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Thread: Cars and Dating

  1. #1
    gwd
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    Cars and Dating

    Last night I was chatting with a neighbor who said she got rid of this nice guy she was dating for two reasons. "His identity is too tied to his car." "He's too into TV."
    She had a car when she moved onto the block but apparently decided it was too much trouble own one. Now she's car free. There are many car free women in DC but this is the first time I've run across one who explicitly rejected a guy for being too much into car culture. I'm posting this anecdote because it contradicts the fears some people express on this list that without a car a guy can't get a date. Times are changing and some pretty young women don't seem so impressed with cars.

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    put our Heads Together cerewa's Avatar
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    Had a "pretty young woman" say that she was impressed that I almost never use a car or public transit AND will use all the money saved this way to fund literacy education in Haiti and other good causes.

    If only ALL of them thought that was cool...
    Some awesome folks who are working to give Haitians the ability to manage their safety and their lives:
    Haiti Partners

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    Bicycle Lifestyle AsanaCycles's Avatar
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    David Bowie, "I'm afraid of Americans"
    http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/david+b..._20036749.html

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    i live on long island and forget it. the car is the status symbol. if you are like me and use a bike the women consider you a loser.

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    Senior Member Newspaperguy's Avatar
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    I dated someone who was impressed I don't drive much. Most of the time, we walked to where we wanted to go.
    Life is good.

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    Crankenstein bmclaughlin807's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by acorn54 View Post
    i live on long island and forget it. the car is the status symbol. if you are like me and use a bike the women consider you a loser.
    Maybe you need to find a better class of woman?
    "There is no greater wonder than the way the face and character of a woman fit so perfectly in a man's mind, and stay there, and he could never tell you why. It just seems it was the thing he most wanted." Robert Louis Stevenson

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    breasts Samwiches's Avatar
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    In Berkeley a cute fixie can get you laid like a Ferrari in LA.

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    Long Distance Cyclist Machka's Avatar
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    I think it also depends on the impression you create when you ride a bicycle too.

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    Depends. A lot of people boast about being car free then suddenly when they need to pick something up, go to the airport with luggage, need to move something big, etc....then they suddenly call up on their friends with evil cars.

    I've dated girls who only ride bikes, and that's cool with me, but it's extremely limited. It's basically saying "I am going to take care of my own mode of transportation but you're on your own, meet me there."

    Now I'm not saying it isn't good to be self-reliant, but owning and liking cars is not a bad thing like so many people make it out to be.
    I like my bike, and I like my car. And I love to open up the engine and row through the gears. I don't think people should cast somebody aside for liking cars just as they shouldn't cast somebody aside for liking bikes.
    I love cars, car shows and driving fast. I wouldn't like a person judging me for that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr00jimbo View Post
    Depends. A lot of people boast about being car free then suddenly when they need to pick something up, go to the airport with luggage, need to move something big, etc....then they suddenly call up on their friends with evil cars.

    I've dated girls who only ride bikes, and that's cool with me, but it's extremely limited. It's basically saying "I am going to take care of my own mode of transportation but you're on your own, meet me there."
    This is a good point.

    This is what bothers me most about not having a car. I can take care of myself just fine, but not anyone else it seems. It almost feels a little selfish sometimes. If I'm out with friends and we're going lots of places, it's always me riding with them and never driving the other way around. If I were to date someone, she'd probably have to be cyclist herself to understand why I don't have a car. And if she wanted to drive anywhere with me, it'd be her driving and not me (or more precisely her car and not mine, I'd share the driving if she let me). I'd love to go out with someone who also rides; we could ride a tandem everywhere. That would be a blast! But if she didn't ride, it might take some creativity.

    I keep pretty busy with school so for the time being I don't really miss the dating scene all that much, but that could change. I honestly don't think it will be much of a problem, as any relationship worth having will be based on who the people are, and not on whether or not each person has their own car. But if it does turn out to be a problem I can always just get another cheap car, or I'll figure something else out, we'll see.

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    Fresh Garbage hairnet's Avatar
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    I'm just trying to find girls that don't drive a lot because I don't to start driving more just for a girl, plus girls that ride bikes instantly get points over their non bike peers
    Quote Originally Posted by Scrodzilla View Post
    I'd rather ride a greasy bowling ball than one of those things.
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    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samwiches View Post
    In Berkeley a cute fixie can get you laid like a Ferrari in LA.
    Berkeley ladies with such discriminating taste must be real prizes, eh? Pictures?

  13. #13
    put our Heads Together cerewa's Avatar
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    Berkeley ladies with such discriminating taste must be real prizes, eh? Pictures?
    Yeah, I have to say that someone who would sleep with a person just for having a good-looking bike/car/insert-other-object-here might NOT be a good "prize". Or maybe prize, or trophy, is a good way to describe that person.
    Some awesome folks who are working to give Haitians the ability to manage their safety and their lives:
    Haiti Partners

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    Senior Member mijome07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwd View Post
    Times are changing and some pretty young women don't seem so impressed with cars.
    Not the case down here. Though I can care 'less' what chicks here think of me being car-less.

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    There are attractive women that are ok with, or even happy about, a guy that bikes. Personally, I wouldn't date a girl who was not OK with biking somewhere for our first date, so the fact that I don't have a car shouldn't be too much of a problem.

