bicycletothesun

I smell someone who hasn't gotten laid in a few months/years

Ironically, my richest friend has the biggest trouble getting laid. Because he is so rich he grew up believing everything can be bought and that his wealth would be good as any reason to be with him. Last time he banged a girl? Mid 2008. He's not unfortunate looking, cycles and lifts often, but his attitude around women is just a sorry sight to witness. & he certainly knows how to flaunt his wealth.

There are no doubt many women who do want a rich guy and screw them/marry them only because of the wealth. Do you really want to associate yourself with such women anyway? Once they sweep you under the rug, siphon off your accounts through divorce, what have you at that point?

I currently have a PT low wage college job while I finish school and have little difficulty finding beautiful women (and ones who do take cycling seriously). It certainly isn't my bank account ($47.34 currently but last week I had about 3 overdrafts).

Women want confidence not desperation which is what your post ooozes. You're probably a good looking guy with a cyclists body, lived life and have interesting experiences/stories, ---- so there should be no reason for you to have that attitude.

AdamD

Thank you for saying this Chris. Of course if you ask a woman if she wants a man with money she'll say yes, but that doesn't mean it's her top priority. Once you figure out what you want in a woman for *yourself* not to impress anyone or for some ego stroking you'll have much better success. Oh yeah, no one should ever watch Oprah and take anything to heart.

Skones MickLoud

Women love poor, unemployed guys!

corkscrew

Someone in the living car free forum takes Oprah seriously?

*face palm*

Roody

Actually, I think that 100 % of all cars are or were new at one time.

Sorry--off-topic. We should get back to the sordid subject of using automobiles as mate-bait.

gwd

I think college is different isn't it? When I attended, "Whats your major?" was a proxy for "Whats your likely future worth?" but even if you had some hokey intellectual major like philosophy or classics you could sex it up with some glib talk. Maybe the '70s were different. After college, more girls seemed to look for the ostentatious displays of wealth than they did on campus. But, I pretty much agree with ChrisL above. His post made me think that with desktop publishing you could modify your bank statement or deposit slip or pay stub and leave it as a book mark or somewhere she could see it if you want to work that scam. The problem is she'll expect you to spend accordingly right?

RVD72

Down here in Southern California, sorry to say this but you're basically a loser if you don't have a nice car. There are very few quality (meaning "hot") women that will date a guy who doesn't own a nice car, let alone not own any car.

I have a close friend of mine who drove an old 10+ year old beater car. He makes good money so I (as well as other friends) always bugged him to buy himself a shiny new luxury car. We kept telling him to buy a BMW so that he can get himself a gf. For years he kept saying "no, I don't want a superficial girl who will only date me if I have a nice car" or "I want a girl who will date me even with this car because then I know she truly loves me", etc...

Finally about 6 months ago he bought himself a nice Lexus. And lo and behold, 2 weeks later he found himself a nice girlfriend and they are still together now.

Of course he says that she's such a great gal that she have gone out with him regardless (and who knows, maybe it's true...she does seem like a nice girl), but the timing is just way too coincidental.

I can hear it already...girl calling Dr. Laura saying "my bf lives in a 1 bedroom apartment and doesn't own a car so he rides his bike everywhere"...lol.

Anyway, fun.

Curious LeTour

Look, the guys that can pick up women easily, even while living a materially simple life, have amazing personalities and/or looks. Mabye they don't have both, but I'd bet my money that they don't live a simple life, and have below average looks, and still date women that are average, or above.

Everyone has a value on the dating market. Sure, there are some variations when it comes to valuing a person, due to person tastes, but if you step back and look at the big picture and average it all out, lasting relationships occur between two people that bring equal value to the table.

It's not just about money. It's about you "life situation". Money does tend to expose some things about a person's life situation though.

All of us are made up of a combination of values. All of this can still be averaged out to a round about value on the dating market.

Men place a higher value on looks, when it comes to choosing a mate. Women care about looks too, but a man's "life situation" is typically higher on her list. Some women place having common interests, and common values way up on the lists, but not all women do this. Also, it's one thing for a woman to say she's looking for common interests, but talk is cheap.

We could also debate why women with above average looks have more options on the dating market. Sure, I've come across a few attractive women with horrible attitudes, and I could tell you some politically correct lines right now too, but attractive women still have more options. As guys, we are more willing to find out if they have a good personality or not. A less attractive woman can impress me, but she has less room for error in the personality department, as a generalization. A man's access to resources is treated the same way.

Go read The Evolution of Desire, Strategies of Human Mating by David M. Buss, then come back post a reply.

I've been part of groups with higher socio economic status, and part of groups with lower socio economic status. I've earned over $90 grand a year, and less than $20 grand a year, and I have seen differences. I'm currently at the lower end of the pay scale. Sometimes its not all about the dollars either, but about social standing.

