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  1. #1
    gwd
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    Car Free Dating Experience

    Last week I was out with a woman I'd been seeing for a few years. It finally dawned on her. She exclaimed: "So you're not poor! You ride around on that old bike. You don't have a car. You don't have a big house. How could I tell?" I don't know what she'd been thinking. I never complained about lack of money. I guess she thought I was making a big sacrifice for her when I bought good tickets to shows or fancy restaurant meals. Car free people don't emit some of the normal American signals for "not poor".

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    Disgruntled Planner bpohl's Avatar
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    Yeah, the girl that I'm seeing had assumed that I was poor when she first saw me on a Friday, because I was carrying my bike into the elevator and was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Then, the more she saw me around, teh more she noticed that I "looked fancy, smelled fancy and seemed to always be with fancy people." She was convinced I wasn't broke when I took her to dinner at her favorite restaurant. (although I was broke after that)

    I think it's genuinely unforatunate that so much status is determined by what people drive. I do have a car, a Toyota Yaris, but I certainly don't think of it as a status symbol.
    Don't waste your breath to save your face when you have done your best.

  3. #3
    Senior Member kf5nd's Avatar
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    Wimmenz DNA makes them look for evidence of resources for supporting the brood that they want to make. That's the sad fact of it. OK, I guess I'm going to get pummeled now.

    Well gwd, you could wear an expensive watch and other jewelry. You could pin copies of your Charles Schwab brokerage statements to your bike jersey.
    Last edited by kf5nd; 10-09-07 at 02:25 PM.

  4. #4
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kf5nd View Post
    Wimmenz DNA makes them look for evidence of resources for supporting the brood that they want to make. That's the sad fact of it. OK, I guess I'm going to get pummeled now.

    Well gwd, you could wear an expensive watch and other jewelry. You could pin copies of your Charles Schwab brokerage statements to your bike jersey.
    It's more so with younger women. In my 30's it seemed like most all women wanted outward symbols of success.

    But now that I'm in my 50s, the bicycle is a positive symbol. That I can ride 70 miles in a day says that I'm not a couch potato. But I make a point of insisting on paying for dinners, as they do the driving. I point out that the cost of the gas may be as much as the cost of the dinner, so its equal. I want them to see me as sensible with my money, but generous where it counts. (spending it on them).

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    Nice thing about living in NYC is almost everybody is car free here and most people don't have cars. (I guess being able to afford to live in Manhattan is proof enough that you can, as Kf5nd so eloquently puts it, afford to support a brood).

    I did go on a blind date once with a girl from Westchester who drove her SUV into the City. I remember how much trouble we had trying to find her a place to park.

    The car spoiled the whole date because since she had to drive we couldn't drink! So instead of going to a bar we got ice cream.

    Needless to say the date did not go well. As Ogen Nash said, Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker!

    How people in car country can date without drinking is beyond me.

  6. #6
    Crankenstein bmclaughlin807's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Izengabe View Post
    Nice thing about living in NYC is almost everybody is car free here and most people don't have cars. (I guess being able to afford to live in Manhattan is proof enough that you can, as Kf5nd so eloquently puts it, afford to support a brood).

    I did go on a blind date once with a girl from Westchester who drove her SUV into the City. I remember how much trouble we had trying to find her a place to park.

    The car spoiled the whole date because since she had to drive we couldn't drink! So instead of going to a bar we got ice cream.

    Needless to say the date did not go well. As Ogen Nash said, Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker!

    How people in car country can date without drinking is beyond me.
    What's wrong with going out for ice cream? *boggles*
    "There is no greater wonder than the way the face and character of a woman fit so perfectly in a man's mind, and stay there, and he could never tell you why. It just seems it was the thing he most wanted." Robert Louis Stevenson

  7. #7
    rhm
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    multimodal commuter rhm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Izengabe View Post
    How people in car country can date without drinking is beyond me.
    One of the great philosophical questions of our age. I found in college that people had a lot more fun at parties that involved drinking, but that most of them never got in the least drunk. There's something about a drink in hand that indicates you're fully off the leash, free to unwind, in a way that an ice cream cone doesn't. It's like alcohol is a catalyst for a good time. The problem is when people use it as a substitute for a good time....

