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-   -   What to do if she won't ride. Seek Female with similar riding interests (http://www.bikeforums.net/recreational-family/947957-what-do-if-she-wont-ride-seek-female-similar-riding-interests.html)

aprieto28 05-13-14 04:58 PM

What to do if she won't ride. Seek Female with similar riding interests
 
I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?

zonatandem 05-13-14 05:02 PM

Talk to her about it . . . don't ask us!
We've only been married 59 years. Been riding tandem since 1975.

mulveyr 05-13-14 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aprieto28 (Post 16756167)
I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?

Nope. My best friend besides my wife is female. Nothing at all wrong with having an opposite-gender activity buddy. Heck, sometimes it's preferable if you want to just ride recreationally and not deal with potential competitiveness.

Artkansas 05-13-14 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aprieto28 (Post 16756167)
I'm 60 yrs old. Married for over 30yrs. tired everything to get her to ride regularly, including tandem bike, but she just finds every excuse not to ride. I been riding for over 25 yrs. Is it wrong to seek female with similar riding interests?

Not wrong, but then your wife may not agree. It is playing with fire.

Wanderer 05-14-14 05:21 AM

Neither my wife, nor my girlfriend , like to ride. Good thing I have a buddy that likes to ride....................... LOL

On the other hand, I did see a really cute lil Filipina at the dentist' office yesterday..........

cplager 05-14-14 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aprieto28 (Post 16756167)
Is it wong to seek female with similar riding interests?

I don't see this ending well for you.

If you were looking for someone with which to ride and they turned out to be female, then that's probably fine (although even here you wife might disagree).

But looking for another woman (with which to ride)?

Maybe make sure said other woman's also a good divorce lawyer? Two birds, one stone.

VegasTriker 05-14-14 08:36 AM

Think like the parent of a teenager. Group riding brinks a sense of safety but solo riding maybe not so much.
It is OK if you are part of a group of riders but solo riding is asking for trouble with your wife.

El Cid 05-15-14 10:30 AM

This biking thing is a red herring. You're not looking for an activity partner, you're looking for a woman. And you're doing it because you feel a distance in your own marriage that you can't close. If you genuinely want this problem solved, then drop the pretenses and talk to your wife about seeing a marriage counsellor.

trailangel 05-15-14 11:54 AM

Ya, I found a nice looking female to ride with... just about 10 years younger than I am. and pretty well matched. And she smells good too!
And then... I woke up.

StephenH 05-18-14 08:25 AM

My wife wasn't interested in riding or much of anything else I was interested, and I didn't want to spend my days sitting around the house watching TV. Anyway, I didn't go looking for a woman to ride with, but did happen to stumble across a couple in the local long-distance group. So my current stoker and I have about 14,000 miles on the tandem in the last two years. It's not a romantic relationship, but works out well for both of us. Just takes the right people.

fietsbob 05-18-14 10:08 AM

I should have owned a tandem and had a 'space available' sign put on the back ..

StephenH 05-18-14 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fietsbob (Post 16768942)
I should have owned a tandem and had a 'space available' sign put on the back ..


I've heard of that being done. Probably helps the less creepy you are, and I think the occasions I heard of it being done were at fairly large bike club rides, but the participants were not entirely strangers to each other, too. I've also heard of guys having a box full of different types of pedals and a little black book of bike adjustments for various stokers. However, I think it works best if it's kind of a regular thing where you know each other's quirks. Among the women I know that have been bicycling for a good many years, the majority of them have stoked a tandem at one time or another.

fietsbob 05-18-14 11:59 AM

Would have been better 37 years ago .. my 30s ..

MRT2 05-18-14 03:21 PM

Forget about looking for women to ride with. That just sounds like trouble. Sell the tandem and ride solo, or join a cycling club. I am sure you will find some (male) riding buddies eventually.

mr,grumpy 05-26-14 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mulveyr (Post 16756356)
an opposite-gender activity buddy.

I wouldn't mind having the little red-head try-athalete that dropped me like wet soap on the MUP as an activity buddy.

OP-Dude, there area billion dudes and groups to ride with. You a dope for even asking this question.

eja_ bottecchia 05-26-14 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Artkansas (Post 16756642)
Not wrong, but then your wife may not agree. It is playing with fire.


He who plays with fire risks big alimony payments!

eja_ bottecchia 05-26-14 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wanderer (Post 16757220)
Neither my wife, nor my girlfriend , like to ride. Good thing I have a buddy that likes to ride....................... LOL

On the other hand, I did see a really cute lil Filipina at the dentist' office yesterday..........

Cute little Filipina girls can be big trouble....

eja_ bottecchia 05-26-14 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Cid (Post 16761287)
This biking thing is a red herring. You're not looking for an activity partner, you're looking for a woman. And you're doing it because you feel a distance in your own marriage that you can't close. If you genuinely want this problem solved, then drop the pretenses and talk to your wife about seeing a marriage counsellor.


Excellent advice. Specifically seeking a female riding partner is simply masking deeper issues.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!

Fred Smedley 05-26-14 07:13 AM

It's OK if the other woman brings her husband along ..

Wanderer 05-27-14 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eja_ bottecchia (Post 16792153)
Cute little Filipina girls can be big trouble....

Yeah, but she was a little doll! If she as 45 years older, I might take a chance................

On the plus side, I think I will schedule quarterly teeth cleanings......................... and look into any other services.

eja_ bottecchia 05-27-14 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wanderer (Post 16794709)
Yeah, but she was a little doll! If she as 45 years older, I might take a chance................

On the plus side, I think I will schedule quarterly teeth cleanings......................... and look into any other services.

want to spend more time with her?

Eat a bag of Oreo cookies while waiting to be called. She will have to cancel all her appointments for the day! :D

Keith99 05-27-14 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mulveyr (Post 16756356)
Nope. My best friend besides my wife is female. Nothing at all wrong with having an opposite-gender activity buddy. Heck, sometimes it's preferable if you want to just ride recreationally and not deal with potential competitiveness.

There is a difference between having a riding buddy of the opposite gender and specifically looking for a riding buddy of the opposite gender.

And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.

jbrow1 05-27-14 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith99 (Post 16795241)
There is a difference between having a riding buddy of the opposite gender and specifically looking for a riding buddy of the opposite gender.

And my take is anyone who would specifically look for an opposite gender riding buddy had better not have one unless they are or want to become single. At least if you are a guy. I can see a female wanting a guy for the protection from hassles factor.

I think this is spot on.

trailangel 05-31-14 05:01 PM

Switch teams!

rumrunn6 07-16-14 12:30 PM

I believe it's called a "surrogate"


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