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Thread: Hummer bashing

  1. #1
    Fattest Thin Man Az B's Avatar
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    Hummer bashing

    Regardless of how you feel about Hummers, this is funny:



    A guy stopped his Hummer the other day to ask me for directions, and after giving him the directions I said "Drive safely and get your girl on". I kill me.

    Az

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    Crankenstein bmclaughlin807's Avatar
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    YES!!!
    "There is no greater wonder than the way the face and character of a woman fit so perfectly in a man's mind, and stay there, and he could never tell you why. It just seems it was the thing he most wanted." Robert Louis Stevenson

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    Hippykid
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hippykid
    this is awesome. It sends the message that hummers are crap, without the voilenence of window smashing...
    yep.

  6. #6
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    Where is that video of the jeep wrangler towing an H2 off of a 6" tree stump? That was comedy gold.
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    "Per Ardua ad Surly" nelson249's Avatar
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    I have never understood businesses leasing these rolling colostomy bags with their name plastered all over them. "Hi, I'm an ignorant zero who likes to destroy the environment, run over chipmunks and maybe one of your kids; come spend money at my store." Sheesh.
    1997 Mongoose Hilltopper, 1988 Bianchi Specialissima, 2006 Surly Cross-Check, 2010 Norco City Glide, 1947 CCM Single-speed.

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  8. #8
    Humvee of bikes =Worksman Nightshade's Avatar
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    What p!sses me off about Hummers is that our military uses this
    pork barrel piece of ***** to carry our soldiers rather than a proven
    & dependable Jeep. Some idiot congressman must've had pen!s
    envy when they replaced the good ol' jeep.

    It's hard to say how many soldiers have been killed or maimed by
    this piece of ***** vehicle. And they sell it to the public to thin the
    gene pool
    My preferred bicycle brand is.......WORKSMAN CYCLES
    I dislike clipless pedals on any city bike since I feel they are unsafe.

    Originally Posted by krazygluon
    Steel: nearly a thousand years of metallurgical development
    Aluminum: barely a hundred, which one would you rather have under your butt at 30mph?

  9. #9
    Conservative Hippie
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    Speaking of miltary Hummers.

    The Japanese Self-Defense Force, some years ago, took our military Hummer, copied it, modified it, improved it, and came up with a vehicle that, with a 4 cyl turbo-diesel, will run circles around ours.

  10. #10
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tightwad
    What p!sses me off about Hummers is that our military uses this
    pork barrel piece of ***** to carry our soldiers rather than a proven
    & dependable Jeep. Some idiot congressman must've had pen!s
    envy when they replaced the good ol' jeep.

    It's hard to say how many soldiers have been killed or maimed by
    this piece of ***** vehicle. And they sell it to the public to thin the
    gene pool
    Oh wow, I didn't know our military used Hummer H2s! I could have sworn that we used the H1, you know, the one built specifically for military use?

  11. #11
    Humvee of bikes =Worksman Nightshade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Falkon
    Oh wow, I didn't know our military used Hummer H2s! I could have sworn that we used the H1, you know, the one built specifically for military use?
    They don't use the H2. The H2 is GM's attempt to calm the public ire due the car porn H1 being so
    offensive to people. The H1 was sinful excess while the H2 is still sinful excess so what the f*ck
    is different about them??? NOTHING!!
    My preferred bicycle brand is.......WORKSMAN CYCLES
    I dislike clipless pedals on any city bike since I feel they are unsafe.

    Originally Posted by krazygluon
    Steel: nearly a thousand years of metallurgical development
    Aluminum: barely a hundred, which one would you rather have under your butt at 30mph?

  12. #12
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tightwad
    What p!sses me off about Hummers is that our military uses this
    pork barrel piece of ***** to carry our soldiers rather than a proven
    & dependable Jeep. Some idiot congressman must've had pen!s
    envy when they replaced the good ol' jeep.

    It's hard to say how many soldiers have been killed or maimed by
    this piece of ***** vehicle. And they sell it to the public to thin the
    gene pool
    What are you talking about? Comparing a Jeep and a Hummer?
    Quote Originally Posted by SingingSabre View Post
    Cheating: a symptom of the problem.

  13. #13
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tightwad
    They don't use the H2. The H2 is GM's attempt to calm the public ire due the car porn H1 being so
    offensive to people. The H1 was sinful excess while the H2 is still sinful excess so what the f*ck
    is different about them??? NOTHING!!
    let's see, 15 degree incline to one wheel and a jeep flips, possibly killing occupants. Same scenario and the H1 keeps on trucking. The H1 is a fine piece of equipment for MILITARY use.

  14. #14
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    H1 is too bulky, heavy, and has too big of a turning radius compared to a Jeep. The cargo carrying capacity is also not that much different to justify the downsides.

    I also thought the 15 degree issue was fixed on the later jeeps.

    H2 is a modified Suburban, and the H3 is a modified Blazer (or similar size vehicle). IMO they both suck, but the H2 seems to have a following. All I ever see on those videos is the same crap my friend did with his LOWERED F-150, or my 2" lift kitted Buick Regal (looks weird, especially when knobby tires are used, but it allowed me to go where no car should go).
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  15. #15
    Mister Goody Two Shoes KnhoJ's Avatar
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    I'm guessing that the H2's origins have a lot to do with the interior of the H1's. Being crammed up against a paper thin door with mounds of mechanical stuff roaring between you and your passengers and rain blowing in past the seals? And horking over $60,000-100,000 for the privilege? It's like nothing else! It's not the kind of car the executive type who can afford such a toy can get away with hauling anyone around in.
    Although, I've got to say that seeing one getting stuck right smack in the middle of NW 23rd Avenue in Portland was hilarious. All the other drivers had to stop and squeeze over to let it through, but that didn't work when the bus had to get by. Pedestrians came to the rescue and redirected traffic to make room for the owner to get the thing out of everyone's way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KnhoJ
    I'm guessing that the H2's origins have a lot to do with the interior of the H1's. Being crammed up against a paper thin door with mounds of mechanical stuff roaring between you and your passengers and rain blowing in past the seals? And horking over $60,000-100,000 for the privilege? It's like nothing else! It's not the kind of car the executive type who can afford such a toy can get away with hauling anyone around in.
    Although, I've got to say that seeing one getting stuck right smack in the middle of NW 23rd Avenue in Portland was hilarious. All the other drivers had to stop and squeeze over to let it through, but that didn't work when the bus had to get by. Pedestrians came to the rescue and redirected traffic to make room for the owner to get the thing out of everyone's way.
    Probably the first place the proud owner drove to after signing the papers. He just couldn't wait to be seen on Trendythird with his new trophy...

  17. #17
    Fixie
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    I just had to chime in . . .

    I ride my bike every day to work (16mi round) to make commercials. This month it has been hummer commercials.

    In most senses, I have been car free for 6 years.

    cheers,
    krets

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    Speaking of Hummer commercials, have ya'll seen the new ones? There's one where this guy buying a bunch of health food looks longingly at the guy in front of him buying a bunch of meat (because that's makes him a manly man or some such BS). Next you see the health food guy driving down the road in a Hummer. Message: I feel inadequate so I need this big truck to compensate.

    Finally - truth in advertising!!

  19. #19
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    I also saw the H3 one of the H3 passing the gas station, and they advertise 20hwy mpg. Whoopty ****in-doo It's a 5-cyl diesel that's severely underpowered, overweight, AND only gets 20 HWY mpg.

  20. #20
    Conquer Cancer rider Boudicca's Avatar
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    Biking home one day, and there's a hummer parked by the side of the road, the hood up (well actually the whole front of the monster) and a pool of pink fluid seeping out from under the car. Driver was pacing anxiously and clutching microscopic cellphone, while his girlfriend was in the passenger seat, head on the dash looking miserable. I stopped. The conversation went like this:
    Innocent biker chick: Oh, what happened?
    Hummerite: Lost my transmission.
    Innocent biker chick: Oh. I don't suppose an ordinary tow truck can cope with something like this?
    Hummerite: No. I've got to wait for a flatbed.

    YES!!!!

    And I beamed my way home.
    Zero gallons to the mile

  21. #21
    Hippykid
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boudicca
    Biking home one day, and there's a hummer parked by the side of the road, the hood up (well actually the whole front of the monster) and a pool of pink fluid seeping out from under the car. Driver was pacing anxiously and clutching microscopic cellphone, while his girlfriend was in the passenger seat, head on the dash looking miserable. I stopped. The conversation went like this:
    Innocent biker chick: Oh, what happened?
    Hummerite: Lost my transmission.
    Innocent biker chick: Oh. I don't suppose an ordinary tow truck can cope with something like this?
    Hummerite: No. I've got to wait for a flatbed.

    YES!!!!

    And I beamed my way home.
    Sweet!!!

  22. #22
    Senior Member slagjumper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tightwad
    What p!sses me off about Hummers is that our military uses this
    pork barrel piece of ***** to carry our soldiers rather than a proven
    & dependable Jeep. Some idiot congressman must've had pen!s
    envy when they replaced the good ol' jeep.

    It's hard to say how many soldiers have been killed or maimed by
    this piece of ***** vehicle. And they sell it to the public to thin the
    gene pool
    Looks like we might be getting smarter.
    http://www.answers.com/topic/buffalo...tected-vehicle

    http://armyreco.ifrance.com/afrique/...-africa_01.gif

    Here's what it looks like after a mine--
    http://www.csir.co.za/plsql/ptl0002/...CLE_NO=7019125

    I've been in one of these in South Aftrica. The cool thing is that under the troop carrier, there is a "V" shaped, water filled monohull that directs the force of the blast away from the occupants.

    H uge U gly M onster M ostly E ats R esources. (both fuel and human)
    Last edited by slagjumper; 08-29-06 at 01:18 PM.

  23. #23
    500 Watts kill.cactus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catatonic
    H1 is too bulky, heavy, and has too big of a turning radius compared to a Jeep. The cargo carrying capacity is also not that much different to justify the downsides.
    You are forgetting something - the H1 and the Jeep (wrangler or any other Jeep besides perhaps the Commander, which still is kinda a weakling compared to the wrangler) are meant for two totally different situations. Obviously the H1 is a huge, heavy, thick fortress that is meant to simply carry stuff safely across moderate offroad terrain. You aren't going to go rockclimbing with that thing because face it - it is simply too big and unweildy. The Wrangler (or whatever the military version of that jeep is) is small and manuverable compared to the H1, and has much more offroad capability. However, it is small and cannot carry troops and supplies through battlegrounds because of its lack of defense.

    That explains why there are so many more wranglers doing recreational offroading than H1s. Well... also the H1 is a crapload of money... But you get the point - the H1 is a missing link between the jeep and an M1 Tank

  24. #24
    500 Watts kill.cactus's Avatar
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    I didn't want to seem harsh when I was saying it isn't correct to compare these two vehicles, I was just clarifying.


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    Military Jeep

    What you see on the road as a Jeep Wrangler is quite different than a military jeep. The M151 1/4 ton truck had if I remember right a 40hp 4 cylinder engine, it's top speed was about 50mph. They had a serious problem with rollover and vibration. They also used gasoline instead of the much safer diesel that the HMMV uses. I drove jeeps for several years, and can say they are uncomfortable and difficult to drive for long periods of time, as well as slow. Their only redeeming quality was their lightweight, if we got stuck we could round up a couple of guys to push it out. Of course it doesn't help that the last jeeps were built in the 50's. They were originally designed to support light infantry units, and just couldn't keep up with modern mechanized forces. For military use, the HMMV is great.

    However, anybody who drives one to work is a moron, same with Navigators etc.

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