zeo_max

So, as you may have guessed from the topic title, I took a fall on asphalt on my MTB and my penis got rubbed hard against the asphalt because I landed with the front of my body. The accident caused a little skin towards the top of the penis to split and it bled a little. I went to the doctor to have it checked out. He gave me a pill antibiotic, it's been about a week now and everything seems to be working fine. My penis has recovered pretty well. But now, of course, is the psychological damage that such an accident can cause to a man.

I want to do something to protect my penis from this happening again. I was thinking about slipping a pair of socks into my white briefs, so that would serve as a soft barrier against scrapes. It could be some other item, like foam or something.

What do you all think about this type of protection ?

Do you have any other ideas that could work ?

ilmooz

You weren't biking through a nudist colony, were you?

Seriously, this seems to be a rare injury to me. At least I've never heard of it occurring before anyway. I think taking the precaution of padding your shorts is unnecessary overkill, however I'm sure it will help impress the ladies.

CollectiveInk

That must have been some spectacular fall - because you are the first, and only person I've ever heard of to manage to do that. As for all the foam and what not, doubt you'd be comfortable riding that way. You could wear a sports cup, that'll give max protection. But seriously, you weren't riding with your willy hanging out were you?

Panthers007

Get a leather jock-strap. And try to remember to wear your pants the next time you decide to go riding.

https://racy.com/faux-leather-lace-up...ock-black.html

AndrewP

Your legs and belly should give enough protection. Most of my falls have been on my side, although I went over the bars once and injured my shoulder and back. My shins have taken plenty of pain from the pedals.

bengreen79

Fill your pants with Great Stuff foam insulation.

scrublover

This has to be a joke, right? At the very least about the socks? Right? Right?

If serious: Padded bike shorts/baggies. Duh. Tuck things safely away, and try not to land on Chucky and the twins. I always try to land with my crotch on something soft and velvety, but that may just be me.

I can only imagine how uncomfortable it might be to ride around with socks shoved down the front of your shorts. I mean, out at the bars in town is one thing, but when on the bike???

zeo_max

Well I'm surprised you're surprised. You hit a speedbump, loose control, slip you're foot from the pedal, fall foward, and masturbate with the road. Not as funny as I made it sound, believe me, it hurts a lot. And you panic psychologically. I was wearing white briefs and MTB padded shorts. However, that pad doesn't reach all the way to the penis, unfortunately for me. It's the baby maker, I gotta protect it.

ilmooz

"It was a million to one shot, doc. Million to one."

PlatyPius

Why the hell were you wearing briefs with MTB shorts?

Panthers007

The "baby maker?" How quaint and how not men truly regard this piece of the male anatomy.

zeo_max

Haha. What did you wanted me to destroy it ? Thank god I was wearing underwear.

daredevil

My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.

PlatyPius

Are you smelling tr0ll?

Panthers007

No bet. It's destined. Quick! Sell advertising for product-placement in this! Ka-CHING!!

zeo_max

Oh yeah laugh at my pain. You guys must understand. It's the most important part of a man's body. It's well being comes before everything else.

zeo_max

No joke at all. And I do wear padded MTB shorts, but that pad doesn't go all the way up to the penis. And If I tuck it down to the pad, won't that cause pressure against the saddle ?

daredevil

I ain't laughin' man, I feel your pain. It's just that a title like that is hard to resist.

There's only one solution btw and it doesn't work so well on a bike I'd guess, a good ole cup.

Velo Dog

Just tuck it into your sock. Works for me.

scrublover

Rule of life for men: don't sit on your penis.

I'm not going to have a conversation with you about how to tuck your junk out of the way.

Freefallman

Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke. I guess you could probably wear a jock strap that would minimally interfere with your shorts. It'd at least be an extra layer of cloth between you and the sidewalk. Realistically though, what do you think the chances of that happening twice are?

daredevil

so weird it's posted in two different forums...

Louis

So far, you've used the word "penis" 6 times and "masturbate 1 time. You've called your penis a "baby maker", and "the most important part of a man's body".

Are you an 8th grader? Surely you are not an adult.

zeo_max

Yeah sorry about that. I keep saying though, it's not a joke. I just like a lot of replies.

zeo_max

I know the chances are slim, but now I'm gonna be scared when I go out riding.