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  1. #1
    Have bike, will travel Barrettscv's Avatar
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    The Hearing Test

    A husband feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

    "Here's what you do," said the Doctor. "Stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

    That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and the husband was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    No response.

    So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    Still no response.

    Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    Again he gets no response.

    So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    Again there is no response.

    So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner? "

    "Ralph, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"
    Last edited by Barrettscv; 01-30-14 at 05:16 AM.
    2014 Trek DS.1: "Viaggiatore" A do-it-all bike that is waiting in Italy
    2012 Pedal Force CG2: "Secolo Bicicletta" the modern carbon fiber road bike
    2012 Pedal Force CX2: "Carbone CX" the carbon fiber CX bike
    2010 Origin 8 CX 700: "Servizio Grave" Monstercross/29er bike
    1997 Simoncini Special Cyclocross: "Little Simon" lugged Columbus steel CX bike
    1987 Serotta Nova Special X: "Azzurri" The retro Columbus SPX steel road bike

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    "Of course you eat too much" (Looigi) There are things people say that are so true you can never forget the wisdom. I still eat too much. Without denial.
    Awarded 2014 Billy Madison "Ultimate Insult" by jsharr. Must have been something about my rambling, incoherent response...

  3. #3
    Have bike, will travel Barrettscv's Avatar
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    Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
    'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .
    All those aches and pains annoyed me
    And I couldn't sleep at night.

    He could find no real disorder
    But he wouldn't let it rest.
    What with Medicare and Blue Cross,
    We would do a couple tests.

    To the hospital he sent me
    Though I didn't feel that bad.
    He arranged for them to give me
    Every test that could be had.

    I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,
    My aging frame displayed.
    Stripped, on an ice cold table,
    While my gizzards were x-rayed.

    I was checked for worms and parasites,
    For fungus and the crud,
    While they pierced me with long needles
    Taking samples of my blood.

    Doctors came to check me over,
    Probed and pushed and poked around,
    And to make sure I was living
    They then wired me for sound.

    They have finally concluded,
    Their results have filled a page.
    What I have will someday kill me;
    My affliction is old age.
    2014 Trek DS.1: "Viaggiatore" A do-it-all bike that is waiting in Italy
    2012 Pedal Force CG2: "Secolo Bicicletta" the modern carbon fiber road bike
    2012 Pedal Force CX2: "Carbone CX" the carbon fiber CX bike
    2010 Origin 8 CX 700: "Servizio Grave" Monstercross/29er bike
    1997 Simoncini Special Cyclocross: "Little Simon" lugged Columbus steel CX bike
    1987 Serotta Nova Special X: "Azzurri" The retro Columbus SPX steel road bike

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