derath

Hey gang,

I just had to vent. I literally haven't touched any of my bikes in almost a month now. I do have a good excuse though. My son was born 4/28. The couple of weeks prior I was swamped trying to get all my work wrapped up in anticipation. The last 2 weeks have been a nonstop juggle between dishes, laundry, baby, and 3yr old daughter.

So on the one hand I understand it is just not the time. My wife needs my help, and it is a true joy to have a new addition to the family.

But darn it! Cycling has become a near addiction this year and I am going through withdrawl.

Thanks for listening. At least I get some vicarious thrill from reading the boards.

-D

iNewton

This thread does not deliver, needs pics of both the babies.

Hang in there though, you'll soon have time to escape, and invest in a trainer until then.

ken cummings

3 years old is old enough to start helping Daddy with the chores. Like dusting his bike?

botto 

you can ride your bike anytime, but you can only get vomited on by your kids twice (when they're fresh out of the oven, and when they're in HS learning to drink)

derath

Ok fine,

Pics can be found here:

https://holoski.homeip.net:88/index.p...view_album.php

Our 3 year old has been a great helper. Luckily she also LOVES rides with daddy in the Bike trailer. I think in the next week or so I can get things under control enough to ride with her. I can also resume my night rides. They are dark but peaceful.

-D

Guest

Sorry. I don't have a lot of sympathy, since I can't even imagine what hobbies, exercise, or outside activities she's giving up completely to raise the kids. You pitch in, but she's the one who seems to give up the most. Be thankful you can get back to your activities at some point.

Koffee

ElJamoquio

Dusty bikes aren't worth the trouble of 'fixing' (i.e. cleaning). Take them to the curb right now.

P.S. where do you live?

Nubie

As it was, and always shall be....Koffee hath spoken.

derath

Woah.

First off, I didn't post looking for sympathy.

Secondly, how dare you presume our situation. We have been married 13 happy years. Throughout that time I have devoted my life to my wife and now family.

When my wife wanted to go to graduate school, I singlehandedly funded the entire thing (all $50k). During that time I worked out of the house 3 weeks out of the month. 1 month was spent travelling. While working out of the house I cooked the meals, made her lunch, cleaned etc, so she could focus on her studies.

Now as a father I am cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, run errands. I also bust my a$$ at work to provide a nice home (not a McMansion) for my family. Also a in house babysitter 3 days a week (9-1) so my wife can do the things she needs/wants to do, like go to the gym etc. She does freelance about 20 hours a week, but not because she has to. Because she wants to. I consider this just a bit more than "pitching in"

I am not saying my wife hasn't made sacrifices. We both have. That is part of parenting. We both do it willingly however and take my fair share as well.

I don't know what male issues you may have but DO NOT project them on me.

Oh and sorry for the delay in replying, I just had to feed baby Ben a bottle, and then one handedly fix my daughter some lunch (holding the baby) so that my wife could take a nap. One thing I can't help with as much is the night feedings. I would be happy to, but I don't have breasts.

-D

aadhils

Stay off the bike a few more months and you soon will...

SSRI

Congrats,
my daughter Kate arrived on April 14, I am glad I cash out all my vacation/personal days...my wife and I both are taking some time off to handle this bundle of joy. Since we are staying with her parents I am able to get a few breaks and Ride... on the trainer anyway. ( I was given a complete day off and rode the 5 boro, since I stay in the city by myself that was the best sleep I had in 3 weeks the night feedings are kickin my ass).
good luck (since you cant hit the rode you might want to consider the trainer)

HWS

Congrats on the new addition!

I can sympathize about the dust on the bike. It han't stopped raining for 4 days here and the wife figured it would be a great time to finish the last few details on the kitchen re-model I started in February (knobs, alittle tile etc..) You'll blow the dust off eventually.

GuitarWizard

Nicely spoken.

Guest

I dare because you post on a public forum expecting sympathy (obviously). Well, I could care less about your "sacrifices" or what you did to support your wife through school or whatever. All I am saying is that you might be looking ready to hit your bike in a couple of months, but where is she going to be when you're back on the bike? In my eyes, this looks like you're seeing the new kid is a sidetracking to the cycling, and in this case, I just don't really have too much sympathy for you. You might think your "fair share" is all you're doing now, but I think you (as most men in your situation) do much less than what's fair. But since that's the life you've both chosen, so be it. But don't get on bikeforums and moan and groan about your kids and how you haven't ridden your bike in *gasp* almost a month! because you're helping out with the kids and expect real sympathy. Sorry, bu t that's just my opinion. If you didn't want it, you shouldn't have posted it.

Koffee

P.S. No men issues here- men serve their purposes well for what they're needed.

Namenda

Aye...wonder how many kids Koffee has raised?

Guest

Yup.

Guest

That is obtuse. If you REALLY wanted to help with the night feedings, you'd present your wife with a pump and tell her to pump up and leave the milk in the fridge so you can help out with the nightly feedings. This isn't brain surgery....

derath

First off, I was not moaning and groaning. Sorry I should have added some smileys to my OP. If having kids meant I had to sell my bikes I would do it without hesitation.

As for the rest, it just isn't worth my time to try and refute anymore. I have more important things to attend to right now. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. But I also won't stand by while you misrepresent me and my situation.

Oh and in another month, as soon as the doctor gives my wife the go ahead, we will be getting her back in shape. Our goal is to do the Seagull century this year (metric) together on our tandem.



Most enlightening line in this whole thread. Yea right, no issues there...

Guest

None, other than having to deal with my baby brother. Bleah. But what relevance does that have? That's just a dumb observation you're trying, but failing, to make. If I wanted kids, I would have had them.

He's putting his life story out here and looking for the sympathy. If he doesn't like that he's not getting all the "poor baby" replies he obviously wanted, then he shouldn't have posted.

Koffee

derath

Yea I was up till 2am with him last night using a bottle that was 50% breastmilk 50% formula (to stretch it out). Then I gave him to her at 2am and slept until 6am when my daughter woke up. But I didn't have enough to give her the whole night to sleep. SORRY. I am planning on trying to pull an all nighter with him tonight though to give her a full nights sleep to catch up.

-D

Guest

No more enlightening than your backpedalling to explain you weren't whining about your kids. So we're even.

*YAWN* Bored now.

Koffee

Namenda

Pardon, but exactly who shouldn't have posted? If you have no interest in his plight, be it real or in jest, you could just as well have left it alone. It seems to me that derath was looking to discuss his experiences with others who share them. Instead, you have turned this into some kind of warped sexist debate.

GuitarWizard

I agree. Normally Koffee seems to make fairly level-headed posts, but not this time.

iNewton

You are flaming bait. You do have men problems and needs to get that taken care of.

To the OP: Awesome kids and wife, there, mate. And keep up the good 'work'. I respect the fact that you and your wife are not doing a 180 degree turn in your life (EX: stopping any kind of exercises) to attend to your kids. The kids needs the see parents that are both 1) happy and 2) active physically and everything else that trickles down from that.

derath

Not backpedaling. I just didn't think I was going to have to defend myself against a BS post such as yours. Otherwise I would have been more thorough in my OP.

Sure I have pangs of loss that I haven't been able to ride. Guess what. That is NORMAL. I would bet that just about everyone on this forum, BOTH male and female, have had the same thing when they just had a baby. My wife feels it too. It is the joy of parenting that you can be happy,sad tired elated overjoyed etc all at the same time. I wouldn't change it for the world.

To everyone else, thanks for the great replies. When it is the right time I will be back on the road again. Both of us will.


By the way Koffee. I like how you snipped your own words when referring to my enlightening line, thus taking my words out of context. What's next, using your moderator powers to bury my thread in some other forum cause it doesn't belong to the road forum anymore?

-D