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  1. #1
    Have bike, will travel Barrettscv's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
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    Edwardsville or Chicago Illinois
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    Peugeot PX10, Serotta Nova X, Simoncini Cyclocross Special, Origin8 monstercross, Pedal Force CG2 and CX2
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    The Hearing Test

    A husband feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

    "Here's what you do," said the Doctor. "Stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

    That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and the husband was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    No response.

    So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    Still no response.

    Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    Again he gets no response.

    So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

    Again there is no response.

    So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner? "

    "Ralph, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"
    Last edited by Barrettscv; 01-30-14 at 05:16 AM.
    When I ride my bike I feel free and happy and strong. I'm liberated from the usual nonsense of day to day life. Solid, dependable, silent, my bike is my horse, my fighter jet, my island, my friend. Together we will conquer that hill and thereafter the world.

  2. #2
    Senior Member RoadTire's Avatar
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    Mar 2012
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    Minnesota
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    '09 Trek 2.1 * '75 Sekine * 2010 Raleigh Talus 8.0 * '90 Giant Mtb * Raleigh M20 * Fuji Nevada mtb
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    FB4K - This December, 2014, 5288 kids received bikes for Christmas. For many, it was their first bike, ever. Every bike, new and used, was donated, built, cleaned and repaired. That amounts to well over 10,000 volunteer hours this fall, just in the Twin Cities. Check us out on FaceBook: FB4K.
    Disclaimer: 99% of what I know about cycling I learned on BF. That would make, ummm, 1% experience. And a lot of posts.

  3. #3
    Have bike, will travel Barrettscv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Edwardsville or Chicago Illinois
    My Bikes
    Peugeot PX10, Serotta Nova X, Simoncini Cyclocross Special, Origin8 monstercross, Pedal Force CG2 and CX2
    Posts
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    Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
    'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .
    All those aches and pains annoyed me
    And I couldn't sleep at night.

    He could find no real disorder
    But he wouldn't let it rest.
    What with Medicare and Blue Cross,
    We would do a couple tests.

    To the hospital he sent me
    Though I didn't feel that bad.
    He arranged for them to give me
    Every test that could be had.

    I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,
    My aging frame displayed.
    Stripped, on an ice cold table,
    While my gizzards were x-rayed.

    I was checked for worms and parasites,
    For fungus and the crud,
    While they pierced me with long needles
    Taking samples of my blood.

    Doctors came to check me over,
    Probed and pushed and poked around,
    And to make sure I was living
    They then wired me for sound.

    They have finally concluded,
    Their results have filled a page.
    What I have will someday kill me;
    My affliction is old age.
    When I ride my bike I feel free and happy and strong. I'm liberated from the usual nonsense of day to day life. Solid, dependable, silent, my bike is my horse, my fighter jet, my island, my friend. Together we will conquer that hill and thereafter the world.

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