dbattan

I started cycling several years ago and I have improved to a solid BB type rider (in local club terms) but I have plateaued and want to get even better, maybe try racing. But I have a job, a family and three small kids (7, 5 and 3) and I always feel tugs of guilt when going for a long training ride.

And the kind of training plans you see always call for lots of weekly miles, recovery rides etc etc.

Just curious if anyone else is obsessed with bikes and also has kids, and how much you train, what your perspective is, etc....

Thanks.

CyLowe97

I know exactly what you are saying. I don't ride near as much as I would like. I've got an 18 month old and another one due in the next week or two. I still feel that twinge of guilt, but I'm learning that I pretty much and a better person once I get back from a ride. My wife is figuring this out, too that I don't do that 'caged animal' pacing if I don't get out. She knows that if I'm gone for several hours early on a Saturday or Sunday that I'll be back before the morning is over, as well as that I'll take over for as much of the rest of the day.

I told her the other day that I'm resigned to the fact that once the second child arrives that my riding time will decrease. I'm cool with that. I have responsibilities at home. However, she also knows I'm signed up for some rides that will take me away for a night or so later in the summer. She's learning that her mom is willing to come up to help out for a night and that I'm not completely indispensible.

The guilt may not go away totally, but if your spouse knows that a long ride brings you back refreshed and your longing to ride is sated, then that helps out a bunch.

Good luck!

twbradford

My wife and I rode together. Then we were expecting twins. So I rode alone. Twins are here now and 2 weeks old. I still ride.
People told me that riding was going to stop once the kids are here. I laughed. I can because I know my wife supports cycling. She wants to ride too. So I have a supporter.

The way I see it is that I just need to become more efficient with my time. Ride earlier in the day. Then come home and take the girls out for a spin for a nice recovery ride. Keeps the whole family riding together and supporting the sport.
The plan is for my wife to start riding again in a few months. We will get a sitter to watch the kids on Sat mornings while we ride. Then when they are old enough to sit up they will go in the trailer and we will ride together...so I better lose another 15lbs so I can still hammer it.

Cycling isn't just a passtime. It is a necessity. Like eating or taking a dump. You gotta make time for it. Just don't over do it. I have seen women competitors have babies and get back into competing again. They had a baby, have a baby and they still compete. That is awesome. It is balancing life. Kids don't need our every moment....unless they are special needs children. The same people who tell me I won't be able to ride again are running around to every kids sporting event for the kids.....and they neglect their own needs. Screw that. We are such a Kidcentric society. Everyone in the family counts.

I think the biggest thing to help us cyclists with families is to get the whole family involved. Do group rides and ride with the family until the ride splits off for the longer distance or throw the young-ins in a trailer and hammer away on the century. Get a tandem and ride with the wife. I was impressed on one 30 mile ride when I saw a dad with his daughter on one of those bike tows. She pedaled the whole way with her dad.

I have some friends who started to ride with me. They have families. The wives are now jealous because they are riding and neglecting their family. I don't believe cycling is at fault. It is what happens off the bike that causes the reaction. It is about life\family balancing. You gotta make folks feel like they count and are valued. Then when you need your time...they allow it.

Try this....every time your family lets you go riding....do something nice for them. Make cookies, take them out for ice cream, go for a family ride, wash the dishes, do laundry. It is positive reinforcement. They then associate your riding with a positive thing for them. It is "win-win". Whatever you do make sure it is for them and not you.

Keep on riding!!!!

'nother

I have a full-time (over-time!) job (though I do work from home), a wife, two children aged 2 and 4, and a "band" which is my second family.

Working from home affords me a bit of extra time on weekdays; I spend the time that used be spent commuting riding instead. However, that's a small amount, and doesn't add any time on the weekends.

It is indeed difficult to "find" time, but I've found you really have to *make* time. I schedule things in advance on a shared calendar we use, and our policy is more or less "first come, first served". I book my "big" organized rides as far out as possible and get them in the books. She does the same (for herself and the children). Shorter/less-intrusive events (shorter duration club or buddy rides, etc.) are hashed out verbally and many times I have to skip them. But a lot of times I still get to do them. It's not perfect but it works. Early morning rides are excellent because she & the kids usually sleep in, so if I leave at 5:30, I'm often back by 8-8:30 and they're just getting up -- like I never left!

Also of great help are babysitters and day care. It kind of sucks to pay out for that "just to go for a ride", but I look at it as being for my health (mental and physical), and that's priceless.

