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Old 12-03-14, 05:19 AM   #1
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Blonde Jokes

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"


The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"


Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
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Old 12-03-14, 08:17 AM   #2
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A blonde woman was driving down the road, and saw another blonde woman attempting to row a boat in the middle of a dry field.
The blonde driver stops her car, gets out and surveys the situation for a several minutes, then begins chastising the blonde woman rower for giving other blonde women a bad reputation, with her finally saying, "Please don't make me swim out there, and show you how to row a boat correctly".
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Old 12-03-14, 08:59 AM   #3
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Two blondes were walking along when one of them looked down and said "Hey look! Bear tracks!". The other one looked and said "No, they're deer tracks!". They were still arguing when the train hit them.

A blonde was pulled over by a blonde police officer. The officer asked her for her license so the driver proceeded to search in her purse. Upon not finding anything, the driver asked, "What does it look like?" to which the officer responded that it was a small rectangle with the driver's picture on it. The driver continued to root around in her purse and finally said "Here it is!" and handed it to the officer. The officer took one look at it and said "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop! You're free to go!" and handed the mirror back to the driver.
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Old 12-06-14, 05:10 PM   #4
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Q: What do you call a blonde holding her breath?

A: Increasing brain capacity.
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Old 12-07-14, 12:55 PM   #5
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a blonde was taking the SAT. She sat for 4 hours and turned in her sheet, asking, did I do good?
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Old 12-07-14, 01:45 PM   #6
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I remember those poor blondes that died at the drive in movie theater. They went to see " closed for winter ".
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Old 12-21-14, 02:37 PM   #7
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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?


A: A golden retriever.
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Old 12-23-14, 03:05 PM   #8
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What is the mating call of the Blond?

I'm Soooo drunk.
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Old 01-01-15, 10:08 AM   #9
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How did the blonde get bruises all around her navel?

Guys can be blonde too...

And although it isn't a blonde joke, I'll throw in my favorite Cindy Crawford joke too:

This guy and Cindy are stranded on a desert island due to a plane crash. It becomes obvious that rescue isn't happening anytime soon... So the guy says, "Cindy, how about we strike up a physical relationship to take care of our mutual needs?" Cindy finds it reasonable, so they do.

Time passes, and one day the guy says, "Cindy, could you do me a favor?"

She says "Sure, what?"

"Being a supermodel and all, I noticed that your makeup kit survived the crash. Could you go in the tent, put on some of my clothes, and use the makeup to make yourself look like a man?"

Cindy is puzzled, but agrees. She goes into the tent, puts on some of his clothes, draws a mustache on herself, and steps back out.

"Do I look like a man now?"

"Yeah - good enough - HEY BUDDY! - You'll NEVER guess who I've been doing it with!!"

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Old 02-01-15, 05:17 PM   #10
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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?

A: She had tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
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Old 04-09-15, 01:27 PM   #11
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Can someone explain these jokes to me?
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Old 04-09-15, 03:27 PM   #12
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Can someone explain these jokes to me?
Nicely done.
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Old 03-02-16, 04:43 PM   #13
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What is the mating call of the Blond?

I'm Soooo drunk.

What's the mating call of the Redhead?

Is that damn Blonde gone yet..?
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Old 03-02-16, 04:46 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"


The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"


Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
A blonde gets stopped by a cop, and as he approaches the car he unzips his fly.

He stops at the car window and the blonde says, "Oh, not another breathalyzer test..."
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Old 04-02-16, 09:24 PM   #15
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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

They kept throwing out all the W's.
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Old 04-04-16, 04:05 PM   #16
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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

They kept throwing out all the W's.
They..?
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Old 06-04-16, 05:45 AM   #17
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Did you hear about the blonde that kept buying and returning scarves?

They all fit too tight!

J White
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Old 06-06-16, 12:25 PM   #18
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Did you hear about the blonde that kept buying and returning scarves?

They all fit too tight!

J White
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Old 06-10-16, 02:53 PM   #19
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A blonde got tired of hearing all those blonde jokes, so decided to become a brunette. She dyed her hair, and when it was done she felt hungry so she decided to go to the deli.

She walks into a store and says, "I'll have a pound of ham, a pound of bologna, and half a pound of provolone cheese, please."

The guy takes one look at her and says, "You're really a blonde, aren't you?"

The blonde says, "How can you tell?"

The guy replies, "This is a hardware store."
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Old 06-10-16, 02:57 PM   #20
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Old 08-07-16, 07:08 AM   #21
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Q: How can you tell a blonde has been at your computer?


A: There's cheese in front of the mouse.
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Old 08-30-16, 09:21 AM   #22
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
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Old 08-31-16, 10:37 AM   #23
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Can someone explain these jokes to me?
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Old 09-02-16, 12:51 PM   #24
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Quote:
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Q: How can you tell a blonde has been at your computer?


A: There's cheese in front of the mouse.
Q: How can you tell a blonde has been at your computer?

A: The website he was reading is about being proud of his northern European heritage.
It also talks about black-haired people who are in denial about their african background.
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