CbadRider

I like how you associate quality women with "hot". If you want to date Barbie, you need to drive the little corvette and live in the McMansion, or she won't give you a second look.

If you want to date a quality "real" woman, you need to have confidence in yourself and a personality such that she will fall for you and not your mode of transportation. I'm betting your Lexus friend got a boost in self-confidence from his shiny new car.

And yes, I live in Southern California.

mijome07

I'm also from So Cal. Awhile back I met up with my cousin and friends at a local restaurant. I rode over there where they were outside in the patio area. So I had my bike on the outside of the gate. This chick had recognized me from inside and asked my cousin (as he was walking through) if that was me. He knows her and her brother. He said yeah to her. So she came out to say hello. It was a chick I used to date back in high school.

Long story short, we caught up on old times and she had asked how I got there. I pointed at my bike (5 ft. away) and said, "with that". I told her that I didn't drive anymore and that I ride my bike everywhere. Let's just say that's where the conversion ended. I've know this girl (which is very attractive) to always be materialistic/gold digger/whatever.

So I just continued drinking with my cousin and friends and had a good time. Although a good majority of women are like that down here, there are some that aren't. Whenever I ride to the beach, I get a kick out of all the guys who drive around revving their engines, driving fast, blasting their radios, etc. It's almost as if they are fishing. To me, they're all insecure looking for validation.

Newspaperguy

Southern California might be a different world, but my car-light status hasn't hindered me in the least. The biggest obstacle I have is a shortage of single women who meet my criteria. The ones I've been interested in have had no trouble at all with me preferring a car-light lifestyle.

RVD72

Well, Southern California is a car and freeway culture. Of course not every girl is like this but for most girls, your car is part of your identity. An idiot who happens to drive a Ferrari is going to get girls down here but to my friend who just bought the Lexus, I basically tell him that his car helped the conversation with the girl continue and he's a nice person so she kept an open mind, etc. That door would have likely been shut if he didn't have his car.

Because of this somewhat odd culture, you have some odd situations where a guy will drive a $50k while living at home with his parents or an expensive car but renting an apartment, etc.

I'm married so I'm not in the dating scene. My wife and I have a car each and we've been talking about going down to 1 car instead of 2 but it's simply just too inconvenient. We've experimented with living with 1 car and usually after 1 week we break down and end up using the 2nd car.

But Southern California is way too spread out so there isn't that much public transportation. It's also kind of dangerous in many areas.

Smallwheels

I understand your criticism but it wasn't Oprah's study. It was a story about more than one study done at universities.

Women naturally want providers. It is part of their internal make up. Let me explain part of one of the studies.

The researchers used several photographs of men for their study. They showed the photos to women and asked the women to rate their desirability on a scale of 1-10. The men were rated on looks. None of them were ugly or overweight. There were the average build average face guys and the hunky buff model types. The hunks got the highest scores when there were no other factors given in the equation. Just looks.

The same photos were shown to women for more desirability rankings. In this group there was additional information added. There were fictitious numbers representing the income levels of each man in the photos. The hunky guy who was earning only $23,000.00 per year had his desirability rating plummet. The average guy photos were rated much higher because the women were told that he earned $325,000.00 per year as a software designer.

The only difference in the desirability of each of the men was the income level. This study has been done over and over. The results just show scientifically what most of us have said for years about what women really want.

MONEY GETS YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR! Looking prosperous gets you a second look and maybe a third look. Riding around in a T-shirt and shorts, or just walking around dressed that way because you are traveling by bicycle makes you a stinking average guy who won't get noticed.

If that weren't the case then why do people get dressed up to go out? Appearance matters and to women money is part of a mans appearance. Without the display of financial security a man can easily be passed over. (It doesn't matter if everything is totally financed and the guy is barely making the payments.) The appearance of wealth counts in the eyes of women.

If anyone wants to see how I look just go to my MySpace page and watch some videos.

BarracksSi

If not money, then at least the stability of money and necessities.

I swear that many military wives have a sparkle in their eye that says, "Ah, at least four more years of job security and free health care..."

bicycletothesun

Fixed.

BarracksSi

I won't lie -- that's probably part of it, too.

It just depresses me to hear women say, "Ooh, I want a military man..." They/we are just as moronic as any other guy you'll find on the street. The women, then, are dazzled either by the uniform (superficial) or by the money (golddigger... or, since it's military and we don't make much, "irondigger" ).

bicycletothesun

Same thing with women digging police officers

---- the people who, you know, usually harass the public, use excessive force, taser anyone who moves, arrest innocent marijuana smokers and growers, etc.

