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  1. #1
    Crispy Member ahsposo's Avatar
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    The Ancient Age Thread

    A group of senior citizens were exchanging complaints about their ailments.

    "My arm is so weak that I can hardly hold this coffee cup."

    "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad that I can't see to pour my coffee."

    "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."

    "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy."

    "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."

    "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we all can still drive."
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  2. #2
    Senior Member trackhub's Avatar
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    Old, but still very good.
    "The People will believe what the Media tells them they believe". George Orwell.

  3. #3
    Crispy Member ahsposo's Avatar
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    No pun intended, I'm sure...
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  4. #4
    Crispy Member ahsposo's Avatar
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    What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, and 68?

    At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.

    At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.

    At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

    At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

    At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.

    At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.

    At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be the story!
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  5. #5
    Crispy Member ahsposo's Avatar
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    Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.

    The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."

    The old man says,"What?"

    So the doctor says it again.

    Once again the old man says, "What?"

    So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!"

    With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  6. #6
    Crispy Member ahsposo's Avatar
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    Top 10 Old Folks' Party Games

    1. Sag, You're It.

    2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.

    3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear.

    4. Kick the Bucket.

    5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over.

    6. Doc, Doc Goose.

    7. Simon Says Something Incoherent.

    8. Hide and Go Pee.

    9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.

    10. Musical Recliners.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  7. #7
    Senior Member trackhub's Avatar
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    Where are you getting these? These are great!
    "The People will believe what the Media tells them they believe". George Orwell.

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