed will improve and if doesn't? say la vie
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Old 01-28-05, 11:02 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timmhaan
i agree with what everone is saying, but wouldn't it be nice to meet someone who didn't need to be treated like a timid little rabbit? someone you wouldn't have to worry about leaving you if you go above 15 mph. the way everyone is talking it sounds more like handling a delicate egg that will break if you don't use extreme care. i don't condone being a jerk or a showoff but i wonder how great this cycling relationship is going to be if it warrents so much concern.
In my case, I don't have a "cycling relationship." I have a marriage with an incredibly strong woman. While she's not my equal on a bike, she certainly is in many other aspects, if not my superior. She's also my best friend and if I want to encourage her to enjoy one of my passions, I'll be smart to make it as enjoyable as possible for her.
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Old 01-28-05, 11:36 AM   #35
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One rule of thumb-- always buy an equal or better bike for the wife/gf than your own.

Two: don't go for a tandem right off, and realize that some wives/gfs really don't like tandem stoking (despite how some love it...).
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Old 01-28-05, 01:37 PM   #36
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My current girlfriend rides a bit, we're thinking about getting her a roadie this spring.

Kind of a funny story: In college I had a girlfriend who'd never ridden and I bought her a mountain bike, and threw her, the bike and some gear in the truck and drove straight to a favorite trail. It was a moderately steep but very beautiful single track up in one of the canyons. I could see she was struggling in the beginning, but I didn't want to badger her so I just rode on. I stopped about a half hour into the ride or so to wait for her (hey, this was 17 years ago - I'm smarter/more sensitive now!) and she just never showed up. I finally just rode back down, and she was still near the bottom, just STANDING on the pedals, with a sad-but-determined look on her face. First thing she said was "I'm just not strong enough" and burst into tears. I took a look at her bike and saw the problem - poor thing . . . I hadn't taught her to shift, and she was pushing the big ring! Felt like SUCH an ass (probably because I'd been one).
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Old 01-28-05, 01:40 PM   #37
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. . . don't go for a tandem right off, and realize that some wives/gfs really don't like tandem stoking (despite how some love it...).
Yeah, you need to talk about it firs . . . er, never mind.
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Old 01-28-05, 01:51 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timmhaan
no, i'm not single. it's just i get a little tired of reading about how delicate some of these women are. i prefer women that are more capable is all. a little drive, determination, and maybe a little competitive streak is what i like.
Now you're making me feel "delicate". My spouse is a triathelete, runs lots faster than me, trains more than me, and is absolutely more competitive than me. I *might* have a chance against her in a road race.
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Old 01-28-05, 02:44 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordOpie
...and I even know how to fold a fitted sheet!
Damn...you got me on that one.

On the serious note, my wife just started riding with me the last two weeks. She is riding on a borrowed hybrid to see if she likes it. I tried for a long time to get her to do it, but no luck. Then, one day she suggested we ride together with me pulling our four year old son on the trail-a-bike. It was cool!

Last time out, she got lucky enough to try another ladies road bike (a pretty nice Specialized Sequoia). When she got back, her face was flushed and she exclaimed "Wow, this thing is fast AND smooth!!!". Needless to say, we are seriously contemplating a roadie for her this summer. I couldn't be happier; now my son and wife like riding. Also, the extra weight from my son and the trail-a-bike definitely close the gap on our abilities.

By the way, she could probably smoke me in any other cardio related sport we could find, so it won't be too long before I am getting dropped...

RT
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Old 01-28-05, 02:46 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAAD5AL
Kind of a funny story: In college I had a girlfriend who'd never ridden and I bought her a mountain bike, and threw her, the bike and some gear in the truck and drove straight to a favorite trail. It was a moderately steep but very beautiful single track up in one of the canyons. I could see she was struggling in the beginning, but I didn't want to badger her so I just rode on. I stopped about a half hour into the ride or so to wait for her (hey, this was 17 years ago - I'm smarter/more sensitive now!) and she just never showed up. I finally just rode back down, and she was still near the bottom, just STANDING on the pedals, with a sad-but-determined look on her face. First thing she said was "I'm just not strong enough" and burst into tears. I took a look at her bike and saw the problem - poor thing . . . I hadn't taught her to shift, and she was pushing the big ring! Felt like SUCH an ass (probably because I'd been one).
Man, I don't know about you guys, but this story made me feel like an ass. I did something similar and now I'm losing my girl. Respect them while you have them guys. You'll never know how much you miss them until they're gone.
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Old 01-28-05, 03:53 PM   #41
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I bought my tandem before I met my wife… A bit presumptious maybe, but it worked! She rides occasionally, mostly multi use trails on the weekends, and the tandem allows us to stay together. Early in our relationship I bought her an $800 road bike that has an inch of dust and less than 100 miles. I’ve been considering putting a high rise stem and flat bar on it as she prefers her mountain bike (she actually uses this one) to her roadie, this would allow for an easier ride when we take individual bikes.

It took some convincing to get her on the tandem, then on our first ride her brother turned into us and we went down at 15mph. I got up and picked up my month old tandem, started checking it over… then realized that my new GF was still on the ground! She broke her hand and had it cast… She wouldn’t go out without her hair and make-up done… so I quickly learned how to do both! That was 16 years ago! The only other mishap was when I wanted to see how fast we could go down the hill. The cyclometer said 49mph when she shoved her thumb-nails into my @$$, she ripped my shorts and broke skin! I guess she was serious when she told me to slow down!