Really though: I can kinda see how some areas of the country would be harder to date living car-free than others. Especially car culture California. But places like Portland nobody cares if you have a car or not; plenty of dating people don't. I guess if your romantic life sucks that bad and you're convinced its because you don't have a car, or a super expensive one, then move to a place where people have higher values.

I always laughed at the guy who drove the $50,000 BMW but lived in some shady apartment, ate top ramen, and could barely afford the cable bill --- just so he could look flashy for women.

America is growing fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter with every year that passes. Eventually women will see that the only attractive men are the guys who have been biking years and years: nice legs and arms, flat stomach, great butt. Most drivers I know are at least 10-30 pounds overweight, especially the men. Who wants to have sex with someone like that? A woman should think, "hmmm, he's plump, high blood pressure, and probably has or will soon have problems getting woody up...it must be due to the fact he drives that fancy Lexus all the time instead of working out.." at least thats my hope of women in the near future

brad3104

By looking at ur page it seems like all u care about is looks and money.....

It's true for MOST women they want a guy that is financially stable. And LOTS of women are gold diggers. Instead of taking the easy way out and giving in to certain WANTS....how about people stand for what they really feel themselves and what they really believe in. If being car free and living a simple life is what u want (it is what i want) then search for a woman who can accept this. It might take longer and be harder, but its the right thing to be yourself instead of being fake.

Chris L

It's basically a "get laid fast" trick. It won't work if you're looking for a relationship. That said, most of the posts I've read in this thread come from people who don't appear to be looking for a relationship anyway, so that probably won't matter to them.

It's like this. If you aren't wealthy today, you probably aren't going to suddenly GET wealthy tomorrow. If you're not 6'5" today, you're not likely to GROW another 6 inches tomorrow. On the other hand, you CAN work on your personality. You CAN learn to tell a joke, you CAN practice actually talking to women (even *gasp* women you don't want to have sex with), and you CAN quit whining about how "all women are gold diggers" or whatever. Those things will improve your situation, whatever you feel your market value might be.

And why does this bother you so much exactly? She's an independent person, she can do whatever she likes. This is something else I've noticed among a lot of people in this thread, possessiveness. This idea that a woman should do what you want her to do. Maybe you could work on that.

Let me tell you a story. A few years back when I was unemployed, I used to regularly see absolutely smoking hot girls with their boyfriends in the unemployment office. Now I know for a fact that you don't make huge money by being unemployed in this country (or at least you didn't in those days), so maybe you could tell me what's going on there? Why were unemployed guys able to attract smoking hot women? Maybe it's because they weren't whining about how women only go after rich guys and decided to fix something they could actually control (i.e. their personality and the way they approach women)

As I said before, unless a rich relative dies, you probably aren't going to get dramatically wealthy in the near future. Why not try to fix the things you CAN control rather than the things you can't. And if it doesn't work out, and if you do somehow discover that women ONLY want money? Well, maybe then you really were better off alone.

travelmama

Those same guys like to go to the beach or park to "polish" there cars with the hood, trunk and all doors open. There are guys around who are the same way with their bikes on the weekends. High end bikes and low mileage.

Somewhat odd? This is very typical amongst young people today. The car is a social priority, not a personal one. As much as I am tired of seeing poseur "messengers" on fixed gear bikes around, it is more of a pleasant site than seeing them in a super fly ride that they are struggling to pay.

rockmom

Just so you know, women like to be treated like individuals, not commodities. Personally, I went through quite a string of guys, until I found one with whom I shared common interests and whose personality meshed with mine. Men are not interchangeable cogs, and neither are women.

bicycletothesun

I have another wealthy friend who is very modest about his wealth and goes to great extremes to hide it because he is constantly fearful no woman will love him for who he actually is. That thought drives him nuts all the time. Although he does have a car (15+ yr old Toyota) he actually prefers to take the bus/train with his hybrid bike. He actually met his current girlfriend of two years on the streetcar!

Siu Blue Wind

How about the guys who will only look for women who they think have money?? It goes the other way, too. I'm not saying I've got a loaded purse but I have a couple of decent bikes and because of that people get the misconception that I can afford a lot of things.

Trust me, there have been many times when a guy will hang out with me, say he is a friend yet turn around and give me some sob story about how he doesn't have money yet is too lazy or impatient to keep a job. Then he will flat ask me to buy him things. One guy in particular asked me to buy him a bike like mine!!

The only thing I ever bought him was a drink from Burger King.

mijome07

You're right, it does go both ways. I had one friend who either quit or lost his job, stayed at home, played video games, got high all day, while his wife went to work to provide for everything (house/car(s)/food/bills/etc.). I stopped talking to him 7 years ago.

That was a little off from what you were talking about. So, what kind of bikes do you have?

Siu Blue Wind

So it seems as though she may be enabling him. That's too bad. Hopefully he has gotten his act together and is helping her out.

As for my bikes, they are listed in my profile.