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Old 09-15-08, 11:07 PM   #1
ricebowl
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Waves to wine report/my dad's bout with cancer(long)

I signed up to do this years waves wine pretty early early 2008. Shortly after that my dad was diagnosed with an advanced aggressive cancer in March. I don't know how fatcyclist does it, I really flaked out on my training during the following months. My longest ride was 40 miles with my most frequent being a 20 mile ride to GG park. Even mid-august he was doing well. Shortly after a visit where his doctor commented how healthy he seemed(she was right), his health took a nose dive. Then within the past two weeks his condition worsened more, with frequent trips to the hospital. I was going to cancel the ride but my dad and everyone else told me to do it. In the days leading up to the ride I was constantly evaluating the situation wondering if I should go. He was in the hospital and seemed well enough for me to go...

Night before the ride. Do a once over on my bike, notice the brake cable might be frayed. Loosen the binder bolt, go to retighten the bolt since the cable was just smooshed. The bolt had been stripped by the shop. Right when I find this problem in the evening the hospital informs us that my father is going to be discharged. After I finish getting my dad settled at home, go to put on the new brakes I botch cutting the housing I have to cannibalize the housing off my MTB and rewrap the handlebar. By the time I finish it's 2:30 and I still have to pack almost called it quits right there. But I get it done off to bed at 3:30 and set the alarm for 5:45...

Make it to the ride. Struggled up to Stinson beach, some great views along that route. But doing well until mile 50 then I start feeling it my shoulders are aching, my legs are feeling tired, my love muscle and hammer shorts start to clash with each other. Then I get a flat tire going along a gravely stretch of road. Pull off next to a bunch of oak trees. Take off my rear wheel. As I'm getting set to change the tire, realize I loosened the quick release too much. The quick release nut and spring have fallen somwhere. Start sifting through the acorns, leaves and dirt. Find the nut but not the spring. Lots of riders pass me I dont' bug them when they ask if I need help. Who carries a spare quick release spring? Resign myself to taking a ride to the finish. A car stops and a kind stranger gives me the spring off his bike. I'm back on the road but I've lagged and I'm in danger of taking a SAG ride still. But they allow me to continue, ride marshals escort me to the last rest stop. After a short break I'm off, suffering on the bike can't get comfortable. Thanking God for my brooks seat, that's the one thing that wasn't uncomfortable, my butt. I end up taking a right on bodega ave. instead of a left. End up on a route not the best choice for a bicycling route that takes me ten miles out of the way. Call my friend for directions. Finally make it to the finish very late 85 miles for the day. No time to enjoy my dinner or get my free beers before I have to catch the 7pm shuttle to my hotel. Not feeling that great morale wise or physically, I contemplate canceling the next day's ride. Damn a massage would've been nice. But I enjoy the shrimp shrimp shrimp sizzler special, Sierra Nevada at the hotel and cable tv. Call for my 6:30 am wake up call.

Force myself out on the course at about five minutes before cut off time. Feeling like I might quit. Day is uneventful. My body hasn't recovered my shoulders and legs are sore from the start. But thanks to the excellent rest stop spacing, I'm able to just struggle along on my triple from rest stop to rest stop. Make it to the 75 mile finish. But no time to enjoy the finish gotta eat fast and catch the 5pm to ATT. Once I get to ATT park have a moment of panic as they finish unloading the bike hauler and my bike isn't there. Turns out it's on the very last hauler which is 40 minutes out...

Despite it all loved the ride. Maybe even more than if I had no troubles. I made my own custom 160 mile route. Would've been nice to do the ride with friends. But then again it was great to get away and be by myself on the road. Sometimes I thought about my dad or my friend with MS. But a lot of the time I thought about the ride or just daydreamed.

Get home late due to bike delay and my dad has deteriorated even further. He's been asleep and incoherent all day. Sister informed me he was no longer taking meds. But he seems comfortable enough. My mom and I are primary decision makers, decide to let nature run it's course. But during the night he starts to moan and vomit. We decide to get him to the hospital for comfort early monday morning. Difficult time through the day. But our family is able to gather together and say our goodbyes. My dad passed away peacefully Monday evening.

Wow I can't believe I typed this all out and posting it out on an internet forum. But sometimes it makes you feel better to tell strangers your story. Thanks for listening.

Last edited by ricebowl; 09-16-08 at 08:29 AM.
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Old 09-15-08, 11:15 PM   #2
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Wow, quite the report, ricebowl - sorry for your loss. Lots of humbling tales round these parts lately, obviously we have a lot of special people in NorCal. Congrats on seeing it through, best wishes to your family at this difficult time.
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Old 09-15-08, 11:26 PM   #3
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ricebowl, sorry to hear about your loss.

it was great meeting you on hwy1, nice job on the ride and report.
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Old 09-15-08, 11:54 PM   #4
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So very very sorry for your loss, rb.

