If your bike could talk, what would it say?
 

"damn I wish this guy would lose a few pounds."

"More oil on the chain please. Fix the cables and put the rear fender back on. Oh, you should wash me more often too." That is what the Raleigh Gruv 2.0 would say. My reply would be, "Soon all will be done."

The Dahon Smooth Hound would say; "When are you going to ride me? It's been a while." My reply would be, "You'll probably be for sale this summer. Someone else will be riding you this year."

"No, go away. I've had it. Not until you wash those shorts."

When are we going to ride? We are all sitting around getting fat and lazy.

Aaron :)

"Don't strap me to that torture device (rack) on the back of that smog machine. It's humiliating!"

^^ this :lol:

"I really want an IGH. Oh, and while you are at it, you should give me a dynamo hub up front too."

"You know what would be REALLY funny? Another flat..."

lol

"I was happy in that guys basement for all those years."

"I was happy in that thrift store. No one else would have ever bothered me."

"I was pretty happy in that shed with the groundhogs and the spiders."

"That old hippy left me alone all those years. Why did you have to mess things up?"

"I was really looking forward to the dump."

"I liked being under all those walmart bikes in that basement. Only you would shift dozens of bikes just to get to where I was."

"Quit your job and ride me around for a few years"

The C&V version...

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread...ike+could+talk

http://www.ravingbikefiend.com/bikep...erstretch1.JPG

What the hell do you mean bout breaking up ?

It's that trailer isn't it ?

And don't think for a moment that I have not noticed that new frame and all those new parts sitting there.

You are asking how much ?

Now I feel cheap.

"A turtle could have bunny hopped that log better than you just did!"

Watch out for that car! Hey, there's broken glass in the road! Pothole! Pothole! Pothole!

The other day my road bike said, "A rough dirt road? I'll show you!"

"I love you too" :love:

http://www.ravingbikefiend.com/bikep...dualdrive6.JPG

I really like going outside when it rains and even when it snows because when it comes to that, I am the best bicycle ever.

Not that I mind the sunshine either... and if you'd like... I could even pull the trailer when you go shopping later and give the little runt a break.

Seriously dude... you've been ignoring me while you flirt with that Italian girl... and that red bar tape makes her look ******.

"Ride me baby, ride me HARD!"

Well, all the other bikes get to go fast.

You,with the ponytail,rub my tube and keep my balls clean.....

"Thanks for the shiny new brake calipers!" -- the 'bent
"Do these panniers make me look fat?" -- the LHT
"When are you gonna clean me?" -- the single-speed
"I'll just hide in the closet." -- the folding bike
"When do I get to go outside again?" -- all of them

Ce n'est pas une montagne. Les Alpes sont des montagnes qui est juste une colline.

Juste une colline? (Just a hill...) You must ride in the Himalayas :)

:lol:It was in three parts. My Bike is French so it would be a bit of a cynic. "Ce n'est pas une montagne." That is not a mountain. Though it should have been a mountain that is not. The second part was the Alps are a mountian. "Les Alpes sont des montagnes" then the cycinical statement. "qui est juste une colline." That is just a hill. I did 3600 feet for lunch with friends Thursday and was thinking of what my bike would say whenever I started to question my decission to do it.:D

Please! No adding some weird contraption to make it some sort of a artificial intelligence. I like my bikes just the way they are.

Seriously? This again? Why don't you get a fs and quit torturing me???

"40, 41, 42. Sucka couldn't hold my wheel, I dropped him like it's HAWT!"

"I know she's got a nice rack, but watch where your going jackass!"

"Why are you wasting money on groceries? I want ROVALS!"

"Fricken rain again, and this is why we can't have nice things."

"How about you carrying me and all this gear all next week, sounds fair to me"

Most bikes seem to be disgruntled. Is it because we're not treating them right or because they have basically dark personalities?