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Old 07-23-05, 09:01 PM   #1
JavaMan
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So what do you think the "King of the Malfunctions" jersey should look like?

Mrs JavaMan suggested a blue jersey with only one sleeve? Other ideas?

Last edited by JavaMan; 07-23-05 at 09:02 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 07-23-05, 09:10 PM   #2
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I was thinking some body armour, esp after the way he went down hard today.

If it's just a jersey, how about a picture of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey?
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Old 07-23-05, 09:12 PM   #3
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I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.
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Old 07-23-05, 09:23 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonatandem
I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.
Oh, come on! We all feel for the guy, no need to get defensive.

I like Kevlar body armor for the material. How about the design?
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Old 07-23-05, 09:28 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by zonatandem
I suppose you could teach Razz a thing or two? Polka dots will just look great on the Dane!
Remember Lance dropped out of his first TdF . . . Razz did not.


Hey, hoss, we're just having some good spirited fun! I mean no offense to the man from Denmark. Next year could be his...


Besides, I've had my fair share of crashes -> I bit it hard on a descent in Austin once. When I came to on the side of the road the most beautiful blonde woman I had ever set my eyes on was standing over me saying over and over again, "That looked like it hurt." It did, but even more so because she saw it. She offered to drive me to the hospital and like an idiot I refused. I rode home wincing in pain.

To this day my shoulder still hurts whenever the temp dips below 70 degrees F.


I also went down once in front of my parent's house at the end of the first ride with my new bike some 5 years ago, which was reminiscent of when, on my 10th birthday, I crashed on my first road bike - a four speed Flandria with a down tube shifter. Whenever my brothers and I get together and someone mentions the word bike, they have to tell the story of that birthday crash...


I've never ridden in anything more organized than the Ride for the Roses, so perhaps I shouldn't be talking smack - but like I said, it's in all good fun and I give mad salutations to anybody that even competes in Le Tour..........
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Old 07-23-05, 10:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JavaMan
Oh, come on! We all feel for the guy, no need to get defensive.

I like Kevlar body armor for the material. How about the design?

A jersey dotted with assortments of tools and broken bike parts, a couple flat tires, a square wheel rolling down the hill in front of a bike missing the wheel.
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Old 07-23-05, 10:31 PM   #7
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OK, it's a blue kevlar jersey with one sleeve missing, dotted with graphics of various malfunctions.

How does one accumulate points for the Blue Jersey?

Mechanical adjustment by team mechanic while bike is still moving - 1 point
Mechanical problem that stops the bike - 2 points
Flat tire or wheel change - 3 points
Bike change - 4 points
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Old 07-24-05, 08:26 AM   #8
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Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

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Old 07-24-05, 08:50 AM   #9
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Need something that represents being given a unsuitable, malfunctioning bike as a replacement.
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Old 07-24-05, 08:52 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

Of course it goes without saying that the zipper is only cosmetic. It doesn't actually function!

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Old 07-24-05, 10:13 AM   #11
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Of course it goes without saying that the zipper is only cosmetic. It doesn't actually function!

Good point. Also, the cosmetic nonfunctional zipper should be stuck way down.
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Old 07-24-05, 10:15 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

The early draft looks more like a crash than a malfunction (seperate jersey thread need for malady).
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Old 07-24-05, 10:30 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crack'n'fail
Allright, it's not as fancy as all the descriptions so far, but the Tour would have been over by the time I designed that, so here's a rough mock up for one:

The endover fall image is great, but I rather like the image of him doing a summersault into the ditch. His second of the day, that was a classic fall.
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Old 07-24-05, 02:14 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meb
Good point. Also, the cosmetic nonfunctional zipper should be stuck way down.
Actually, it's very high tech. When the temperatures soar, the zipper closes up, when the temperature plummets or you need aerodynamic efficiency, it opens as wide as possible.
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Old 07-24-05, 02:54 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meb
The early draft looks more like a crash than a malfunction (seperate jersey thread need for malady).
Maybe this is more fitting?

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Old 07-24-05, 02:56 PM   #16
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That wheel isn't taco'ed enough. I want a REAL taco.
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Old 07-24-05, 03:10 PM   #17
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That wheel isn't taco'ed enough. I want a REAL taco.
Is that better?

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Old 07-25-05, 12:38 AM   #18
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Is that better?

Yep!
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Old 07-25-05, 12:49 AM   #19
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OMG, you guys are sick
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Old 07-25-05, 11:36 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JavaMan
OK, it's a blue kevlar jersey with one sleeve missing, dotted with graphics of various malfunctions.

How does one accumulate points for the Blue Jersey?

Mechanical adjustment by team mechanic while bike is still moving - 1 point
Mechanical problem that stops the bike - 2 points
Flat tire or wheel change - 3 points
Bike change - 4 points
so how many pts would he have gotten on that time trial? at least 17? that definatly would of clinched the jersey for him.
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Old 07-25-05, 11:47 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddSisko
The endover fall image is great, but I rather like the image of him doing a summersault into the ditch. His second of the day, that was a classic fall.
I thought when he had his left leg out before the fall was even funnier. Felt bad for him but it still was pretty funny.
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Old 07-25-05, 02:42 PM   #22
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Curse of Saint-Etienne?

Last edited by squeegy200; 07-25-05 at 02:53 PM.
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Old 07-27-05, 02:56 AM   #23
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I was on the Colnago site and in their "News" forum they were building up a head of steam with Tour reports on the early success of Rasmussen. Then there is just silence after the meltdown - not a word.


http://www.colnagonews.com/news/example2.php
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Old 07-27-05, 09:41 AM   #24
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All kidding aside. This poor guy won a stage, won the KOM, finished in the top 10 at the Tour and right now he seems to be most noted for his "meltdown."
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Old 07-27-05, 05:01 PM   #25
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well it was THE meltdown of all time. two crashes and 4 bike changes in a dry TT is pretty out of the ordinary. And don't hold a top 10 up there like it's champagne popping time...the guy should have been on the podium. That said, he rode a great race and considering he's a former ATB world champ the guy has got one hell of a motor.
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