Hambone

I stop watching tv earlier and go to bed. I get up earlier and I ride to work. If I'm early, I get in some extra hill work on the hill next to the office.

For me riding isn't the end it is the means. I want to loose weight and be there when my kids get married/graduate college/have kids of their own... (maybe not in that order.) So, I make sacrifices in other areas. My wife understands and supports this.

I kind of think she appreciates the other benefits of my having more stamina, tighter glut's, better wind, etc. too.

C-R700

I leave at 5:30AM. Am home about an hour or two after the kids get up (9-9:30). I have a job with flexible hours where I ride at lunch time. I also commute and ride one evening a week.

SEAtrain

My kids are young at 2.5 & 0.3years old. My wife is very supportive, but my riding definately puts a strain on her ... sometimes I have to take my lumps. Like others, I schedule longer rides as far out as possible and I work with her to fit in daily rides. This season I've been averaging about 8.5 hours each week.

I do my best to incorporate cycling into play. On recovery days, I haul my oldest around in a trailer. We stop, throw rocks, ride through sprinklers, etc. He's recently potty trained so we bought him a scooter for being such a big boy. We make a great game of chasing each other around our sidewalks and driveway. Turns out, it's good bike-handling practice.

I think you need family support, a desire to ride and a willingness to make sacrifices.

Good luck! I know I need all I can get.

SEA

bayareawheeler

commuting is my secret weapon. a good 60 mile commute a 3-4 times a week and ive watched my performance climb steadily...last few rides ive been doing alot of work up front in the group rides which is nice.

driving takes 1 hour each way, commuting takes 2 but i gain 2 free hours of glorious pedaling a day (roundtrip) that would otherwise be spent in my car pissed off.

wife is also very supportful i should add.

have 3 kids

7 year old
1.5 year old
5 day year old

regards,
baw

CWeb

I have two kids 5 and 1. I have been training and racing this season. Two things have helped. One, my wife works out 3 nights a week and I hold down the fort which eases the guilt when I go out. Two, it is important to make plans unbreakable. I sign up for races early so I can't back out and have training partners that knock down my door and make sure I go.

It will be good when the little guy gets older and the whole family can come to the races. He still takes two naps a day.

El Diablo Rojo

Well I get up at 5:30 on the week days and get my workout's done. On the weekends I'm up at 7am, I have breakfast with my girls and then I get in 3-4 hours. I train more than I ride and I have coach so if you are riding for pure pleasure this may not really work for you. Also when my kids were smaller I'd put them in Burley and take them with me. My wife appreciates what cycling and racing does for me both physically and mentally and I'm respectful of her time as well. I don't race every weekend but I pick my races and try to make the big ones. Still if were kidless I'm sure I'd be a Cat 3 by now but who give a rat's I've got two terrific little girls!

H1449-6

I let her mother raise her.



PS. We live together, in case you wondered. She's a great mother, and I'm a great breadwinner. Works for both of us.

dbattan

Thanks for all the great responses so far.

Two questions:

1.

dbattan

Thanks for all the great responses so far.

Two questions:

1. For the stalwarts who ride at 5:30 am before work, what time do you end up going to bed to be able to get up and do that?

2. Anyone have an internet coach or training program that takes into account work and family commitments?

zimbo

My three kids go to bed at 9:00 and I don't go to bed until midnight. That means on any given day I can put in a two-and-a-half hour ride on the trainer if I want to

--Steve

El Diablo Rojo

I'm usually asleep by 10:30, this isn't a big deal as I've always been a early to bed early to rise kinda guy.

My coach is basically an 'internet' coach. I do get to talk with him on the phone when I need too and I see him once a month, but the bulk of his coaching is online. He's a family man himself and understands the demands family's present. That's why my training rarely exceeds 13 hours a week. In the last 12 months he's really transformed me and I ride less than before I hired him. He trains a lot of the local fast guys, one of me teammates has been with him for only 6 months and in his second 3's race won the State Crit championships. Shaun swears that Sean (our coach) has helped him immensely and again he's training less hours. The other thing a coach does for me is take out the 'thinking' when it comes to training. I just wake up and do what I'm told. I don't have to think about what or where or how I'm going train. My month is totally laid out so I just get up and ride.

'nother

Usually around 10 but some nights I have to confess I'm so tired I conk out around 8:30 - 9

Rise at a little before 5, eat, ride, come back and start the actual day

bccycleguy

I once read about a single mom who couldn't afford a babysitter, so she used to train by riding around the block with the kid parked in the front window so they could see each other each time she went by. Round and round the block by the hour. I think she eventually made the Canadian National team.

TJHOO

4 kids ages 6/5/4/2
Wife is SAHM (actually works 1 day/wk as a nurse)
Occupation: Family physician. Job used to take 100+hrs/week. Cut back to 60 hrs for personal/family health.

Tips
1-family does not miss you much while they are asleep
a. try to exercise early am. I use trainer (Spinerval Videos), cross train (swim/treadmill). Usually rise at 4am; bed 8pm

2-organize rides yourself. If you plan the ride, you can hopefully have some determination where/when it occurs.

3-exercise will make you
a. more focused, efficient at your job
b. more able to deal w/ stressful work and family situations

4-be sure to get enough sleep.


I just finished my hardest ride ever this past weekend; double metric century (128 miles) w/ 13k ft climbing. To prepare:
--Organized and led weekly winter training ride
--Starting March from base of 40 mile weekly outdoor ride, added 5-10 miles/week to longest ride. Built up to 110 1 day ride the week prior to the 128.

YMMV, but my weekly schedule is like this
M 5am-swim/run
T 4am-Trainer am x 60-120 min
W 6am 2 hr outdoor ride
R 5am swim/run
R 5 pm bike 25-30 miles outside
F 4am trainer am x 60-120 min
Sat OR Sun 1 long ride 50-100 miles
OFF days are either Sat OR Sun, and 1 day/week I work overnight.

Best of luck!

C_Heath

dang, I cant follow that act but I do have 3 kids, 6/6 and 20 months, all girls, 2 are twins. I have been self employed for 6 years and am about to go back to work. Wife is a 9-5 health care worker. Kids just out of Kindergarten, 20 month old in a sitter 14 miles away.

On trainer days, I arrive home from dropping all of them off at around 8:50, If I hurry, I can get on the trainer and off and showered, ready to leave at 10:30.

On my road days, since daylight savings time, I leave the house at 6:20 and arrive back (25 miles) around 7:50. I usually ride 75 miles per week outside. I do feel the tug of guilt when I roll down the driveway and look back and the 20 month old is in her swing and the twins are riding their now training wheeless bikes, waiving and all that but I have to ride, not because its riding but if I dont, I will blow up like a balloon and be grumpy all the time.

This all will change soon and I have been very grumpy for 2 days over it. I go for an interview in the morning at 10 am for a position that will cost me almost all my cycling time . 8-6pm M-F and 8-5 on Saturdays. I am truly crapped out right now, more than I have been in a while.

Family First tho right?

socalrider

2 words - Burley Trailer.. Your wife will love the fact that you will take 2 of your kids on your training ride with you.. When I raced my friends had 2 small children and I would ride with my friends and tow their burley trailer because I was the strongest rider of our group.. They would usually be interested for the 1st hour then fall asleep soon after all the excitement wore off.. You will get super strong towing a trailer also.. There nothing like pulling an extra 70-100 pounds extra on a training ride.. Give it a look..

You can usually find them used on craigslist.. I see them listed all the time..

https://www.burley.com/products/trailers/default.html

krazyderek

"ok kids, who wants to go in the bike wagon?!!! YAY!"

good resistance trainning, like your climbing all the time.

Eyeseeu

I have 2 boys, 6 and 7, plus I travel constantly for work. Most weekends my wife works and I have the kids so I have to mix real rides with Cycle Ops trainer rides. It is not as good as being on the road, but I usually do a couple of Spinervals DVD's and the 2003 RAAM movie while indoors. I also have my "Nascar" workout where I ride on the trainer from green flag to checkered flag.

egonlou

22 month old twins.

I commute as much as possible 16 miles each way. I go to bed around 11pm and rise around 5:15, getting on the road about 5:50am.

Whenever the kids see someone on the bike, its "DADDY!!". And he wears a "HEMMET!!" or "HAT!!" with hands on heads.

Summit

Similar to others...
1. trainer in the evening after the kids (and wife) go to bed
2. 5am rides or mid-afternoon (during the kids nap time) rides on the weekends
3. lunch time rides during the week

Between those three I find that I can usually get in about 1 to 1 1/2 hours of riding a day. It does get tougher to make time for longer rides. Full day rides are planned well in advance and usually involve some kind of trade with my wife. All works out to about 7,000 miles a year.