Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Jokes & Humor Life sucks without humor. Post your best (and worst) jokes here.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-23-16, 08:38 PM   #1
Ed.
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Ed.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hopkinton, MA
Bikes: 1938 Raleigh Record Ace (2), 1938 Schwinn Paramount, 1961 Torpado, 1964? Frejus, 1980 Raleigh 753 Team Pro, Moulton, other stuff...
Posts: 1,541
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
This is both classic and vintage, AND for males only. (ladies, no peaking!)

A man walks to the corner of Oxford Street and Regent Street in London during a downpour and somehow manages to get a taxi straight away. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says: "Perfect timing. You're just like Stevie"

"Who?" says the man.

"Stevie Jones. He was a guy who did everything right. Like my taxi being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have happened for Stevie."

"Well no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody," the man replies.

"Not Stevie," says cabbie. "He was a terrific athlete. He could have turned professional at golf or tennis and he danced like a West End star. He was handsome and sophisticated, more than George Clooney. He had a better body than Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime. He was something!"

"Somehow Stevie just new exactly how to make women happy," the cabbie continues.

"He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out."

"No wonder you remember him!" says the man.

"I never actually met Stevie," admits cabbie.

"Then how do you know so much about him?" asks the man.

"After he died I married his wife."
Ed. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-16, 09:36 PM   #2
eschlwc
Banned.
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: on the beach
Bikes: '73 falcon sr, '76 grand record, '84 davidson
Posts: 4,862
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 59 Post(s)
the passenger said, "i don't get it."
the cabbie said, "you don't get what?"
"the story. i don't get it. is it a joke?"
"no, it's not a joke. i was telling you about my wife's former husband."
the passenger asked, "was she, um, lying to you?"
"get out."
eschlwc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 03:11 AM   #3
Homebrew01
Super Moderator
 
Homebrew01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ffld Cnty Connecticut
Bikes: Old Steelies I made, Old Cannondales
Posts: 20,043
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 276 Post(s)
"ladies, no peaking" (sic)

She was peaking with Stevie
__________________
Bikes: Old steel race bikes, old Cannondale race bikes, less old Cannondale race bike, crappy old mtn bike
Homebrew01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 04:37 AM   #4
rhm
multimodal commuter
 
rhm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: NJ, NYC, LI
Bikes: 1940s Fothergill, 1959 Allegro Special, 1963? Claud Butler Olympic Sprint, Lambert 'Clubman', 1974 Fuji "the Ace", 1976 Holdsworth 650b conversion rando bike, 1983 Trek 720 tourer, 1984 Counterpoint Opus II, 1993 Basso Gap, 2010 Downtube 8h, and...
Posts: 16,136
Mentioned: 55 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 244 Post(s)
Stevie Jones died? I hadn't heard. Great guitarist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_b_PQvM1L4
__________________
New leather for old saddles.
rhm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 04:50 AM   #5
Velognome 
Get off my lawn!
 
Velognome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Garden State
Bikes: 1917 Loomis, 1923 Rudge, 1930 Hercules Renown, 1947 Mclean, 1948 JA Holland, 1955 Hetchins, 1957 Carlton Flyer, 1962 Raleigh Sport, 1978&81 Raleigh Gomp GS', 2010 Raliegh Clubman
Posts: 6,136
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
I bet Stevie didn't die from natural causes.
Velognome is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 04:59 AM   #6
rhm
multimodal commuter
 
rhm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: NJ, NYC, LI
Bikes: 1940s Fothergill, 1959 Allegro Special, 1963? Claud Butler Olympic Sprint, Lambert 'Clubman', 1974 Fuji "the Ace", 1976 Holdsworth 650b conversion rando bike, 1983 Trek 720 tourer, 1984 Counterpoint Opus II, 1993 Basso Gap, 2010 Downtube 8h, and...
Posts: 16,136
Mentioned: 55 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 244 Post(s)
You're right, actually. He's still living happily ever after in LA.
__________________
New leather for old saddles.
rhm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 06:13 AM   #7
eschlwc
Banned.
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: on the beach
Bikes: '73 falcon sr, '76 grand record, '84 davidson
Posts: 4,862
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 59 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homebrew01 View Post
no peaking" (sic)
classic.

or is that vintage?

i always forget which one grammatical innuendo is.
eschlwc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 06:17 AM   #8
NYMXer
Senior Member
 
NYMXer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Middletown NY
Bikes: Cannondale SuperSix EVO w Hi-Mod frame, Mercier Galaxy AL and Giant Anthem X. Old bikes, Motobecane Fantom Pro DS
Posts: 1,192
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 231 Post(s)
Why do husbands usually die first? They want to!
NYMXer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 07:36 AM   #9
Ed.
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Ed.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hopkinton, MA
Bikes: 1938 Raleigh Record Ace (2), 1938 Schwinn Paramount, 1961 Torpado, 1964? Frejus, 1980 Raleigh 753 Team Pro, Moulton, other stuff...
Posts: 1,541
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
I hate it when I do that ('peaking'), but one has to admit one can see further from the top of a peak, possibly even into forbidden places!
Ed. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 07:50 AM   #10
USAZorro
Seņor Member
 
USAZorro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florence, KY
Bikes: 1954 Hetchins M.O., 1959 Viking Severn Valley, 1970 Raleigh Pro, 1972 Fuji "The Finest", 1974 Raleigh Superbe&Comp, 1976 Raleigh Team Pro, 1996 Giant Iguana, 2000 Bob Jackson Arrowhead
Posts: 14,579
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 74 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed. View Post
I hate it when I do that ('peaking'), but one has to admit one can see further from the top of a peak, possibly even into forbidden places!
Peak Bagging is a phenomenon.

__________________
In search of what to search for.
USAZorro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 08:53 AM   #11
cb400bill
Forum Moderator
 
cb400bill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Kalamazoo MI
Bikes: Yes
Posts: 12,226
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 163 Post(s)
Moved from C&V to Jokes & Humor.
cb400bill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-16, 12:47 PM   #12
RobbieTunes 
Idiot Pro Tempo
 
RobbieTunes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: NC
Bikes: at Pedal Room
Posts: 20,862
Mentioned: 20 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 249 Post(s)
I sort of got it. I think Stevie has cousins in NC, and they're all on Facebook.
__________________

Robbie ♪♫♪...☻

Live your life like Coleman did.


1984/85 Klein Performance
1985 Raleigh Racing USA - Competition
1988 Centurion Dave Scott Ironman Master
1989 Centurion Dave Scott Ironman Expert
1989 Centurion Carbon R

http://www.pedalroom.com/members/RobbieTunes
RobbieTunes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-16, 05:21 PM   #13
rmfnla
Senior Member
 
rmfnla's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: La La Land (We love it!)
Bikes: Gilmour road, Curtlo road; both steel (of course)
Posts: 6,278
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 238 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rhm View Post
You're right, actually. He's still living happily ever after in LA.
Nobody live happily in Louisiana, ever after or otherwise...
__________________
Today, I believe my jurisdiction ends here...
rmfnla is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:54 AM.