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    Long Distance Cyclist Machka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hairnet View Post
    I'm just trying to find girls that don't drive a lot because I don't to start driving more just for a girl, plus girls that ride bikes instantly get points over their non bike peers
    Join a cycletouring club.


    And here's a hint ... nevermind the car, girls like guys who can cook, clean, and do their own laundry.

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    or just ride a tandem...

    I once saw a guy riding on solo. He then proceed to pick up girls by offering them rides.

  18. #18
    put our Heads Together cerewa's Avatar
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    I once saw a guy riding on solo. He then proceed to pick up girls by offering them rides.
    Lamest pick up line ever -

    "can I pick you up on my tandem?"
    Some awesome folks who are working to give Haitians the ability to manage their safety and their lives:
    Haiti Partners

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    While I agree times are changing I am not sure we can draw any conclusions that things are getting better for cyclists dating wise just because they are cyclists. There have always been a few people that are anti technology and some of them have been attractive people. But when 8 percent of a population considers themselves cyclists that means 92 percent doesn’t and that is a much larger pool of people to draw from looking for a date.

    The second question is how do you escort one of these interesting non car women to a dinner or a show unless you ride around on a tandem all the time? And what degree of privacy does a bike provide while sitting in a park or overlooking a mountain or ocean view in the evening?

    It is always good when people can find other people interested in the same things they are. But having a good friend that is basically car free and seeing how long he has been looking for a woman that is car free tells me the numbers are still against cyclists. They are out there but they are harder to find.

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    Sophomoric Member Roody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Foster View Post
    And what degree of privacy does a bike provide while sitting in a park or overlooking a mountain or ocean view in the evening?
    Better than bucket seats.


    "Think Outside the Cage"

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    put our Heads Together cerewa's Avatar
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    The second question is how do you escort one of these interesting non car women to a dinner or a show unless you ride around on a tandem all the time?
    Here are some possibilities that you may or may not like - depends on the circumstances. I don't have a tandem and figure I may never have one (it costs money to buy, and then you've gotta have a place to keep it!)

    "let's walk together to the ____"
    "let's meet at ____"
    "can i come over to your place and we'll ride the bus to ____ together?"
    Some awesome folks who are working to give Haitians the ability to manage their safety and their lives:
    Haiti Partners

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    Sophomoric Member Roody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cerewa View Post
    Here are some possibilities that you may or may not like - depends on the circumstances. I don't have a tandem and figure I may never have one (it costs money to buy, and then you've gotta have a place to keep it!)

    "let's walk together to the ____"
    "let's meet at ____"
    "can i come over to your place and we'll ride the bus to ____ together
    ?"
    Very good. Being carfree is not weird, abnormal or inferior. I wouldn't want to date somebody who thought it was.



    "Think Outside the Cage"

  23. #23
    gwd
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Foster View Post
    The second question is how do you escort one of these interesting non car women to a dinner or a show unless you ride around on a tandem all the time? And what degree of privacy does a bike provide while sitting in a park or overlooking a mountain or ocean view in the evening?
    Well, we walk, or bike or bus or taxi or subway.

    I've only done a rental tandem once. It was fun because she was a bike racer. A tandem tests your communication and cooperation skills.

    We use a blanket or fold up hammock as substitutes for the back seat boudoir. Its really not a problem.

    A good light hammock is hammock bliss. http://www.hammockbliss.com/.
    I've camped out in them. They're big and strong and with enough material that
    you can fold them over two people doing the wild thing. But they also are light and fold up into a nice little package. A DIY version could be made from parachute cloth and a sturdy rope.

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    Non-Spandex Commuter jdmitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwd View Post
    A good light hammock is hammock bliss. http://www.hammockbliss.com/.
    I've camped out in them. They're big and strong and with enough material that
    you can fold them over two people doing the wild thing. But they also are light and fold up into a nice little package. A DIY version could be made from parachute cloth and a sturdy rope.
    Yeah, there's like a bajillion camping hammocks and DIY designs on the internet now. They're extremely popular with the ultralight backpacking crowd. There were already a ton when I was doing more camping a few years ago.
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitN View Post
    You don't need to dress up like a spandex super hero to ride your bike.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Roody View Post
    Very good. Being carfree is not weird, abnormal or inferior. I wouldn't want to date somebody who thought it was.

    Ideologically you have a good point. Practically it looks a bit different. A minority of a minority trying to hook up takes a lot more luck that when you have a larger pool to pick from. In a car centrist society a anti car person is different and strange. Even in the biking community car free is a minority. So in this sub group of a sub group you have to find someone to date that believes like you do and then finds you attractive as well. That in itself is still a long way from a successful relationship. Then you have to find one that is willing to walk to a date no matter what the weather nor how limited the dating area might be.

    I have been around for more than a few years and I havenít seen any big increase in pretty women that view starting life car free as something they put down as what they want when the grow up and enter the working world. There is always the anti culture but the selection is still less than the majority of society. As most social scientist point out; successful pairing up increases dramatically when you have the largest pool of potential people to connect with. The smaller the pool the less selective you can afford to be.

    The one big advantage a small group has in that the more devoted one is to an idea the more they are willing to overlook other character flaws in other devotees.

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