Dilemma! Wife wants to buy me an 8-piece Chorus group!
11-11-07, 09:50 PM
#1
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Dilemma! Wife wants to buy me an 8-piece Chorus group!
I know, nice problem to have but….
Background:
Well, my Wife took about 14 months off work after we had a baby. I was in total agreement as I too wasn’t comfortable with putting our newborn into a day care. During this time, she had maternity leave at 50% of salary for about 11 months. She paid for the baby needs & I took care of almost everything else
Well, she is going back to work in two weeks and she will be making good bucks as a database programmer. Last night, she offered to buy me the Chorus group from PBK that I’ve been lusting after for Christmas! GOD BLESS HER SOUL!!!
However, I feel a bit uneasy that she will blow her most of her first paycheck on a gift for me. Perhaps it how I was brought up (dirt poor BTW) but I don’t know if I should let her spoil me like that. Maybe I should tell her to buy things for the baby instead or save it?
I make way more than her and I can easily fund the entire project. A Ti bike (LiteSpeed Vortex or Ultimate or Merlin TR6/4) w/ Chorus/Record mix and EC90 everything else.
Should let her do this?
Confused...
T.J.
Background:
Well, my Wife took about 14 months off work after we had a baby. I was in total agreement as I too wasn’t comfortable with putting our newborn into a day care. During this time, she had maternity leave at 50% of salary for about 11 months. She paid for the baby needs & I took care of almost everything else
Well, she is going back to work in two weeks and she will be making good bucks as a database programmer. Last night, she offered to buy me the Chorus group from PBK that I’ve been lusting after for Christmas! GOD BLESS HER SOUL!!!
However, I feel a bit uneasy that she will blow her most of her first paycheck on a gift for me. Perhaps it how I was brought up (dirt poor BTW) but I don’t know if I should let her spoil me like that. Maybe I should tell her to buy things for the baby instead or save it?
I make way more than her and I can easily fund the entire project. A Ti bike (LiteSpeed Vortex or Ultimate or Merlin TR6/4) w/ Chorus/Record mix and EC90 everything else.
Should let her do this?
Confused...
T.J.
11-11-07, 09:54 PM
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Take it from a guy who's been there: your first (and only) problem is that you view money as "yours" and "hers." You'll have greater harmony in the long run if you consider it "ours."
The other question can't be answered by anyone but you, since we don't know how much money you and your wife have to spend, nor what other eqpt you already have, etc. In other words, we don't know your budget constraint and "needs."
The other question can't be answered by anyone but you, since we don't know how much money you and your wife have to spend, nor what other eqpt you already have, etc. In other words, we don't know your budget constraint and "needs."
11-11-07, 09:55 PM
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Think of it as a gift from her to show her appreciation for the support you've given her for the last 14 months. I'd take it without a blink if I were in your shoes.
You're a lucky guy.
You're a lucky guy.
11-11-07, 10:01 PM
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Take the money and use it for a nice romatic getaway, just for you and the wife. Have grandma come babysit the toddler. Everyone wins. Take this advice from a guy who still has to give his ex-wife enough money to buy a top-of-the-line bike every six months. And any leftover money goes to my attorney.
11-11-07, 10:14 PM
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Take it from a guy who's been there: your first (and only) problem is that you view money as "yours" and "hers." You'll have greater harmony in the long run if you consider it "ours."
The other question can't be answered by anyone but you, since we don't know how much money you and your wife have to spend, nor what other eqpt you already have, etc. In other words, we don't know your budget constraint and "needs."
The other question can't be answered by anyone but you, since we don't know how much money you and your wife have to spend, nor what other eqpt you already have, etc. In other words, we don't know your budget constraint and "needs."
We are financially comforatble, meaning that our house & cars are paid for & the only debt we have are investments.
11-11-07, 10:14 PM
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11-11-07, 10:16 PM
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Okay, okay, I just have to respond. The above is bad advice.
Take the money and use it for a nice romatic getaway, just for you and the wife. Have grandma come babysit the toddler. Everyone wins. Take this advice from a guy who still has to give his ex-wife enough money to buy a top-of-the-line bike every six months. And any leftover money goes to my attorney.
