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  1. #1
    I need speed AzTallRider's Avatar
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    'Stuff' Coaches Say

    I was on the phone with Ex yesterday, and he had me rolling on the floor when I realized he was using "Coach Speak".

    What Coach said: "Let's keep building that explosiveness"
    What Coach meant: "Let's see if we can get you something recognizeable as a sprint effort"

    Anyone have other good Coach Speak examples?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Allegheny Jet's Avatar
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    confidential infromation that I don't even share with my wife
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    What coach says: "I want to further develop your TT efforts"

    What coach means: "I want you to HTFU on solo efforts"
    Last edited by Allegheny Jet; 01-14-14 at 10:53 AM.
    oldschool areodynamic brick

  3. #3
    Senior Member IBOHUNT's Avatar
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    What coach says: "I think you should focus your efforts at TT. You've had your best results at that discipline."

    What coach means: "You suck at TT the least, you should focus on that."

  4. #4
    Senior Member rumrunn6's Avatar
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    I'm more interested in what context your Ex was speaking ...
    cycling is like baseball ~ it doesn't take much to make it interesting

  5. #5
    Elite Rider Hermes's Avatar
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    I am back training with Dmitry. And the comments are epic, blunt and self explanatory.

    "That wasn't very good". Is that all? Self explanatory.

    "Okay, you can try". It is not going to happen for you but go ahead and try and then we will do it my way.

    Roger Young

    "You looked really good out there". We will not discuss actual results because it is too painful.
    "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Einstein

  6. #6
    Idiot Emeritus sarals's Avatar
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    Coach says "we need to work on you being smoother"

    Coach means "you're a klutz, how do you even walk?"
    Racer Ex..."Don't know if the shop is under new ownership. If not feel free to shoplift stuff and break bottles in his parking lot."

  7. #7
    Senior Member shovelhd's Avatar
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    "That road race is not a 65 mile criterium".
    My 10 speed Shimano sell-off is in the Classifieds-For Sale section.

  8. #8
    I need speed AzTallRider's Avatar
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    Wut? Shovel in a RR?

  9. #9
    Senior Member shovelhd's Avatar
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    I do a few.
    My 10 speed Shimano sell-off is in the Classifieds-For Sale section.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    Whoa, check shovel's post count!
    Regards,
    Chuck

    Demain, on roule!

  11. #11
    Idiot Emeritus sarals's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revchuck View Post
    Whoa, check shovel's post count!
    I hear a slot machine going off somewhere....
    Racer Ex..."Don't know if the shop is under new ownership. If not feel free to shoplift stuff and break bottles in his parking lot."

  12. #12
    Senior Member shovelhd's Avatar
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    Ka-ching.

    How time flies.
    My 10 speed Shimano sell-off is in the Classifieds-For Sale section.

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    Me: "I've still got to swap the 12-30 cassette onto the wheel I'm using for Rouge-Roubaix."

    Coach: "The 18% part of that climb isn't long enough, and you'll need the 16t cog more during the race. Use the 12-27."

    Me:
    Regards,
    Chuck

    Demain, on roule!

  14. #14
    Senior Member shovelhd's Avatar
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    Coach says: "Your power numbers don't add up. Something looks funny."

    Coach means: "If you don't get rid of that POS Quarq I am hopping the next plane to BDL so I can personally embed it in the side of your head, right before I beat $1500 out of you for an SRM".

  15. #15
    Senior Member IBOHUNT's Avatar
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    As I pulled ahead to do my turn at the front pushing for me, my 105% FTP number...

    "Doping today? Two shots of Geritol!"

    No respect for the F.O.G.

  16. #16
    Senior Member
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    Coach says: "You can't come back into cycling from nowhere and expect to win the worlds in six months."

    Coach means: WTF are you thinking to want to win races, after sitting on the couch watching TV and eating pop tarts for the last few years?

  17. #17
    Twilight Requiem AdrianFly's Avatar
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    Coach says, "When the sag truck shows up to fix your bike I want you on the ground doing situps until they've got you set and ready to roll again."


    What Coach really means, "I'm getting sick of watching your knees slapping up against your fat gut."

    The Bearded Fred: Only known cyclist left in the world to be 100% natural and completely free from performance enhancing drugs. Also known for self reliance, amazing talent for satisfying the women and great guitar riffs. Honestly, a full racing kit is absolutely the most ridiculous looking stuff you can wear short of a clown suit."

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