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  1. #1
    Senior Member JavaMan's Avatar
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    So what do you think the "King of the Malfunctions" jersey should look like?

    Mrs JavaMan suggested a blue jersey with only one sleeve? Other ideas?
    Last edited by JavaMan; 07-23-05 at 09:02 PM. Reason: typo
    JavaMan!
    Faster than a speeding moped!
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    Able to bunny-hop railroad tracks in a single bound!

  2. #2
    Senior Member wrench_meister's Avatar
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    I was thinking some body armour, esp after the way he went down hard today.

    If it's just a jersey, how about a picture of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey?
    "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." - George Carlin, 1937-2008

  3. #3
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
    Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.

  4. #4
    Senior Member JavaMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zonatandem
    I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
    Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.
    Oh, come on! We all feel for the guy, no need to get defensive.

    I like Kevlar body armor for the material. How about the design?
    JavaMan!
    Faster than a speeding moped!
    More powerful than the Santa Ana winds!
    Able to bunny-hop railroad tracks in a single bound!

  5. #5
    Senior Member wrench_meister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zonatandem
    I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
    Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.


    Hey, hoss, we're just having some good spirited fun! I mean no offense to the man from Denmark. Next year could be his...


    Besides, I've had my fair share of crashes -> I bit it hard on a descent in Austin once. When I came to on the side of the road the most beautiful blonde woman I had ever set my eyes on was standing over me saying over and over again, "That looked like it hurt." It did, but even more so because she saw it. She offered to drive me to the hospital and like an idiot I refused. I rode home wincing in pain.

    To this day my shoulder still hurts whenever the temp dips below 70 degrees F.


    I also went down once in front of my parent's house at the end of the first ride with my new bike some 5 years ago, which was reminiscent of when, on my 10th birthday, I crashed on my first road bike - a four speed Flandria with a down tube shifter. Whenever my brothers and I get together and someone mentions the word bike, they have to tell the story of that birthday crash...


    I've never ridden in anything more organized than the Ride for the Roses, so perhaps I shouldn't be talking smack - but like I said, it's in all good fun and I give mad salutations to anybody that even competes in Le Tour..........
    "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." - George Carlin, 1937-2008

  6. #6
    meb
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    Quote Originally Posted by JavaMan
    Oh, come on! We all feel for the guy, no need to get defensive.

    I like Kevlar body armor for the material. How about the design?

    A jersey dotted with assortments of tools and broken bike parts, a couple flat tires, a square wheel rolling down the hill in front of a bike missing the wheel.

  7. #7
    Senior Member JavaMan's Avatar
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    OK, it's a blue kevlar jersey with one sleeve missing, dotted with graphics of various malfunctions.

    How does one accumulate points for the Blue Jersey?

    Mechanical adjustment by team mechanic while bike is still moving - 1 point
    Mechanical problem that stops the bike - 2 points
    Flat tire or wheel change - 3 points
    Bike change - 4 points
    JavaMan!
    Faster than a speeding moped!
    More powerful than the Santa Ana winds!
    Able to bunny-hop railroad tracks in a single bound!

  8. #8
    Photog Extraordinaire Crack'n'fail's Avatar
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    Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:


  9. #9
    RetroGrouchWrench Rural Roadie's Avatar
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    Need something that represents being given a unsuitable, malfunctioning bike as a replacement.

  10. #10
    Photog Extraordinaire Crack'n'fail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
    Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

    Of course it goes without saying that the zipper is only cosmetic. It doesn't actually function!


  11. #11
    meb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
    Of course it goes without saying that the zipper is only cosmetic. It doesn't actually function!

    Good point. Also, the cosmetic nonfunctional zipper should be stuck way down.

  12. #12
    meb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
    Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

    The early draft looks more like a crash than a malfunction (seperate jersey thread need for malady).

  13. #13
    Has coddling tendencies. KiddSisko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
    Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

    The endover fall image is great, but I rather like the image of him doing a summersault into the ditch. His second of the day, that was a classic fall.

  14. #14
    Photog Extraordinaire Crack'n'fail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meb
    Good point. Also, the cosmetic nonfunctional zipper should be stuck way down.
    Actually, it's very high tech. When the temperatures soar, the zipper closes up, when the temperature plummets or you need aerodynamic efficiency, it opens as wide as possible.

  15. #15
    Photog Extraordinaire Crack'n'fail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meb
    The early draft looks more like a crash than a malfunction (seperate jersey thread need for malady).
    Maybe this is more fitting?


  16. #16
    2-Cyl, 1/2 HP @ 90 RPM slvoid's Avatar
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    That wheel isn't taco'ed enough. I want a REAL taco.

  17. #17
    Photog Extraordinaire Crack'n'fail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slvoid
    That wheel isn't taco'ed enough. I want a REAL taco.
    Is that better?


  18. #18
    meb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
    Is that better?

    Yep!

  19. #19
    Go Titans!! sunninho's Avatar
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    OMG, you guys are sick
    One must live the way one thinks or end up thinking the way one has lived.
    --Paul Bourget

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by JavaMan
    OK, it's a blue kevlar jersey with one sleeve missing, dotted with graphics of various malfunctions.

    How does one accumulate points for the Blue Jersey?

    Mechanical adjustment by team mechanic while bike is still moving - 1 point
    Mechanical problem that stops the bike - 2 points
    Flat tire or wheel change - 3 points
    Bike change - 4 points
    so how many pts would he have gotten on that time trial? at least 17? that definatly would of clinched the jersey for him.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by KiddSisko
    The endover fall image is great, but I rather like the image of him doing a summersault into the ditch. His second of the day, that was a classic fall.
    I thought when he had his left leg out before the fall was even funnier. Felt bad for him but it still was pretty funny.

  22. #22
    Senior Member squeegy200's Avatar
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    Last edited by squeegy200; 07-25-05 at 02:53 PM.

  23. #23
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    I was on the Colnago site and in their "News" forum they were building up a head of steam with Tour reports on the early success of Rasmussen. Then there is just silence after the meltdown - not a word.


    http://www.colnagonews.com/news/example2.php

  24. #24
    Photog Extraordinaire Crack'n'fail's Avatar
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    All kidding aside. This poor guy won a stage, won the KOM, finished in the top 10 at the Tour and right now he seems to be most noted for his "meltdown."

  25. #25
    powered by Racer Ex gsteinb's Avatar
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    well it was THE meltdown of all time. two crashes and 4 bike changes in a dry TT is pretty out of the ordinary. And don't hold a top 10 up there like it's champagne popping time...the guy should have been on the podium. That said, he rode a great race and considering he's a former ATB world champ the guy has got one hell of a motor.

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