  8. #8
    Healthy and active twobikes's Avatar
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    The good news in your story is that this woman has been seeing you over several years while thinking you are poor. She has enough character to look for character in you rather than signs of wealth on you. She may be a keeper. Supposedly, one of the things women do use as a quick gauge of a man is a decent wristwatch. Who da thunk it?

    Women do look for security. Young women who look for signs of wealth probably lack some character, themselves, and are not yet keepers, if they will be one day.

    Someone said, "Men marry women hoping they will never change, but they always do. Women marry men hoping they will change, but they never do." Women have a thing about 'potential.' They think about what they can make you into. Find someone who is happy with you the way you are now.

    If a relationship needs alcohol for fuel, it will likely run out of gas before long.
    Who am I?
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  9. #9
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    Hmm. When my wife and I were dating, I was poor. And broke. And unemployed. And living with my parents. And she drove everywhere we went because I didn't have a car. Dang, I must have been hot.

    Edit: Oh, the wristwatch. That must have been it. I had a nice watch.

  10. #10
    gwd
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    Quote Originally Posted by twobikes View Post
    She may be a keeper.
    We'll see.

  11. #11
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    Just look at how the majority of the country sees us.
    I took this from another forum where a girl was asking for advice about when she ran into her ex at a club and he harrassed her.........

    " So we walk to our car, and the guy and his buddy (one of the ones who shoved me) start riding their bicycles behind us

    -----------

    First mistake: dating a guy that does not own a car, or a guy with friends, that do not own cars. As much as i know I will get flack for this, it spells "poor loser". as does the behavior. Very "I am 14". A bicycle, at a club. Good lord!"

  12. #12
    gwd
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoltani View Post
    A bicycle, at a club. Good lord!"
    Hey! I've gone to nice clubs with dress codes and all, by bike, with car free
    girlfriends or met up with car dependent friends. We've had fun. The
    car dependent people had to deal with Valet parking and all that and worrying
    about not drinking too much.

  13. #13
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteABike View Post
    Hmm. When my wife and I were dating, I was poor. And broke. And unemployed. And living with my parents. And she drove everywhere we went because I didn't have a car. Dang, I must have been hot.

    Edit: Oh, the wristwatch. That must have been it. I had a nice watch.
    Or she liked you for your legs.

  14. #14
    ****** squegeeboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwd View Post
    Hey! I've gone to nice clubs with dress codes and all, by bike, with car free
    girlfriends or met up with car dependent friends. We've had fun. The
    car dependent people had to deal with Valet parking and all that and worrying
    about not drinking too much.
    I worry just as much about not drinking too much, or maybe even more, if I'm taking the bike out.
    In the words of Einstein
    "And now I think I'll take a bath"

  15. #15
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squegeeboo View Post
    I worry just as much about not drinking too much, or maybe even more, if I'm taking the bike out.

    You would rather drive drunk than ride drunk?

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    People still think that car-free means poor?

    I would've figured they thought it meant virgin?

  17. #17
    ****** squegeeboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoltani View Post
    You would rather drive drunk than ride drunk?
    Don't have a car anymore. But I def. don't ride if I have more than 3-4 in me, and I generally try not to ride if I know I'm going to have more than 2, I'll walk it or catch a ride with a friend for those evenings.

    Back when I had a car, there was a few times when I was stupid enough to drive when I perhaps shouldn't have been, and I remeber it being easier than the once or twice I've done it on my bike.
    In the words of Einstein
    "And now I think I'll take a bath"

  18. #18
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RadioFlyer View Post
    People still think that car-free means poor?

