cabana 4 life

ok i had this girl friend for 10 years. i quite my job as ups driver a few years ago( to much stress )had to many bills and we had to move home with our parents. i had a started crappy job and then decide to make a living riding my bike. i started a pedicab biz last summer it did well. in august i stared a bike related clothing company and money has been tight so i have stayed living with my parents and so did she. then a friend of mine and hers who was pretty close bought a house in october. in january she took alot of the stuff from our storage unit and moved into his house. she hated it at her moms and i think this was her way out, being that im still living at my parnets. she just recently told me (before moving in with him) that she loved me because im doing what i love. the other guy has had the same job for 14 years he just bought the house and is very stable so im thinking it was stabilty issue it sucks but some time simple living isnt for every one. i chose this life and im happy with it.

Guest

Perhaps. But I wouldn't stay with a guy for ten years either. I need a ring, or I need to find a guy with stability who can offer up a ring. My best years could be wasted on some dood who is making all kinds of promises, then get dumped when I'm all dried up (and keep in mind, I'm halfway to being all dried up! ).

Just accept that it is what it is, and move on.

Koffee

wfin2004

Sometimes we have to make sacrafices for the one we love. I made many for the woman of my dreams. Some hurt in the wallet, some don't. You also have to give up some things to make the other one happy. You can't be on the receiving end all the time.

cabana 4 life

oh i did the whole ring thing then she decide it was just not what she wanted at the time ,that was like 5 years ago. i did every thing for her all the time. she liked me the way i was i thought.

Guest

Hmmmm... maybe she still left because she felt that after 10 years, she just needed something different and she didn't want to waste the extra years with someone that wasn't meeting her needs? Not trying to be cruel, but 10 years... it's a LOOOOOOONG time. I'd come to some life decisions by then too.

Kudos for offering up the ring though.

Koffee

Urbanmonk

It's all socio-biological. Women, and men alike, are taught to develop specific roles in our culture. SOME women, regardless of what we hear by popular feminist talking heads, need to feel that security. There is no shame in that. If we can recognize that part of the other, we can then find a balance which allows two people to enjoy certain things in life that each find important.

Just thoughts

Cheers

BroMax

I don't think it's cruel, as long as you consider cabana also invested ten years. He said he thought his GF was happy with him as he is. If cabana quit his UPS job "a few years ago", what would cause a girl to stay with a guy on the one hand and not tell him what she needs on the other? It seems to me she had the opportunity to make life decisions a lot sooner if she just asked cabana what his plans were and decided whether or not she was willing to accept that.

becnal

A ring on a finger is no guarentee that won't happen to anyone. Sad, but true.

Satyr

Since I have stopped worrying about being in any more relationships my life has been unimaginably free. The mental work required to not crave something society nearly demands has been work, though.

Most people don't realize that companionship is all about what you make of it, rather than being contained in some artificial construct like marriage or a relationship. I can choose to share the same deep feelings with good friends that I used to reserve for so-called significant others.

I commend anyone that holds onto their ideals and lives life as they see fit. The pressure to capitulate to society's demands is great, and it takes a certain amount of courage to be a freethinker.

blonduathlongrl

Sorry, it hard.. but I know that stability can be attractive also, We ( woman) often need that. When you are never certain about a future, for example.. you and her together forever and a home to call your own and knowing that money will come in every week to pay the bills it makes things easier, you're right simple living is not for everyone but also the not knowing what comes next or being able to rely on something for sure is a hard place to be.

Guest

Yeah, but it at least guarantees me half if the marriage breaks up.

Koffee

Guest

Sure. I get it. But women have a biological clock- really. If she wants kids and a stable life and she's getting up there in the years, at some point, I'm sure she'd be analyzing her life and wondering what she should do.

Koffee

rule

To thine own self be true. It can get pretty weird if you try to live a life for somebody else and be something that you don't want to be.

wildjim

"Women are like Monkeys, They dont let go of one branch, until they get hold of another!" - Tom Cruise

blonduathlongrl

that is soooooo not true, and the fact that wacky tom cruise said that proves my point!

wildjim

In my life experiences I would say that Tom Cruise is about 85% correct in his statement.

"Women are like Monkeys, They dont let go of one branch, until they get hold of another!" - Tom Cruise

davidmcowan

I'm a very simple liver. So is my girlfriend. I don't live in my parents basement and don't know that emotionally I could handle it. She surely couldn't.

I think that those of you that talk about the strife involved sharing your lives with another person haven't shared it with the right person. Sure you do have to make some sacrifices but those almost feel good because of the effect they have on your second half. I'm a social worker and take joy in other people's joy and advancement so maybe that is why it doesn't feel like strife to be in a relationship.

My girlfriend has been through thick and thin with me. We are approaching that time where rings should probably be exchanged. I respect that she is probably starting to feel a societal pressure, there are few strong enough to block them all out.

Just a couple of thoughts...

blonduathlongrl

that's YOUR life experience, dont put us all in the same boat!

timmhaan

living with your parents as an adult has a very negative connotation to it. whether it's deserved or not, i can't say. but it's just how it is. it's sort of symbolic of going in the wrong direction in life. it was probably bothering her more than she told you.

wildjim

If a boat is involved I'd say that Tom Cruise is 98% correct in his statement.

"Women are like Monkeys, They dont let go of one branch, until they get hold of another!" - Tom Cruise

blonduathlongrl

OK guess you didnt learn that you should at least know better then arguing with a woman!!! lol, hey too bad for you the woman in your life were bad experiences, I mean that. But we are NOT all the same, too bad you think that way... hey, once I dated a guy that was a compulsive liar.. does that make all men the same? I certainly do not think so and I have a pretty nice hubby of 17 years to prove that.

wildjim

Well it's all subjective in relationships, is it not?

I just think Tom Cruise's statement is funny and so true in many cases.
"Women are like Monkeys, They dont let go of one branch, until they get hold of another!" - Tom Cruise

As for me I am not bitter or anti women; rather I have learned that I do much better living alone with my relationships external. I thank God that I have that ability. Naturally the woman I date feels the same. But everything changes, does it not?

shishi

Sorry to hear that, but as long as you are happy.

Alekhine

Why not? You used the same argumentative technique to "prove" your point about that guy's earlier quote.

Dated liar guy = all guys are liars?
Tom Cruise says some wacky things = everything Tom Cruise says is wacky/wrong?

cabana 4 life

half of nothing is nothing.