Before And After Marriage
Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating.
Before - Twice a night. After - Twice a month.
Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation. After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.
Before - Ricky and Lucy. After - Fred & Ethel.
Before - Saturday Night Live. After - Monday Night Football.
Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars. After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...
Before - Don't Stop. After - Don't Start.
Before - Is that all you are eating? After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.
Before - Wheel of Fortune. After - Jeopardy.
Before - It's like living a dream. After - It's a nightmare.
Before - Turbocharged. After - Needs a jump-start.
Before - We agree on everything! After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
Before - Victoria's Secret. After - Fruit of the Loom.
Before - Feathers and handcuffs. After - Ball and chain.
Before - Idol. After - Idle.
Before - He's lost without me. After - Why can't he ask for directions?
Before - When together, time stands still. After - This relationship is going nowhere.
Before - Croissant and cappuccino. After - Bagels and instant coffee.
Before - Oysters. After - Fishsticks.
Before - I can hardly believe we found each other. After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?