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  1. #1
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    How to prevent scrapes to the penis on a fall ?

    So, as you may have guessed from the topic title, I took a fall on asphalt on my MTB and my penis got rubbed hard against the asphalt because I landed with the front of my body. The accident caused a little skin towards the top of the penis to split and it bled a little. I went to the doctor to have it checked out. He gave me a pill antibiotic, it's been about a week now and everything seems to be working fine. My penis has recovered pretty well. But now, of course, is the psychological damage that such an accident can cause to a man.

    I want to do something to protect my penis from this happening again. I was thinking about slipping a pair of socks into my white briefs, so that would serve as a soft barrier against scrapes. It could be some other item, like foam or something.

    What do you all think about this type of protection ?

    Do you have any other ideas that could work ?

  2. #2
    Senior Member ilmooz's Avatar
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    You weren't biking through a nudist colony, were you?

    Seriously, this seems to be a rare injury to me. At least I've never heard of it occurring before anyway. I think taking the precaution of padding your shorts is unnecessary overkill, however I'm sure it will help impress the ladies.

  3. #3
    Senior Member CollectiveInk's Avatar
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    That must have been some spectacular fall - because you are the first, and only person I've ever heard of to manage to do that. As for all the foam and what not, doubt you'd be comfortable riding that way. You could wear a sports cup, that'll give max protection. But seriously, you weren't riding with your willy hanging out were you?
    Tim
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  4. #4
    Great State of Varmint Panthers007's Avatar
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    Get a leather jock-strap. And try to remember to wear your pants the next time you decide to go riding.

    http://racy.com/faux-leather-lace-up...ock-black.html
    Last edited by Panthers007; 08-06-09 at 09:29 PM.
    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

  5. #5
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    Your legs and belly should give enough protection. Most of my falls have been on my side, although I went over the bars once and injured my shoulder and back. My shins have taken plenty of pain from the pedals.

  6. #6
    Allez means go. bengreen79's Avatar
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    Fill your pants with Great Stuff foam insulation.

  7. #7
    Te mortuo heres tibi sim? scrublover's Avatar
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    This has to be a joke, right? At the very least about the socks? Right? Right?

    If serious: Padded bike shorts/baggies. Duh. Tuck things safely away, and try not to land on Chucky and the twins. I always try to land with my crotch on something soft and velvety, but that may just be me.

    I can only imagine how uncomfortable it might be to ride around with socks shoved down the front of your shorts. I mean, out at the bars in town is one thing, but when on the bike???
    I believe the clouds in my coffee more than the weatherman on t.v.

  8. #8
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CollectiveInk View Post
    That must have been some spectacular fall - because you are the first, and only person I've ever heard of to manage to do that. As for all the foam and what not, doubt you'd be comfortable riding that way. You could wear a sports cup, that'll give max protection. But seriously, you weren't riding with your willy hanging out were you?
    Well I'm surprised you're surprised. You hit a speedbump, loose control, slip you're foot from the pedal, fall foward, and masturbate with the road. Not as funny as I made it sound, believe me, it hurts a lot. And you panic psychologically. I was wearing white briefs and MTB padded shorts. However, that pad doesn't reach all the way to the penis, unfortunately for me. It's the baby maker, I gotta protect it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ilmooz's Avatar
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    "It was a million to one shot, doc. Million to one."

  10. #10
    Arsehole PlatyPius's Avatar
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    Why the hell were you wearing briefs with MTB shorts?

  11. #11
    Great State of Varmint Panthers007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zeo_max View Post
    However, that pad doesn't reach all the way to the penis, unfortunately for me. It's the baby maker, I gotta protect it.
    The "baby maker?" How quaint and how not men truly regard this piece of the male anatomy.
    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

  12. #12
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PlatyPius View Post
    Why the hell were you wearing briefs with MTB shorts?
    Haha. What did you wanted me to destroy it ? Thank god I was wearing underwear.

  13. #13
    cyclepath daredevil's Avatar
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    My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Without music, life would be a mistake."
    -- Friedrich Nietzsche

  14. #14
    Arsehole PlatyPius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panthers007 View Post
    The "baby maker?" How quaint and how not men truly regard this piece of the male anatomy.
    Are you smelling tr0ll?

  15. #15
    Great State of Varmint Panthers007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daredevil View Post
    My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.
    No bet. It's destined. Quick! Sell advertising for product-placement in this! Ka-CHING!!
    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

  16. #16
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daredevil View Post
    My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.
    Oh yeah laugh at my pain. You guys must understand. It's the most important part of a man's body. It's well being comes before everything else.

  17. #17
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scrublover View Post
    This has to be a joke, right? At the very least about the socks? Right? Right?

    If serious: Padded bike shorts/baggies. Duh. Tuck things safely away, and try not to land on Chucky and the twins. I always try to land with my crotch on something soft and velvety, but that may just be me.

    I can only imagine how uncomfortable it might be to ride around with socks shoved down the front of your shorts. I mean, out at the bars in town is one thing, but when on the bike???
    No joke at all. And I do wear padded MTB shorts, but that pad doesn't go all the way up to the penis. And If I tuck it down to the pad, won't that cause pressure against the saddle ?

  18. #18
    cyclepath daredevil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zeo_max View Post
    Oh yeah laugh at my pain. You guys must understand. It's the most important part of a man's body. It's well being comes before everything else.
    I ain't laughin' man, I feel your pain. It's just that a title like that is hard to resist.

    There's only one solution btw and it doesn't work so well on a bike I'd guess, a good ole cup.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Without music, life would be a mistake."
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  19. #19
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    Just tuck it into your sock. Works for me.

  20. #20
    Te mortuo heres tibi sim? scrublover's Avatar
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    Rule of life for men: don't sit on your penis.

    I'm not going to have a conversation with you about how to tuck your junk out of the way.
    I believe the clouds in my coffee more than the weatherman on t.v.

  21. #21
    Addicted to Dirt Freefallman's Avatar
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    Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke. I guess you could probably wear a jock strap that would minimally interfere with your shorts. It'd at least be an extra layer of cloth between you and the sidewalk. Realistically though, what do you think the chances of that happening twice are?

  22. #22
    cyclepath daredevil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freefallman View Post
    Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke.
    so weird it's posted in two different forums...
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  23. #23
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    So far, you've used the word "penis" 6 times and "masturbate 1 time. You've called your penis a "baby maker", and "the most important part of a man's body".

    Are you an 8th grader? Surely you are not an adult.

  24. #24
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daredevil View Post
    so weird it's posted in two different forums...
    Yeah sorry about that. I keep saying though, it's not a joke. I just like a lot of replies.

  25. #25
    Senior Member zeo_max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freefallman View Post
    Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke. I guess you could probably wear a jock strap that would minimally interfere with your shorts. It'd at least be an extra layer of cloth between you and the sidewalk. Realistically though, what do you think the chances of that happening twice are?
    I know the chances are slim, but now I'm gonna be scared when I go out riding.

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