I have taken my kids to practice on the tandem and we have a tandem trail-a-bike so we can get 4 of us in-line on 3 wheels. My vote is for the tandem!
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Old 01-28-05, 03:56 PM   #42
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Quote:
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I have taken my kids to practice on the tandem and we have a tandem trail-a-bike so we can get 4 of us in-line on 3 wheels. My vote is for the tandem!
I bet that's a sight!
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Old 01-28-05, 03:57 PM   #43
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Bringing your wife/GF on a bike ride is like bringing ants to a picnic. Seriously, I don't mind riding with my wife and occasionally get to do so, but we always have kids in tow. But "my ride" is my ride and i prefer to do it alone.
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Old 01-28-05, 05:09 PM   #44
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I started riding last summer and my wife bought a road bike a few weeks after I did. I was (and still am) in a hurry to get in riding shape, so it was frustrating to both of us as I tried to encourage her to try a little harder. She is pretty laid back and I couldn't tell if she was being lazy or riding up to her ability at the time. As things evolved, she'd drive to the local bike trail and I 'd ride from home. She could ride as long as she wanted to and then bail out so I could finish the ride as long and as fast as I wanted (or could). We are also fortunate to have a good bike trail on which I can pick up the pace and ride out for a while and she is quite comfortable riding on her own.I became more patient with her pace and found that a 15-20 mile warm up with her made the back side of my 40-50 mile rides very pleasant as I could finish strong. I also found that if another friend rode with us , my wife's performance picked up appreciably and, as I found in kayaking, advice often comes easier from someone other than your SO. Fortunately, many of our boating friends also ride so we had a built-in community within the biking set. She really enjoys her bike and rides on her own if I'm not around and has coworkers with whom she is able to get in some lunch rides. Don't push and you guys can enjoy your rides and each other. Good luck. JB
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Old 01-28-05, 07:46 PM   #45
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When my non-biker wife tried to get into cycling, we got a tandem so we could ride together. It worked, instead of riding at her speed (about 7 mph) we could ride together. We started at 12 mph and had progressed to almost 16 mph by the time she decided it was too much like work and started making excuses to stay home. This year she's promised to start doing more rides with one of the other women in the club, so I suspect I'll be 'invited' for a few of them. No way would I turn down the chance; I'll just time my training so those rides are on recovery days.
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Old 01-29-05, 10:14 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trekkie820
My girlfriend bought a bike at the beginning of last summer. I can count one one hand how many miles it has on it now. At least I didn't buy it for her.
That's my fear. There's probably no reason for having it already, but... Fortunately she's getting a great deal on the bike she's buying. That says something to me right there - it's her investment and her responsibility to use it. Meanwhile I'm buying her some acccessories (pedals, helmet, water bottle, etc.), but that's a small investment.

As for all of the great advice I'm getting here - it's greatly appreciated! I've had a few things confirmed and been given more to think about. Our first ride actually wasn't bad at all and she was surprised at how quickly we covered 10 miles. She was really feeling it at the end, however. Anyway, my plan right now is to let her set the pace - I discovered how important that was last weekend when I had to keep slowing down to wait for her and she commented on it. It seems much better to be behind and either increase my cadence or coast a lot more where she can't see and I can shout encouragement/compliments.

As for someone alluding to it being frustrating treating significant others like "fragile eggs," I suppose it's true to some extent, but I learned early on that if you really want a relationship to succeed, it takes effort. Until she improves (or even if she doesn't), I'm really not opposed to the slower rides. She's still sharing one of my passions, we're both getting good exercise in the fresh air and enjoying each others' company...

LordOpie - you can fold fitted sheets??? I want a demonstration...

Snowy - I look forward to meeting you in person then. Opie and his friends are great fun to ride with (if you haven't been before)...
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Old 01-29-05, 10:30 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAAD5AL
My current girlfriend rides a bit, we're thinking about getting her a roadie this spring.

Kind of a funny story: In college I had a girlfriend who'd never ridden and I bought her a mountain bike, and threw her, the bike and some gear in the truck and drove straight to a favorite trail. It was a moderately steep but very beautiful single track up in one of the canyons. I could see she was struggling in the beginning, but I didn't want to badger her so I just rode on. I stopped about a half hour into the ride or so to wait for her (hey, this was 17 years ago - I'm smarter/more sensitive now!) and she just never showed up. I finally just rode back down, and she was still near the bottom, just STANDING on the pedals, with a sad-but-determined look on her face. First thing she said was "I'm just not strong enough" and burst into tears. I took a look at her bike and saw the problem - poor thing . . . I hadn't taught her to shift, and she was pushing the big ring! Felt like SUCH an ass (probably because I'd been one).
She should have just taken the truck and left you there. That's what I would have done.
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Old 01-29-05, 12:31 PM   #48
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Drop your griflriend at the next stoplight to show her how <i>uber</i> you are. Easy brownie points.
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Old 01-29-05, 01:03 PM   #49
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I ride with someone elses GF. Geez. I just don't think I am going to be any help .
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Old 01-29-05, 01:57 PM   #50
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I do ride with my G/F sometimes. We just don't get along when we ride. She seems to think she not good enough for me. Because She has hard time riding MTB trails. She always makes comments about me riding with April (A GOOD FRIEND THATS ALL)

Yes a good friend, That I have hung out with sense the first grade! Shes been one of my best Friends for 30+ years. I don't see a problem with that.

My G/F always gets jealous when I go riding with her or do anything else with her.

It does piss me off! 30 plus years and nothing has happened between us and both of us have are own life outside of riding.

Sorry for the RANT.
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