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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    The Clash Between Generations.

    Edited now because I re-read it for the first time . . . ummm, I am just as dramatic, spoiled, etc. as I always feared. Great.
    Last edited by Shaverda; 11-26-07 at 06:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Dances With Cars TRaffic Jammer's Avatar
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    They wanted you to take your sister so they could be alone. It's code.

  3. #3
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    Lol. This is indeed possible, but I doubt it. Very much so, in fact.

  4. #4
    Tarck Bike Dot Com bigbadwimp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TRaffic Jammer View Post
    They wanted you to take your sister so they could be alone. It's code.
    Eeeewwwww, everyone knows parents don't do that.

  5. #5
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    It's all compromise. You'll be out on your own soon, so you'll be able to be completely car free then. Don't worry about being militant about being so sensible. Adopt the "short timer" attitude. You'll be out of it soon. Don't worry about it.

    Being car free is pretty freakish to the car centric. We all have to choose our fights. Be bike centric, not car phobic.

    Seems pretty reasonable that your sister wanted to look at the menu there, and just being there where they can smell and feel the place is important for some people. Give your parents a chance to be alone, and get a chance to know your sister better. Believe it or not, she may be your best friend in life if you give it a chance. Not because you are alike, but because no one else will understand you as well.

  6. #6
    Dances With Cars TRaffic Jammer's Avatar
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    Far from dead here.

    See your folks can't make noise until all are out of the house....
    *so after successfully planting THAT imagine in your brain*
    Have a nice weekend....
    lying in bed..thinking.....

    listening....


    Oddly enough the folks can be great friends after you move out.

  7. #7
    Call me The Breeze I_bRAD's Avatar
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    haha

  8. #8
    the bike made me do it oneredstar's Avatar
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    I don't think you are acting spoiled. It is your choice. Yes you are young, and it may be a struggle, but it is your decision. I went through a similar thing when I became vegetarian at the age of 14, and to be honest it is still an issue raised at times, so I would not wait until you are out of the home. My being car free raises issue all the time, not many people understand it.

    I stuck to my guns and found good, close friends, who supported me, and this made it easier for me.

    What ever you choose to do, do it knowing that you are doing what you want to do.

  9. #9
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    It is hard for parents to accept that their kids think differently. After all, they are pretty sure that use of your brain is a new activity for you and they aren't sure all the bugs are worked out yet. When you come to different conclusions, they of course think with all their years of experience, they are more likely right than you.

    And they might be. But it doesn't change a thing. You have to eventually learn to think for yourself and it is never to early to try.

    This advice has been brought to you by someone three times your age so you may take it as suspicious if you wish.

  10. #10
    hell's angels h/q e3st ny brunop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaverda View Post
    It got to the point where my mom said/yelled, "Why do you have to make this so hard?"


    One example of my problems with a car-free lifestyle and my parents. Do you think I acted spoiledly? When dealing with parents, where do you think I should draw the line?
    punch her in the head next time.
    ". . .a striped jersey under his jacket; bared calves (outside the bicycle track); cap pushed back; feet in a false position on the pedals; a barking horn, a disorderly appearance, an always-dry tongue, and a definite fondness for wine merchants. . ."

  11. #11
    Senior Member Kimmitt's Avatar
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    My wife and I occasionally have this discussion; we've evolved a set of rules for when it's apropos for me to use the bike and when the car needs to be deployed. It might be useful to frame this to your folks as you exploring how to make a car-free (or car-light) lifestyle successful. Then when there are bumpy results, you can say, "Well, that experiment didn't work; thanks for your patience with me trying out different ways to do this."

  12. #12
    Senior Member wheel's Avatar
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    car-light/free don't get to wrapped up into it. (in your case no need for tension/stress)
    I would look at this as car-light/free training for when you turn 18.
    Last edited by wheel; 11-24-07 at 05:46 PM.

  13. #13
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    Use the bike when possible. Arrange your own matters so that it is always possible for things you are doing. If the parameters of the trip are not possible to do on a bike, use a car. They expanded the parameters of the trip to require a car, and they likely had reason to; don't worry about it.

  14. #14
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    so let me get this strait. you were going to a resturaunt and had no obligation to pick them up any food but you made a selfless offer to do so, they agreed to thier benifit but wanted you to go yet farther out of your obligatory bounderies by taking your sister.

    sound like your parents are the ones who are acting spoiled and childish




    Quote Originally Posted by Shaverda View Post
    Heh, the title is not dramatic at all.

    Anywho, I was wondering what ya'll think is far enough to push, when my (attempted) carfree lifestyle becomes detrimental to my parents, when it turns into selfishness.

    My parents are pretty much the average couple in respect to cars--they (think they) can't live without them. I'm sixteen years of age and have my license as well as a car to drive. I usually go out of my way to offer to retrieve food to go from places for my parents, run errands, etc. My parents are all for me doing errands, of course, but then we hit a little hitch when I mention I'm biking them. I don't think they're concerned with the safety of it at all.

    Just want an outsider's evaulation of this little situation a few days ago. At lunchtime, I offered to bring back food from a restaurant if they wanted it. It was a restaurant they had never been to but I had called up the menu online. They said sure, they made their food selections, etc., then they told me to take my sister simply for the sole reason that she wanted to go to look at the menu there. My sister hates bikes as well, so I would have had to have driven a car if I took her. Long story short, I didn't see a reason for this, and told them so. It got to the point where my mom said/yelled, "Why do you have to make this so hard?"


