Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 32
  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Californi
    My Bikes
    83 Univega Sportour, 80's kuwahara Advemturer T.K. Tandem 2011 Rodriguez Ranier road bike. All steel bikes.
    Posts
    95
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    What to do if she won't ride. Seek Female with similar riding interests

    I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?
    Last edited by aprieto28; 05-13-14 at 06:06 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    My Bikes
    ariZona carbon fiber tandem & single
    Posts
    10,074
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Talk to her about it . . . don't ask us!
    We've only been married 59 years. Been riding tandem since 1975.

  3. #3
    Senior Member mulveyr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    In the wilds of NY
    My Bikes
    Box Dog Pelican, Raleigh Sojourn, Specialized Secteur, 1991 Cannondale tandem
    Posts
    1,272
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by aprieto28 View Post
    I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?
    Nope. My best friend besides my wife is female. Nothing at all wrong with having an opposite-gender activity buddy. Heck, sometimes it's preferable if you want to just ride recreationally and not deal with potential competitiveness.
    Knows the weight of my bike to the nearest 10 pounds.

  4. #4
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    La Petite Roche
    Posts
    12,313
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by aprieto28 View Post
    I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wrong to seek female with similar riding interests?
    Not wrong, but then your wife may not agree. It is playing with fire.
    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

    Quote Originally Posted by Bjforrestal View Post
    I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.

  5. #5
    aka Phil Jungels Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    North Aurora, IL
    My Bikes
    Specialized Crosstrail, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,769
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Neither my wife, nor my girlfriend , like to ride. Good thing I have a buddy that likes to ride....................... LOL

    On the other hand, I did see a really cute lil Filipina at the dentist' office yesterday..........
    Last edited by Wanderer; 05-14-14 at 06:25 AM.

    "Retirement is the best job I ever had!" Me, 2009


    Specialized Crosstrail Sport - '08
    Nishiki Sport - misappropriated from my youngest son (circa 1984)
    Marin Stinson - misappropriated by my youngest grandson - '01
    "The Beast" - 1990 Schwinn Airdyne (in the basement for winter torture)

  6. #6
    The Recumbent Quant cplager's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Norwalk, CT
    My Bikes
    2012 Cruzbike Sofrider, 2013 Cruzigami Mantis
    Posts
    2,893
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by aprieto28 View Post
    Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?
    I don't see this ending well for you.

    If you were looking for someone with which to ride and they turned out to be female, then that's probably fine (although even here you wife might disagree).

    But looking for another woman (with which to ride)?

    Maybe make sure said other woman's also a good divorce lawyer? Two birds, one stone.
    http://Charles.Plager.net
    http://RecumbentQuant.blogspot.com

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Sin City, Nevada
    My Bikes
    Catrike 700, Greenspeed GTO trike, Wizwheelz 3.4 trike, Linear LWB recumbent, Haluzak Horizon SWB recumbent, Balance 450 MTB
    Posts
    810
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Think like the parent of a teenager. Group riding brinks a sense of safety but solo riding maybe not so much.
    It is OK if you are part of a group of riders but solo riding is asking for trouble with your wife.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Waterloo, ON
    My Bikes
    Surly Krampus
    Posts
    276
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    This biking thing is a red herring. You're not looking for an activity partner, you're looking for a woman. And you're doing it because you feel a distance in your own marriage that you can't close. If you genuinely want this problem solved, then drop the pretenses and talk to your wife about seeing a marriage counsellor.

  9. #9
    Senior Member trailangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Pasadena, CA
    My Bikes
    SOMA ES, MEDICI PRO STRADA, JAMIS CODA COMP
    Posts
    202
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Ya, I found a nice looking female to ride with... just about 10 years younger than I am. and pretty well matched. And she smells good too!
    And then... I woke up.

  10. #10
    Uber Goober StephenH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Dallas area, Texas
    Posts
    10,655
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    My wife wasn't interested in riding or much of anything else I was interested, and I didn't want to spend my days sitting around the house watching TV. Anyway, I didn't go looking for a woman to ride with, but did happen to stumble across a couple in the local long-distance group. So my current stoker and I have about 14,000 miles on the tandem in the last two years. It's not a romantic relationship, but works out well for both of us. Just takes the right people.
    "be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."

  11. #11
    coprolite fietsbob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    NW,Oregon Coast
    My Bikes
    7
    Posts
    2,579
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I should have owned a tandem and had a 'space available' sign put on the back ..

  12. #12
    Uber Goober StephenH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Dallas area, Texas
    Posts
    10,655
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by fietsbob View Post
    I should have owned a tandem and had a 'space available' sign put on the back ..

    I've heard of that being done. Probably helps the less creepy you are, and I think the occasions I heard of it being done were at fairly large bike club rides, but the participants were not entirely strangers to each other, too. I've also heard of guys having a box full of different types of pedals and a little black book of bike adjustments for various stokers. However, I think it works best if it's kind of a regular thing where you know each other's quirks. Among the women I know that have been bicycling for a good many years, the majority of them have stoked a tandem at one time or another.
    "be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."

  13. #13
    coprolite fietsbob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    NW,Oregon Coast
    My Bikes
    7
    Posts
    2,579
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Would have been better 37 years ago .. my 30s ..