And kudos for sticking out the ride under trying circumstances.
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Old 09-15-08, 11:54 PM   #5
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Sorry to hear about your dad but congratulations on completing the ride . My thoughts are with you and your family. Peace.
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Old 09-16-08, 08:14 AM   #6
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Sorry for your loss, my condolences.

Glad you were able to say your goodbyes.
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Old 09-16-08, 08:19 AM   #7
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Sorry about your father but it sounds like he had peace and closure. My best to you and your family.
Good job making through the ride; it'll have special meaning for you I'm sure.
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Old 09-16-08, 09:03 AM   #8
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My condolences, ricebowl.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:44 AM   #9
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Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm glad (is that even the right word?) you got home in time to see him. I know how I was when I lost a parent. It isn't easy.

It was quite a ride, but like you I found it exhausting, and quite a challenge. It was a lot more work then the 100-mile-a-day Seattle to Portland. That was a goodly amount of climbing



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Old 09-16-08, 11:17 AM   #10
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Thanks for the kind thoughts everyone. Curtis I was looking for your fifty jersey but didn't see you, only met Gary the RBR kit was easy to spot. Loved that bridge spot in your second pic.
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Old 09-16-08, 11:20 AM   #11
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I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your father.
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Old 09-16-08, 12:53 PM   #12
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Great story R.B. Human beings are born with a mechanism; for lack of a better word- I call it “Auto-Pilot!” I think it’s one of our greatest assets. It’s the sign of brave soul. To keep forging through that amount of vicissitude and come out stronger and be philosophical to boot is something you should really be proud of. Give yourself a big pat on the back. Sorry you suffered such a great loss…What else can be said? See you on a ride sometime.

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Old 09-16-08, 12:56 PM   #13
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[/QUOTE]

I think I saw this picture in "Cute Couple Monthly"
All I can say is ...GET A Room!
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Old 09-16-08, 05:38 PM   #14
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RB, so sorry to hear about the loss of your father, my condolences.
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Old 09-16-08, 05:52 PM   #15
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Very sorry about your dad. I went through something similar with my dad too a few years ago. Only enough time will heal and soften things for you.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:08 PM   #16
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Wow... quite a ride physically and emotionally for you. Sorry to hear about your father. I have that in common with you. Lost my father to cancer in 1996... I was sleeping in the bed next to my dad in the hospital and for some reason I woke up and saw his last breathe.

My mom's been fighting cancer for several years now. So I continue to ride for her as well.

My prayers go out to your family and to you for having the courage to finish what you started for your dad!

We'll have to go ride sometime soon!

TTYL,
Gary

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Old 09-16-08, 10:29 PM   #17
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I'm sorry for your loss, RB. I'm glad for you that you were able to see him before he died.

And congrats to you on keepin' on, keepin' on. Your journey sounds brutal and difficult. You found what it took to finish, however, and that's no small feat. I hope you can appreciate your accomplishment once the pain from your father's death lessens.

I'll keep a good thought for you and your family.
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Old 09-17-08, 05:59 PM   #18
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Thanks for the kind words everyone! Just been running around making arrangements. Here's a photo from the second day. Since I got lost I didn't make it to the first day photo location, lol. If you recognize me I'm sorry for cutting you off or whatever noobish thing I did by you.
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Old 09-17-08, 07:13 PM   #19
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So that was you that cut me off then fell over in a classic clipless failure?
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Old 09-17-08, 08:00 PM   #20
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So that was you that cut me off then fell over in a classic clipless failure?
WHAT!!!!!

You mean you did that and I didn't get to see it!
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Old 09-17-08, 08:58 PM   #21
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Not me I got my clipless fall out of the way in the 90's. Funniest part of the ride was going from SBC park to Laguna. I was in a pretty big group of riders, seemed like every stoplight on the way claimed a clipless victim.
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Old 09-18-08, 09:34 AM   #22
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I saw a couple of clipless victims at the first rest stop... It's just good to know I'm in good company when these things happen. hehe!
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Old 09-18-08, 05:24 PM   #23
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I saw a couple of clipless victims at the first rest stop...
I didn't push them over, honest!!
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Old 09-18-08, 05:33 PM   #24
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My favorite: Shortly after we started we came to a red light. Lots of folks. A guy who apparently just HAD to be right at the front of the waiting cyclists jetted up and then fell right over.

Other odd scenes: People walking up the first hill. I'll bet they had a long day.
Guys with their seats super low, with their legs doing a major bow outward each pedal stroke. It hurt to watch.

Perhaps best, some guy weaving his way up the hill, using both lanes, cutting off people every few feet, explaining to his riding buddy how this made the hills easier to ride. Maybe fo rhim, but not for anyone passing him.

Over all, not a ton of bad riding. Though I can't figure out people who won't move right on busy roads when there is no need to ride 2 or 3 wide and really piss off the cars.
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Old 09-18-08, 11:42 PM   #25
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I didn't push them over, honest!!
I'll vouch for ya... I didn't see you push anyone over! Especially the ones that were blocking the path by the canopy...
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