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Old 07-05-04, 09:29 AM   #1
mntbikedude
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Next week my 18 year old son and I will head down the west coast starting in Victoria BC on our bikes. This fall he heads back to college and it got me thinking back to when he was five. I had just come back from a week of being gone on business and he looked up at me and said,"dad we need to spend much more time together". Well those simple words struck my deep inside and since that time I made some changes.

I refocused my own career and put my family at the top of the list. Yes that meant I missed a lot of opportunities to advance my business, however looking back over the years since I wouldn't trade the adventures that I have had with my children for anything.

With this son we have camped out over 200 times, biked the 400 mile oregon coast, snorkeled the Caribbean, hiked everywhere from the depths of death valley to the top of the world trade center. Literally too many adventures to list. One of my favorite Christmas gifts was when this son presented me with a scrap book titled Dad and Jakes most excellent adventures.

Now as we start what could be one of our greatest adventures and perhaps our last,and as
he heads into adulthood my thought is to ask my son. Well did we spend enough time? For me I have made a lot of dumb choices in my life,but I have never regretted the time I have spent with my children. I will always be grateful that this wonderful son looked into my soul and said, Dad we need to spend much more time together.


MBD

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Old 07-06-04, 04:51 AM   #2
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Spending time with your kids can be priceless. Both of mine are grown. My son, the youngest and the family computer geek has just started riding an MTB for fittness (he really wants a 'bent). My daughter has been into horses since she was little. So in the evenings I ride with my son and on the weekends I show horses with my daughter. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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Old 07-06-04, 04:57 AM   #3
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You can never spend too much quality time with your children.
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Old 07-06-04, 06:57 AM   #4
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Thanks for the encouragement. I have an almost-7 (10 days short of) year old daughter and while I generally do spend time with her ... you have encouraged me to hang in there when the going gets tough. And, of course to take on many bike adventures.

Thanks for sharing your experience!
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Old 07-06-04, 07:49 AM   #5
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My biggest fear will be the answer, "No!".

I write this with a pain in my heart and a tear in my eye.

My wife and I are divorcing and my 4 year old son is the innocent victim.

I don't see him enough (to my satisfaction anyways. Every day wouldn't be enough).

I fear that another man (her boyfriend) will replace me. I know that no one will replace me as his father, but days like today, I feel more like an Uncle to him than a Father as my wife prohibits any extra time with him.

I envy you.....now I am sad again.
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Old 07-06-04, 08:42 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hubs
Thanks for the encouragement. I have an almost-7 (10 days short of) year old daughter and while I generally do spend time with her ... you have encouraged me to hang in there when the going gets tough. And, of course to take on many bike adventures.

Thanks for sharing your experience!
7 to 12 is a magical age, right now you are a super hero but all to soon she will see that you are a mere mortal. I kind of learned the hard way with my oldest daughter now 20. She and I had a favorite bike ride, but way to many times she would ask and I would say I'm to tired. Then one day she stopped asking, I think it was around 12 so I asked her. She answered something to the effect of its too late Dad I don't want to ride anymore. Ouch

MBD
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Old 07-06-04, 08:51 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a2psyklnut
My biggest fear will be the answer, "No!".

I write this with a pain in my heart and a tear in my eye.

My wife and I are divorcing and my 4 year old son is the innocent victim.

I don't see him enough (to my satisfaction anyways. Every day wouldn't be enough).

I fear that another man (her boyfriend) will replace me. I know that no one will replace me as his father, but days like today, I feel more like an Uncle to him than a Father as my wife prohibits any extra time with him.

I envy you.....now I am sad again.

Man I just don't know what to say, other than I can't imagine anything more painful. Hang in there and I sure hope you ex realizes how important a relationship is with your son and his real father,

It makes me appreciate my wife for helping me to have these adventures with our kids. She is always there in the background helping it to happen. For example she will be driving 800 miles to pick us up at the end of our latest adventure. Which reminds me I need to do more for her.

MBD
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