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Old 01-04-11, 06:28 PM   #1
dminor 
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Should you take a Llama trail riding?

OK here's the deal. I have this llama that does not like to get left behind when I go to have fun. It takes out its frustration in a very goat way - - i.e. - clambering on the roof of every vehicle in the driveway and pooping on it.

Darned thing loves to get on the trails and run though. Llamas and trails . . . I guess it's that old packer instink or somethin. But it's got me to wondering: leash laws are for the doggies and wandering toddlers; and, well, technically a llama is livestock, so I don't see as to where leash laws really apply.

Then again, if I had a leash, it could tow me back to the trail head when I got 5 miles out, no beer left in the fanny pack and I'm just plum tuckered out. But there's another problem too: llamas go where they want - - kinda like deer - - only their poops are more like elk-size pellets. It's a pain to pick 'em all up even with the missus' big wooden chili-stirrin' spoon; and you can kinda kick 'em off the trail like marbles, but you know that when a family with kids comes hikin' along that, well, they look just like big tasty chocklit drops to the tykes and . . . well, you get the idea.

So what do you say? Llama or no llama on the trails?


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Old 01-04-11, 06:40 PM   #2
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No. I don't know your llama, and it might spit on me. How do I know it won't spit? Your llama might be well-behaved, but others llamas are not. Plus, I might have to slow down to let you past, because llamas take up the entire trail. And if you disagree with me, you are a self-absorbed llama-owning *******.

I may be able to be swayed if you still have beer in that fanny pack that you're willing to share though.
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Old 01-04-11, 06:45 PM   #3
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I will never eat chili that you or your wife prepare.
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Old 01-04-11, 06:56 PM   #4
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I vote for no Llama on the trails, as I know – from first hand – that Llamas chase mountain bikers.

In 1992 I went up to Sonora, CA to do some mountain biking with a friend. After spending what seemed to be an eternity grinding up a hill, we round the corner and were facing this…animal.

Me: What’s that?
Friend: A llama.
Me: WTF’s a llama?
Friend: It’s like a camel without the hump.

He then proceeds to pick up a rock

Me: “Do not throw that.”
Friend: “I’m only going to scare it off.”

He throws the rock. It lands about three feet in front of the llama, which takes two steps forward. Seeing this, my friend picks up another rock.

Me: “Do not f***ing throw that!”
Friend: “Shut up, I’m only going to scare him off.”

This time, the rock hits the llama in the chest. Not being one to have any of that, the llama starts running after us. Not wanting to get bit or run over or be the recipient of hot llama love, my friend and I turn tail and start heading down the hill we just worked so hard to go up. After rounding a corner, we happen upon a guy and his dog. The dog chased the llama off.

Dog owner: “Was that llama chasing you?”
Us: “Yes”
Dog owner: Bah hahaha!
Us: “Yes, f*** you very much.”

Naturally, we survived and drank heavily about the whole scene. I, however, did not go mountain biking for 8 years.
The moral: Llamas and mountain biking do not mix.
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Old 01-04-11, 08:03 PM   #5
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How about elephants on trail rides?
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Old 01-04-11, 08:11 PM   #6
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All of the cows and horses I see on my rides aren't on leashes so I think you should be fine.
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Old 01-04-11, 08:30 PM   #7
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Yeah, good idea... in fact i bet you can bring like 3 other llamas with you. Can't just ride with one llama like you doing.
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Old 01-04-11, 08:41 PM   #8
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I didn't want to start another thread, but do you guys think it is ok if i bring my friend Gollum along with us on a trail ride? He is harmless though a bit frantic, rarely bites, but I can't leash him since he makes sad eyes at me. Sometimes he even catches stuff we can eats, like rabbit which we can grill on cryptid's chevy small block.


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Old 01-04-11, 10:41 PM   #9
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All of the cows and horses I see on my rides aren't on leashes so I think you should be fine.
I'm just glad they weren't milling around the middle of Arm Pump the day we rode Sun Peaks
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Old 01-04-11, 10:41 PM   #10
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Somtimes - when my wife is feeling frisky - she takes me for a ride with my leash on. Is that OK?
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Old 01-04-11, 10:45 PM   #11
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^^ As long as it's not smack in the middle of a trail I'm trying to ride on.
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Old 01-04-11, 10:46 PM   #12
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^^If it was - I'm sure your ride would be slightly disrupted.
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Old 01-04-11, 10:48 PM   #13
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How about a dog that is more of a rat(chihuahua) on a trail ride?
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Old 01-04-11, 10:48 PM   #14
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^^If it was - I'm sure your ride would be slightly disrupted.
As long as you get what you want. That's what's important!
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Old 01-04-11, 10:50 PM   #15
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^^ I think it would be a terminal case of too much information.
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Old 01-04-11, 10:53 PM   #16
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As long as you get what you want. That's what's important!
Finally - some words out of you that make sense.
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Old 01-04-11, 10:56 PM   #17
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As long as it is a relatively flat ride, the llama should be OK.
But if there is a lot of climbing, you want an alpaca; They are smaller and lighter.
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Old 01-04-11, 11:47 PM   #18
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How about a dog that is more of a rat(chihuahua) on a trail ride?
THAT'S do-able. Then you could be like John McGowan and the late, great Kookie the Wonder Dog:





John and Kookie were fixtures at District 37 (SoCal) desert races in the early '70s.
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Old 01-05-11, 12:05 AM   #19
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Somtimes - when my wife is feeling frisky - she takes me for a ride with my leash on. Is that OK?
It's ok, just don't let me catch you like the last couple. Such is what happens when your FS ride is stealthy!

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Old 01-05-11, 11:07 AM   #20
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I didn't want to start another thread, but do you guys think it is ok if i bring my friend Gollum along with us on a trail ride? He is harmless though a bit frantic, rarely bites, but I can't leash him since he makes sad eyes at me. Sometimes he even catches stuff we can eats, like rabbit which we can grill on cryptid's chevy small block.

Gollem, no. Smeigel, yes.



I would have to say HELL no to llamas. I love llamas.. but I hate them on the trail. They get in my way ALL the time, every time I'm on the trail. It's like...'oh, minding my own business, riding around BAM there's a ****ing llama! And everybody else hates llamas too. They may never say anything, & they may sometimes even go "Aw, what a cute llama" & proceed to pet it, but they HATE them. Everyone hates llamas except you & other ******bags that bring llamas to trails. Quit being a selfish ******bag & start hating everything.
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Old 01-05-11, 11:21 AM   #21
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Wow, Sam, I thought my reply was angry and hate-filled, but yours takes the cake. Why so resentful?
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Old 01-05-11, 11:55 AM   #22
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^^ Because he hasn't yet found True Enlightment and peace in the presence of the Dali Llama . . .


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Old 01-05-11, 11:56 AM   #23
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Gollem, no. Smeigel, yes.



I would have to say HELL no to llamas. I love llamas.. but I hate them on the trail. They get in my way ALL the time, every time I'm on the trail. It's like...'oh, minding my own business, riding around BAM there's a ****ing llama! And everybody else hates llamas too. They may never say anything, & they may sometimes even go "Aw, what a cute llama" & proceed to pet it, but they HATE them. Everyone hates llamas except you & other ******bags that bring llamas to trails. Quit being a selfish ******bag & start hating everything.
And when you walk away with you cute - ass lama - after passing me on the trail - I will say bad things about you after you leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-05-11, 12:10 PM   #24
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I'm not resentful, I just hate everything. Even my own llama. Which I love. But I hate that mofo on the trail. He stanks & poops & pees all over the place & gets in everyone's way. And scares people. They pet him but I know they're scared. I can see it in their eyes. And if I don't take my llama to the trails, no one should! If anyone does anything that I disagree with or simply wouldn't do myself, they're stupid & I hate them!

HATE HATE HATE
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Old 01-05-11, 05:04 PM   #25
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I will never eat chili that you or your wife prepare.
I thought the very same thing.. CHILI FEED! NOPE! hahaha
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