  14. #14
    Senior Member MRT2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    2012 Salsa Casseroll, 1997 Bianchi Advantage, 1994 Trek 930.
    Posts
    2,246
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Forget about looking for women to ride with. That just sounds like trouble. Sell the tandem and ride solo, or join a cycling club. I am sure you will find some (male) riding buddies eventually.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mr,grumpy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Boston Burbs
    My Bikes
    Diamondback Sorrento, 1978(ish) Peugeot PRN10e
    Posts
    721
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by mulveyr View Post
    an opposite-gender activity buddy.
    I wouldn't mind having the little red-head try-athalete that dropped me like wet soap on the MUP as an activity buddy.

    OP-Dude, there area billion dudes and groups to ride with. You a dope for even asking this question.
    "I'm built like a marine mammal. I love the cold! "-Cosmoline
    "MTBing is cheap compared to any motorsport I've done. It's very expensive compared to jogging."-ColinL
    Rides:
    1999-ish Diamondback Sorrento (I'm not Dead Yet! I feal happy. I think I'll go for a walk!)
    1980ish Raleigh Marathon (Vintage Steel)
    2007 Gary Fisher Advance (giving the Sorrento a break)
    2006 Trek 820 (Captain Amazing)
    2010 Specialized Tricross (Back in Black)


    My little bike blog.

  16. #16
    Senior Member eja_ bottecchia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,406
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Artkansas View Post
    Not wrong, but then your wife may not agree. It is playing with fire.

    He who plays with fire risks big alimony payments!
    My current stable:

    1989 SLX Bottecchia (Campy Athena 11s)
    1999 Cannondale F400 mountain bike
    2012 Bianchi Infinito (Campy Record 11s)
    2012 Colnago C59 in PR99 color scheme (Campy Record 11s)

  17. #17
    Senior Member eja_ bottecchia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,406
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Wanderer View Post
    Neither my wife, nor my girlfriend , like to ride. Good thing I have a buddy that likes to ride....................... LOL

    On the other hand, I did see a really cute lil Filipina at the dentist' office yesterday..........
    Cute little Filipina girls can be big trouble....
    My current stable:

    1989 SLX Bottecchia (Campy Athena 11s)
    1999 Cannondale F400 mountain bike
    2012 Bianchi Infinito (Campy Record 11s)
    2012 Colnago C59 in PR99 color scheme (Campy Record 11s)

  18. #18
    Senior Member eja_ bottecchia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,406
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by El Cid View Post
    This biking thing is a red herring. You're not looking for an activity partner, you're looking for a woman. And you're doing it because you feel a distance in your own marriage that you can't close. If you genuinely want this problem solved, then drop the pretenses and talk to your wife about seeing a marriage counsellor.

    Excellent advice. Specifically seeking a female riding partner is simply masking deeper issues.

    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!
    My current stable:

    1989 SLX Bottecchia (Campy Athena 11s)
    1999 Cannondale F400 mountain bike
    2012 Bianchi Infinito (Campy Record 11s)
    2012 Colnago C59 in PR99 color scheme (Campy Record 11s)

  19. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,515
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It's OK if the other woman brings her husband along ..

  20. #20
    aka Phil Jungels Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    North Aurora, IL
    My Bikes
    Specialized Crosstrail, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,769
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by eja_ bottecchia View Post
    Cute little Filipina girls can be big trouble....
    Yeah, but she was a little doll! If she as 45 years older, I might take a chance................

    On the plus side, I think I will schedule quarterly teeth cleanings......................... and look into any other services.

    "Retirement is the best job I ever had!" Me, 2009


    Specialized Crosstrail Sport - '08
    Nishiki Sport - misappropriated from my youngest son (circa 1984)
    Marin Stinson - misappropriated by my youngest grandson - '01
    "The Beast" - 1990 Schwinn Airdyne (in the basement for winter torture)

  21. #21
    Senior Member eja_ bottecchia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,406
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Wanderer View Post
    Yeah, but she was a little doll! If she as 45 years older, I might take a chance................

    On the plus side, I think I will schedule quarterly teeth cleanings......................... and look into any other services.
    want to spend more time with her?

    Eat a bag of Oreo cookies while waiting to be called. She will have to cancel all her appointments for the day!
    My current stable:

    1989 SLX Bottecchia (Campy Athena 11s)
    1999 Cannondale F400 mountain bike
    2012 Bianchi Infinito (Campy Record 11s)
    2012 Colnago C59 in PR99 color scheme (Campy Record 11s)

  22. #22
    Senior Member Keith99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    5,804
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by mulveyr View Post
    Nope. My best friend besides my wife is female. Nothing at all wrong with having an opposite-gender activity buddy. Heck, sometimes it's preferable if you want to just ride recreationally and not deal with potential competitiveness.
    There is a difference between having a riding buddy of the opposite gender and specifically looking for a riding buddy of the opposite gender.

    And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.
    Perish any man who suspects that these men either did or suffered anything unseemly.

  23. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    My Bikes
    Old ones.
    Posts
    272
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Keith99 View Post
    There is a difference between having a riding buddy of the opposite gender and specifically looking for a riding buddy of the opposite gender.

    And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.
    I think this is spot on.

  24. #24
    Senior Member trailangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Pasadena, CA
    My Bikes
    SOMA ES, MEDICI PRO STRADA, JAMIS CODA COMP
    Posts
    202
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Switch teams!

  25. #25
    Senior Member rumrunn6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    25 miles northwest of Boston
    My Bikes
    Bottecchia Sprint
    Posts
    12,363
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I believe it's called a "surrogate"
    cycling is like baseball ~ it doesn't take much to make it interesting

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •