Has opinion, will express
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Originally Posted by tandempower
Don't be presumptuous. A smoker can call a non-smoker 'jaundiced' for giving up smoking but it's a 'smoking-centric' projection. You are also projecting things onto me and looking for explanations that pathologize me because you don't like the differences between us, presumably. Again I ask, why must I be attacked?
So it's a broader ad hom project? Why exactly are you stalking me through the forum?
Stalking you? Goodness gracious. Add paranoia to the list.
By the way, it's ad hominem. If you want to run with the big boys, use their language properly. The fact that you won't reveal much of yourself reduces your credibility to being just a theorist who doesn't have any practical knowledge about the subject they are expounding.
Anyway, back on topic:
One of the things is if you want to hook up with someone who is not a cyclist, make it clear that you are self-sufficient transport-wise, that you aren't looking for free rides everywhere because she might have a car.
In addition, don't under any circumstance think you can make them like cycling even a little bit, let alone as much as you do. Don't have them acquire a bike and think you can go on merry rides around the place because you think that would be good for the relationship (trust me on this one -- I speak from experience... again). Be supportive of her interests, as you would expect her to be of cycling, but ask yourself whether you would want to take up her pursuits.
There is no reason why living car free with concentration on cycling shouldn't work in a relationship. If she perceives she needs a car, that should be fine with you if there are 99 out of 100 others things about her that tick the boxes. After all, you don't have to own the car, or even drive it, do you?
Sometimes I find these conversations interesting. I don't think people go around a night club or pub with "I own a car" emblazoned on their backs. And in the current environment where driving drunk is becoming a significant legal issue (at least in Australia), driving a car might be so much of a liability that many people catch buses, trams or taxis to and from their social gatherings.