Dan333SP

Too late, he's left us again.

I think I get excited because he's the unicorn of bike forums. His posts are poorly written, fixate on expensive bikes and how they can make you faster, and talk about imaginary races on the MUP and he isn't trolling!

There are many who attempt to ironically create content this good and come up short, and yet it's so effortless for him to spew out a bunch of braggy grammatical disasters. We stand in awe.

RPK79

Not to mention how he is attempting to pull together some statistics to help him learn how to improve his cycling. Statistics like peak wattage, average heart rate, and if other cyclists ever seeded a tunnel.

f4rrest

I enjoy @Hbrown's posts.

smarkinson

Bull ****ing ****.

If all he can manage is 150th out of 199 riders at an average of 29.1kmh (which would include the pros) for the lap then maybe he was 20th out 21 riders.

You are slow Mr Brown. Deal with it.

Bike Ride Profile | 36 miles near Philadelphia | Times and Records | Strava

Edit: Watch the strava fly by. Must have finished at least half a lap down which is pretty bad in a 2 lap race.

f4rrest

Not seeing lots of power on that ride, yet it's mostly z4/z5.

Doesn't add up.

smarkinson

Managed to find the ride results for "The Bicycling Open" in Philadelphia on 7 June 2015 (see Strava link in post 55 above). The objective was to complete as many laps as possible between 6:45 and 8:00am before the big boys came out to play.

my race result : : Citizens Bicycling Open

Our hero finished 123rd out of 301 male riders. Only out by 103 placings on his imaginary 20th place.

I think a lack of oxygen by spending too much time in the red zone may have adversely affected Mr Brown's cognitive abilities.

colnago62

I read somewhere that his output was in the 1,800 to 1,900 range.

colnago62

You would kick the crap out of Sir Chris Hoy. All sprinters would bow to your greatness. Your numbers are wrong.

HazeT

From the last 60 days:

5s: 1045W
1m: 445W
5m: 301W
20m: 264W
60m: 221W

PS: I suck

Dan333SP

Good sleuthing! Any time someone comes along bragging consistently about how fast they are with references to incredible Strava records and/or excuses for why they just don't have time to actually race, they end up being relatively weak. The fastest people are (almost) always the most humble, because they've been around enough other riders to understand that there is always someone faster than you, no matter what level of fitness you think you've attained. Cycling is a very humbling sport.

svtmike

And only one lap.

Anyone who knows anything about sprint power and speed knows his claims are pure and utter bull****. It's kind of sad.

kbarch

I wasn't making them up, I swear! And they can't be wrong - they came from GPS and a computer!

I know, I know: g.i.g.o..... That was kind of my point - about how unreliable some data can be (in this case elevation data from Strava), and how shorter segments can exaggerate the inaccuracy.

For what it's worth, playing around with a larger sample and longer segments, I found data that fairly well corresponds to experience of how I compare to those I ride with. Better times on climbs in the five minute range work out to about 5.6w/kg, while mid-race flat segments in the one minute range are barely 7w/kg, with consistently modest data for flat segments generally, which jibes with a) the way I regularly fly past folks up hills, but b) rarely avoid getting dropped before the bell in a 5-lap race. Have finished way more than the necessary ten races, but no sense upgrading to Cat 4/masters if I can't regularly get a pack finish at least, let alone place. So I've started working on sprints, and maintaining a harder effort on flats.

shelbyfv

Thanks to those internet sleuths who exposed this delusional troll!! With all this on record, it will be fun when he pops up again!

Dan333SP

All of this is funny, but it also makes me kind of sad. Cycling is so much fun and so healthy, and it's so much easier to enjoy if you're not always trying to prove something to others about your qualifications for fitting in with the "roadies" or have illusions of grandeur. I guess everyone enjoys things in their own way and I hope HBrown continues to enjoy his fleet of bikes, but to me having that much of a chip on your shoulder is missing the point of the whole endeavor, particularly when it can lead to anger when people started flagging his KOMs.

Dan333SP

Do you have a PM? Also, how much do you weigh? It just seems odd you'd be off the back in a Cat 5 race if you're able to sustain 5.6w/kg for 5+ minutes. At my weight, that would be around 460 watts. I don't have a PM but I'm not sure if I've ever hit that kind of number for 5 minutes in a race, and I have no problem finishing in the pack in 3/4 races or grabbing a top 10 in a 4 field.

Maybe head over to "The 33" and read some of the threads on how to properly "pack surf" so you're putting out minimal effort as you move through the field? Unless I'm trying to get in some sort of workout where I just crush myself until I pop, I rarely see any wind at all in a race until the last lap.

Homebrew01

True. Unless doing specific intervals, I don't use a computer of any kind when I ride.

badger1

Very well said (seriously) -- however amusing this kind of thing is (and it is -- very) it is also sad. I really don't get this (e.g. Hbrown's) impulse, I guess. Hell, I'm an old, slow, fat (relatively speaking) cyclist who rides alone. I've never been 'fast', never could have been and never will be even in the age-relative sense.

Yet I've been a lifelong and passionate fan of racing/pro cycling and its history -- my interest began with the Merckx years and has never let up. I ride down to and watch the local crits in the spring/summer, and am full of admiration for those who can and do have the talent and put in the work to ride like that. Following racing, and just putting in lots of miles/time on my bike each year, provides more than enough joy (from cycling) and incidental health benefits for me to be getting on with. Can't for the life of me understand the need to pretend to be something one is not.

PepeM

I want some KOMs.

Dan333SP

I would suggest capturing the ride data from HBrown's KOMs around Philly, applying some digital EPO to make them a little faster, and then uploading under your username.


@PepeM

kbarch

No PM, just sampling of more reliable segments and resulting calculations. Also, at around 70kg, 392w = 5.6w/kg.
Racing is really more psychological than anything. As much as I enjoy riding in a peloton, strategizing and all, I'm all too willing to capitulate to more aggressive riders, and when others will charge down a winding descent, I'm too comfortable letting them get away. I can only bridge the gap so many times

1983

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4O5voOCqAQ

Bah Humbug

Well heck, even I can do that, and I'm not even a cyclist.

Dan333SP

I'm going to be in Philly for thanksgiving with my bike. I find myself presented with a fantastic Strava-Trolling opportunity. Do I take it, or do I take the high road that I've preached?

Hmmm...

PepeM

Just checked the only segment in which I'm even remotely close to the top (2nd). The average power for the segment of the fella above me is half of mine. Both measured.

joejack951

I live about 25 miles from that segment. Wanna paceline it? ;-)