But remember, as you point out, those people come here seeking help in becoming car free, so how do we help them? Do we just pat them on the back and say "suck it up"? Or do we look at ways they and we can work together to remove those barriers, so that ultimately they achieve their goals?
That built infrastructure didn't arise by chance, and it didn't even arise due to the simple choices of many people, although that played a role. It was also socially engineered by powerful forces - real estate developers, construction companies, oil and car companies, who steered us in the directions that would maximize their profit, namely sprawling, car and freeway dependent suburbs. As part of that undertaking, they subverted politicians, manipulated public discourse, and captured tax revenues, to shape the landscape and make it difficult for anybody to function in the modern world without a car.
So if we want to help people who want to live car free, why limit ourselves to telling them what kind of pannier they should use, or how to shame a security guard into letting them carry it into a store? How about we also help them understand and address the political forces that have blocked them from living the way they want to, and engage with them in trying to reverse the damage?