So, you wanna be a jackass bike shop customer? Follow these simple suggestions:
- Say to an employee "hey, what kind of deal can you give me on these? i can get them online for (insert low cheap price).
- Ask for a discount or free stuff, just because you are you and by golly, you deserve it!
- Start off with "i work in a shop" and then ask for a discount
- Ask a bunch of questions, take up lots of time, then leave without buying anything, not even a damn GU, and get your stuff elsewhere. Make sure you get part numbers so you can order online!
- Get upset when you don't get a discount and threaten to never come back.
- Act like you are gonna buy stuff, put stuff on the counter, ask to use the bathroom, then come out of the bathroom and say "i'll come back for that stuff" and leave. (haha, suckers! you really just wanted to use the bathroom! even though they would have let you, it's more fun to do it this way)
- Treat the bike shop like your personal pit crew. Why should they charge you to get your bike running? Just ask them to give you some free chain lube and to tighten up your headset and maybe straighten out your derailleur. It's not really work, any monkey (except you) can do it. Besides, you are trying to get your personal best on the trail, don't they know that?
These are just some of the things you can do. Be creative, remember, the bike shop is there for your enjoyment, and the employees are all filthy rich (you know bike shops make tons of money, way more than the oil and gas industry) and they deserve to be screwed and taken advantage of, and they owe you. You are a cyclist! You don't think Mercx or Pantani had to pay for their stuff, you don't think Danny Macaskill or Gee Atherton have to pay for their stuff, why should you?