What to do if she won't ride. Seek Female with similar riding interests
05-13-14, 04:58 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
What to do if she won't ride. Seek Female with similar riding interests
I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?
Last edited by aprieto28; 05-13-14 at 05:06 PM.
05-13-14, 05:02 PM
#2
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 11,016
Bikes: Custom Zona c/f tandem + Scott Plasma single
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 77 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 19 Times
in
11 Posts
Talk to her about it . . . don't ask us!
We've only been married 59 years. Been riding tandem since 1975.
We've only been married 59 years. Been riding tandem since 1975.
05-13-14, 06:05 PM
#3
Senior Member
Nope. My best friend besides my wife is female. Nothing at all wrong with having an opposite-gender activity buddy. Heck, sometimes it's preferable if you want to just ride recreationally and not deal with potential competitiveness.
__________________
Knows the weight of my bike to the nearest 10 pounds.
Knows the weight of my bike to the nearest 10 pounds.
05-13-14, 08:01 PM
#4
Pedaled too far.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: La Petite Roche
Posts: 12,851
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 7 Times
in
7 Posts
Not wrong, but then your wife may not agree. It is playing with fire.
__________________
"He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London
05-14-14, 05:21 AM
#5
aka Phil Jungels
Neither my wife, nor my girlfriend , like to ride. Good thing I have a buddy that likes to ride....................... LOL
On the other hand, I did see a really cute lil Filipina at the dentist' office yesterday..........
On the other hand, I did see a really cute lil Filipina at the dentist' office yesterday..........
Last edited by Wanderer; 05-14-14 at 05:25 AM.
05-14-14, 05:38 AM
#6
The Recumbent Quant
I don't see this ending well for you.
If you were looking for someone with which to ride and they turned out to be female, then that's probably fine (although even here you wife might disagree).
But looking for another woman (with which to ride)?
Maybe make sure said other woman's also a good divorce lawyer? Two birds, one stone.
If you were looking for someone with which to ride and they turned out to be female, then that's probably fine (although even here you wife might disagree).
But looking for another woman (with which to ride)?
Maybe make sure said other woman's also a good divorce lawyer? Two birds, one stone.
05-14-14, 08:36 AM
#7
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sin City, Nevada
Posts: 2,886
Bikes: Catrike 700, Greenspeed GTO trike, , Linear LWB recumbent, Haluzak Horizon SWB recumbent, Balance 450 MTB, Cannondale SM800 Beast of the East
Mentioned: 19 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 523 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 229 Times
in
181 Posts
Think like the parent of a teenager. Group riding brinks a sense of safety but solo riding maybe not so much.
It is OK if you are part of a group of riders but solo riding is asking for trouble with your wife.
It is OK if you are part of a group of riders but solo riding is asking for trouble with your wife.
05-15-14, 10:30 AM
#8
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Waterloo, ON
Posts: 431
Bikes: Surly Krampus
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
This biking thing is a red herring. You're not looking for an activity partner, you're looking for a woman. And you're doing it because you feel a distance in your own marriage that you can't close. If you genuinely want this problem solved, then drop the pretenses and talk to your wife about seeing a marriage counsellor.
05-15-14, 11:54 AM
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 4,848
Bikes: Schwinn Varsity
Mentioned: 22 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1931 Post(s)
Liked 742 Times
in
422 Posts
Ya, I found a nice looking female to ride with... just about 10 years younger than I am. and pretty well matched. And she smells good too!
And then... I woke up.
And then... I woke up.
05-18-14, 08:25 AM
#10
Uber Goober
My wife wasn't interested in riding or much of anything else I was interested, and I didn't want to spend my days sitting around the house watching TV. Anyway, I didn't go looking for a woman to ride with, but did happen to stumble across a couple in the local long-distance group. So my current stoker and I have about 14,000 miles on the tandem in the last two years. It's not a romantic relationship, but works out well for both of us. Just takes the right people.
__________________
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
05-18-14, 11:51 AM
#12
Uber Goober
I've heard of that being done. Probably helps the less creepy you are, and I think the occasions I heard of it being done were at fairly large bike club rides, but the participants were not entirely strangers to each other, too. I've also heard of guys having a box full of different types of pedals and a little black book of bike adjustments for various stokers. However, I think it works best if it's kind of a regular thing where you know each other's quirks. Among the women I know that have been bicycling for a good many years, the majority of them have stoked a tandem at one time or another.
__________________
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
05-18-14, 03:21 PM
#14
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,319
Bikes: 2012 Salsa Casseroll, 2009 Kona Blast
Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1031 Post(s)
Liked 208 Times
in
146 Posts
Forget about looking for women to ride with. That just sounds like trouble. Sell the tandem and ride solo, or join a cycling club. I am sure you will find some (male) riding buddies eventually.
05-26-14, 06:33 AM
#15
Senior Member
I wouldn't mind having the little red-head try-athalete that dropped me like wet soap on the MUP as an activity buddy.
OP-Dude, there area billion dudes and groups to ride with. You a dope for even asking this question.
OP-Dude, there area billion dudes and groups to ride with. You a dope for even asking this question.
__________________
2023 Salsa Journeyer
2023 Rad Rover 6
1980ish Raleigh Marathon (Vintage Steel)
2006 Trek 820 (Captain Amazing) RIP
2010 Specialized Tricross (Back in Black)
2008 Specialized Roubaix RIP
"I'm built like a marine mammal. I love the cold! "-Cosmoline
"MTBing is cheap compared to any motorsport I've done. It's very expensive compared to jogging."-ColinL
Rides:2023 Salsa Journeyer
2023 Rad Rover 6
1980ish Raleigh Marathon (Vintage Steel)
2006 Trek 820 (Captain Amazing) RIP
2010 Specialized Tricross (Back in Black)
2008 Specialized Roubaix RIP
05-26-14, 06:53 AM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 5,791
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1020 Post(s)
Liked 463 Times
in
293 Posts
This biking thing is a red herring. You're not looking for an activity partner, you're looking for a woman. And you're doing it because you feel a distance in your own marriage that you can't close. If you genuinely want this problem solved, then drop the pretenses and talk to your wife about seeing a marriage counsellor.
Excellent advice. Specifically seeking a female riding partner is simply masking deeper issues.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!
05-27-14, 05:36 AM
#20
aka Phil Jungels
Yeah, but she was a little doll! If she as 45 years older, I might take a chance................
On the plus side, I think I will schedule quarterly teeth cleanings......................... and look into any other services.
On the plus side, I think I will schedule quarterly teeth cleanings......................... and look into any other services.
05-27-14, 06:17 AM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 5,791
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1020 Post(s)
Liked 463 Times
in
293 Posts
Eat a bag of Oreo cookies while waiting to be called. She will have to cancel all her appointments for the day!
05-27-14, 09:30 AM
#22
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 5,866
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times
in
2 Posts
And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.
05-27-14, 09:45 AM
#23
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 297
Bikes: Old ones.
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
There is a difference between having a riding buddy of the opposite gender and specifically looking for a riding buddy of the opposite gender.
And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.
And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.
07-16-14, 12:30 PM
#25
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 25 miles northwest of Boston
Posts: 29,552
Bikes: Bottecchia Sprint, GT Timberline 29r, Marin Muirwoods 29er, Trek FX Alpha 7.0
Mentioned: 112 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5224 Post(s)
Liked 3,584 Times
in
2,344 Posts
I believe it's called a "surrogate"