    I would've figured they thought it meant virgin?
    How about a poor virgin looser?

    It is amazing how our pop culture is constantly putting down the bicycle as a viable means of transportation. So many movies and television shows present people who ride bikes as loosers who cannot get laid or afford a car. lame.....

  19. #19
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squegeeboo View Post
    Don't have a car anymore. But I def. don't ride if I have more than 3-4 in me, and I generally try not to ride if I know I'm going to have more than 2, I'll walk it or catch a ride with a friend for those evenings.

    Back when I had a car, there was a few times when I was stupid enough to drive when I perhaps shouldn't have been, and I remeber it being easier than the once or twice I've done it on my bike.
    herein lies the problem, when you are drunk it is easy to get behind the wheel and turn the key, but when you are drunk and trying to ride your bike maybe you can't even do it http://www.metacafe.com/watch/35650/drunk_cyclist/

  20. #20
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    Funny vid!

  21. #21
    gwd
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    Quote Originally Posted by squegeeboo View Post
    I worry just as much about not drinking too much, or maybe even more, if I'm taking the bike out.
    One of my car free girlfriends told me that when she was younger she once drank too much to ride so she had to walk the bike home. I guess I don't drink to that point. I think you're much less likely to hurt someone else if you do something dumb on a bike than in a car. What I worry about coming home from a night out is the drunk car drivers who might hit me. If I'm on a date weather by bike or walking or taxi or car it doesn't seem like a good policy to drink so much I can't ride a bike. I mean what if my date wants to have sex? Sex is better sober. If I've had too many to ride a bike I probably won't put in a very good performance between the sheets. I've heard tell that some uptight religious nuts can't get it on without having a few drinks as an excuse, but does any one need so many they can't ride a bike before they can loosen up enough to get naked with a girlfriend? I think not. Correct me if I'm wrong.

    There must be a car free word for being so drunk you can't ride a bike.

  22. #22
    Disgruntled Planner bpohl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RadioFlyer View Post
    People still think that car-free means poor?

    I would've figured they thought it meant virgin?
    "Hope you got a big trunk, cause I'm putting my bike in it!"
    Don't waste your breath to save your face when you have done your best.

  23. #23
    Disgruntled Planner bpohl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squegeeboo View Post
    Don't have a car anymore. But I def. don't ride if I have more than 3-4 in me, and I generally try not to ride if I know I'm going to have more than 2, I'll walk it or catch a ride with a friend for those evenings.

    Back when I had a car, there was a few times when I was stupid enough to drive when I perhaps shouldn't have been, and I remeber it being easier than the once or twice I've done it on my bike.
    Jeez, now I feel like a complete ass. I love to ride drunk. Just a few weeks ago I had about 15 beers in four hours, then rode my bike home. Man, that was a GREAT time!
    Don't waste your breath to save your face when you have done your best.

  24. #24
    Instigator at best kjohnnytarr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bpohl View Post
    Jeez, now I feel like a complete ass. I love to ride drunk. Just a few weeks ago I had about 15 beers in four hours, then rode my bike home. Man, that was a GREAT time!
    Sometimes I ride better than I walk drunk. It's nice having momentum on your side. I do remember one time I was way to drunk to be riding though; I got home safe, but I made my beater live up to its name. I rode off a ledge to get to the bike-rack :O
    Quote Originally Posted by JoshFrank View Post
    (By icing I mean puke and by cake I mean Lexus)
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  25. #25
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    Riding a bike drunk can still land you in the same legal trouble as a DUI/DWI. Remember that your bike is considered a vehicle and is supposed to follow the rules of the road, of which, driving while intoxicated is a fairly serious offense.

    And sex after a few drinks is way more fun than sober. You'll find that most girls are alot crazier in bed after they had a few drinks to loosen up their inhibitions. Now sex while completely wasted is a different story...you might not remember it and where is the fun in that?

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