Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Jokes & Humor Life sucks without humor. Post your best (and worst) jokes here.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-20-14, 09:08 PM   #1
cooker
Prefers Cicero
Thread Starter
 
cooker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Toronto
Bikes: 1984 Trek 520; 1990s Peugeot (Canadian-made) rigid mountain bike; 2007 Bike Friday NWT; misc others
Posts: 10,975
Mentioned: 14 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 815 Post(s)
Gladiator

(This partly was inspired by watching a documentary on sex in ancient Rome.)

In ancient Rome, gladiators, although slaves destined to eventually die in the arena, were also celebrated as heroes. Women, in particular, were fascinated by the combination of valour and tragedy they embodied. Their owners capitalized on this fame: ordinary women would pay for samples of gladiators’ sweat, which was thought to have aphrodisiac properties; while wealthy women would sometimes even hire the gladiators themselves from their masters as gigolos.

I can see it now- Pompus the gladiator manager talking to one of his fighters:

Pompus: Hey slave – good news – your fight with Gladius Maximus has been postponed to tomorrow. That means one more day for you to live. He’s killed the last 27 men he’s faced – many of them with his first blow.

Slave: Why the delay?

Pompus: I couldn’t pass up the deals – these Roman wives will pay top denarius to spend the last day or night with a guy who’s probably going to die.

Slave: Really?

Pompus: Yeah, really. So anyway, you’re spending today with Octavia. She’s 50 but she keeps in shape. I hear she likes it a little rough. She also likes to see it coming, so she only wants you till sunset. Then you’re spending the night with Aurelia. Not much of a looker, but hey, it’ll be dark, right? Plus I really jacked up the price, so she said she may have one or two girlfriends over to share the cost.

Slave: Ah, geez boss, can’t I fight Gladius today?

Last edited by cooker; 05-20-14 at 10:14 PM.
cooker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-23-14, 01:12 PM   #2
Keith99
Senior Member
 
Keith99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 5,866
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
reminds me of the one about the 3 Viking ships with the punchline:

Oh no we're raping again. (from the totally spent guys on the 3rd ship).
Keith99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:58 AM.