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Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

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Old 04-26-06, 10:33 AM   #1
worker4youth
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Jan's Blog Page

http://www.myspace.com/kaiserjan

Hilarious!
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Old 04-26-06, 10:45 AM   #2
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That is fantastic.
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Old 04-26-06, 10:49 AM   #3
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Nice!
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Old 04-26-06, 10:50 AM   #4
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Yeah, that's good stuff there!
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Old 04-26-06, 11:02 AM   #5
reneuend
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I don't know how you guys find this stuff!
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Old 04-26-06, 11:10 AM   #6
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"I am too busy grinding the hearts of the weak people to powder with the mortar and pestle that are my massive thighs."

Fantastic!
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Old 04-26-06, 11:16 AM   #7
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I haven't laughed so much since the day I discovered Homestarrunner.
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Old 04-26-06, 03:09 PM   #8
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That has got to be the funniest thing I have seen in here since I joined...hell it may just be the funniest thing I have ever read. I loved it!!

Cheers,

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Old 04-26-06, 03:20 PM   #9
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I think it's really EURO who set that up there.
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Old 04-26-06, 07:18 PM   #10
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"That dog was cute








And he was delicious"



ahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Old 04-26-06, 07:56 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hipcycler
I think it's really EURO who set that up there.
EURO couldn't be that funny with a gag writer.
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Old 04-26-06, 08:38 PM   #12
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THis is gold.

"The Jan is not going to be losing the Tour in 2006 to some hairy little spaghetti-legged monkey from Italy."
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Old 04-26-06, 09:03 PM   #13
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Awesome find!
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Old 04-26-06, 09:06 PM   #14
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Quote:
Sure, the Lance won 7 Tours, but did he ever win a stage naked? No, the Jan is thinking not.
lol
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Old 04-27-06, 11:28 AM   #15
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New entry!
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Old 04-27-06, 11:34 AM   #16
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a portion of the newest entry:




"The Jan has just done the finishing of the stage two of the tour of Romandie. Romandie is being the worst country the Jan has ever been to. It is smelling like cabbage, and the all the women are looking like wooly sacks of potatoes. Preferably the Jan must dine on the liver of fourteen virgins every morning to be strong, but there are not being 14 virgins in all of Romandie, the Jan is thinking. So I am not crushing as many souls as I am normally doing.

Oh, do not being getting the Jan wrong, there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth as I flow down over the peloton like the hot pink spectre of doom and pestilence that all men know me to be. But the true crushing has not yet done the beginning in earnest. Only once will I open the portal to pain and death and rain down a storm from the darkest of hells upon the peloton. That will be in the July, of course."
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Old 04-27-06, 11:42 AM   #17
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"The team doctor says that I am worn out, that I have been porking Bjarne Riis' wife too much. I am saying, yes, this task is not being easy, for it is requiring the mountain climbing gear, and the hazmat suit, and the stomach of iron, but I am still doing it. If I am not porking Bjarne Riis' wife, then who will? Certainly not Mr. Fussy Pants Throw a Bicycle Baby Face Bjarne. He is not liking the company of women, I am hearing thourgh the grapevine. It is apparently the truth that the Bjarne Riis likes to hump donkeys."

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Old 04-27-06, 12:02 PM   #18
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"... the Great Yellow UniBalled One..."

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...8-789dad5c5412
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Old 04-27-06, 05:20 PM   #19
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O.M.F.G

This is golden!!!!
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Old 04-27-06, 07:05 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 60cycle
a portion of the newest entry:




"The Jan has just done the finishing of the stage two of the tour of Romandie. Romandie is being the worst country the Jan has ever been to. It is smelling like cabbage, and the all the women are looking like wooly sacks of potatoes. Preferably the Jan must dine on the liver of fourteen virgins every morning to be strong, but there are not being 14 virgins in all of Romandie, the Jan is thinking. So I am not crushing as many souls as I am normally doing.

Oh, do not being getting the Jan wrong, there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth as I flow down over the peloton like the hot pink spectre of doom and pestilence that all men know me to be. But the true crushing has not yet done the beginning in earnest. Only once will I open the portal to pain and death and rain down a storm from the darkest of hells upon the peloton. That will be in the July, of course."
This guy is a frigging natural...I love this stuff!!!
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Old 04-27-06, 07:13 PM   #21
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I wonder if the REAL Jan knows about this blog? I am thinking the Jan would not be seeing the humour.

I think it's hilarious - are there any other ones out there for other riders?
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Old 04-27-06, 07:30 PM   #22
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I think the real Jan would love it. Haha... either way, I laugh even when I re-read them.
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Old 04-27-06, 07:37 PM   #23
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I feel confident that it is the real Jan. so he struggles a little with the english, but not so much that he writes his blog in his native tongue.
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Old 04-27-06, 07:53 PM   #24
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This might be the best thing I have ever read...

Quote:
It is not being the easy to sculpt this flesh-temple of wonder that we are calling "The Jan." No, it is not being easy at all. Lo, and gaze upon these twin monsters of dark muscle upon which I will build my unholy church. How many road-widows have they made? The Jan can still hear the wails, and he is much comforted. How many children have been abandoned, how many have gone hungry when their fathers were mashed between my horgantuan thigh-beasts like so much mashed-up stuff? The Jan is hearing these questions, but he cannot be granting you an answer.

The victims of these monstrous thigh-beasts are being as countless as the grains of sand on a beach, as infinite as the stars in the sky. To pass between these twin colossi of pain is to pass across the border into a shadow world of death and eternal damnation.
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Old 04-27-06, 08:08 PM   #25
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I is the Jan!
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