    One example of my problems with a car-free lifestyle and my parents. Do you think I acted spoiledly? When dealing with parents, where do you think I should draw the line?

  15. #15
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    i dont think YOU should ever punch your mom in the head , but i would have


    Quote Originally Posted by brunop View Post
    punch her in the head next time.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaverda View Post
    Heh, the title is not dramatic at all.

    Anywho, I was wondering what ya'll think is far enough to push, when my (attempted) carfree lifestyle becomes detrimental to my parents, when it turns into selfishness.

    My parents are pretty much the average couple in respect to cars--they (think they) can't live without them. I'm sixteen years of age and have my license as well as a car to drive. I usually go out of my way to offer to retrieve food to go from places for my parents, run errands, etc. My parents are all for me doing errands, of course, but then we hit a little hitch when I mention I'm biking them. I don't think they're concerned with the safety of it at all.

    Just want an outsider's evaulation of this little situation a few days ago. At lunchtime, I offered to bring back food from a restaurant if they wanted it. It was a restaurant they had never been to but I had called up the menu online. They said sure, they made their food selections, etc., then they told me to take my sister simply for the sole reason that she wanted to go to look at the menu there. My sister hates bikes as well, so I would have had to have driven a car if I took her. Long story short, I didn't see a reason for this, and told them so. It got to the point where my mom said/yelled, "Why do you have to make this so hard?"


    One example of my problems with a car-free lifestyle and my parents. Do you think I acted spoiledly? When dealing with parents, where do you think I should draw the line?

    You don't have a Lifestyle. You are just a kid living at home. And yes this also goes for all you 20-30 somethings still hanging in your parents basements.

    -D

  17. #17
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by derath View Post
    You don't have a Lifestyle. You are just a kid living at home. And yes this also goes for all you 20-30 somethings still hanging in your parents basements.

    -D
    Presumably with an automobile supplied by those big meanies, with the insurance and all expenses paid for too. And they have the audacity to ask you for a favor and take your sister somewhere? Oh, the horror! The outrage! Who wudda thunk? Tell 'em you never will set foot in that automobile again. That'll show 'em who's boss.

  18. #18
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    Okay, okay, one vote for spoiled. Understandable.

  19. #19
    put our Heads Together cerewa's Avatar
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    Shaverda, I don't think you were all that far out of line but I also recommend you go along with your parents just for the sake of going along with your parents.

    It hasn't been that long that I've been living away from my parents so I know how hard it can be when parents tell you what to do so often (and let's face it, parents are not always right), but you have to pick your battles. A short trip to the restaurant in the car does not need to be a huge deal.

    That said, if they are coming up with excuses to keep you off the bike every time you want to use it for transportation, there might be a reason they're not talking to you about. It may be that they think it looks like your family is dirt poor if you don't drive, or that they really do think biking is too dangerous.

    You might want to promise them (and then stick to the promise) that you're not going to fight with them or repeat the same old arguments over and over again, but that you want them to be aware of the main reasons you would like to be car-free (such as saving money, being in shape, and being more enviro-friendly).
    Some awesome folks who are working to give Haitians the ability to manage their safety and their lives:
    Haiti Partners

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaverda View Post
    Okay, okay, one vote for spoiled. Understandable.
    two actually. But who's counting.

    -D

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
    Presumably with an automobile supplied by those big meanies, with the insurance and all expenses paid for too. And they have the audacity to ask you for a favor and take your sister somewhere? Oh, the horror! The outrage! Who wudda thunk? Tell 'em you never will set foot in that automobile again. That'll show 'em who's boss.
    whatever he tried to do something nice for them out of the kindness of his heart and they took it farther than his origional offer

  22. #22
    Bike ≠ Car ≠ Ped. BarracksSi's Avatar
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    My parents are only concerned about my safety when I tell them about how I ride to work and all around town. I'd wager that yours are worried, too, and they're trying anything they can think of to keep you safer.

  23. #23
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TonyCtattoo View Post
    whatever he tried to do something nice for them out of the kindness of his heart and they took it farther than his origional offer
    "Kindness of his heart"? "Took it farther"? "Original offer?"
    Interesting concepts of the parent-child relationship. Especially for a live-in minor child still living on the economic teat.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by TRaffic Jammer View Post
    Oddly enough the folks can be great friends after you move out.
    +1 Only after I turned 30 did many of my dads annoying habits finally make sense to me. Now we get along like best friends: working outside together, playing jokes on each other, fixing things together. He is kind of like an older smarter brother now. My only regrets are that it took this long and that I live so far away from him.

    I don't expect him to give up his pickup truck and he is amused about my bike commuting and my wifes bus commuting.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
    "Kindness of his heart"? "Took it farther"? "Original offer?"
    Interesting concepts of the parent-child relationship. Especially for a live-in minor child still living on the economic teat.
    I did have a long reply ready to post but decided getting too off topic would be disrespectfull to the origional poster not that you have respect for anyone under 35 according to your origional post.

    .back on topic...

    kid I think your fine in excersizing yourself as an individual and despite the oppinions of others being a minor does not make you a worthless slave. but be thankfull your parents do offer to let you drive and provide you with a roof. and learn to drive best you can ever cause while you may be able to live car free as an individual you may need to be able to drive for a future job.

    but be thankfull for your parents I was on my own at 16 and it wasent fun I might make 80k + on a good year now but there were a lot of nights I went cold annd hungery getting to this point

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