Take the money and use it for a nice romatic getaway, just for you and the wife. Have grandma come babysit the toddler. Everyone wins. Take this advice from a guy who still has to give his ex-wife enough money to buy a top-of-the-line bike every six months. And any leftover money goes to my attorney.
11-11-07, 10:17 PM
#11
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My wife went through 9 months of puking and dramatic wieght gain. Then she did something to the equivalent of pulling your bottom lip over your eyes. I suppose what I'm feeling is that I don't know if having the last 14 months off constitutes a "gift" for me.
Last edited by Tequila Joe; 11-11-07 at 10:27 PM.
11-11-07, 10:22 PM
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Okay, okay, I just have to respond. The above is bad advice.
Take the money and use it for a nice romatic getaway, just for you and the wife. Have grandma come babysit the toddler. Everyone wins. Take this advice from a guy who still has to give his ex-wife enough money to buy a top-of-the-line bike every six months. And any leftover money goes to my attorney.
Take the money and use it for a nice romatic getaway, just for you and the wife. Have grandma come babysit the toddler. Everyone wins. Take this advice from a guy who still has to give his ex-wife enough money to buy a top-of-the-line bike every six months. And any leftover money goes to my attorney.
11-11-07, 10:25 PM
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11-11-07, 10:28 PM
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11-11-07, 10:37 PM
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<sappy>
i say skip it. it seems you are already having your own reservations about her offer anyway.
instead, just give her a hug, give her a kiss, and tell her you love her. one day she will return the favor and that's one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive.
</sappy>
i say skip it. it seems you are already having your own reservations about her offer anyway.
instead, just give her a hug, give her a kiss, and tell her you love her. one day she will return the favor and that's one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive.
</sappy>
11-11-07, 10:50 PM
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Yeah.. we were married only 2.5 years ago and still have separate accounts. We consider all purchases "ours" but it still comes form one account or the other.
We are financially comforatble, meaning that our house & cars are paid for & the only debt we have are investments.
We are financially comforatble, meaning that our house & cars are paid for & the only debt we have are investments.
11-11-07, 10:50 PM
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11-11-07, 10:51 PM
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11-11-07, 10:53 PM
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<sappy>
i say skip it. it seems you are already having your own reservations about her offer anyway.
instead, just give her a hug, give her a kiss, and tell her you love her. one day she will return the favor and that's one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive.
</sappy>
i say skip it. it seems you are already having your own reservations about her offer anyway.
instead, just give her a hug, give her a kiss, and tell her you love her. one day she will return the favor and that's one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive.
</sappy>
11-11-07, 10:56 PM
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I have all the BF members to blame. All the bike bling pictures/stories I see here... its enough to drive a guy mad!
11-11-07, 11:05 PM
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I told my wife about your dilemma. She said turning down this gift could cause some unhappiness with your wife. She said something about feeling a form of rejection if you say no.
You have to see that she wants to spend her first pay check on someone she loves, you! So you will have to see it through her eyes and not yours. It's something no man will ever understand.
She really wants to say thank you in a way that she thinks will make you extremely happy. When you’re cruising down the road on your new Campy group set you’ll have a piece of her there with you. That gift is going to make you think of her whenever you're out riding.
You have to see that she wants to spend her first pay check on someone she loves, you! So you will have to see it through her eyes and not yours. It's something no man will ever understand.
She really wants to say thank you in a way that she thinks will make you extremely happy. When you’re cruising down the road on your new Campy group set you’ll have a piece of her there with you. That gift is going to make you think of her whenever you're out riding.
11-11-07, 11:11 PM
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I told my wife about your dilemma. She said turning down this gift could cause some unhappiness with your wife. She said something about feeling a form of rejection if you say no.
You have to see that she wants to spend her first pay check on someone she loves, you! So you will have to see it through her eyes and not yours. It's something no man will ever understand.
She really wants to say thank you in a way that she thinks will make you extremely happy. When you’re cruising down the road on your new Campy group set you’ll have a piece of her there with you. That gift is going to make you think of her whenever you're out riding.
You have to see that she wants to spend her first pay check on someone she loves, you! So you will have to see it through her eyes and not yours. It's something no man will ever understand.
She really wants to say thank you in a way that she thinks will make you extremely happy. When you’re cruising down the road on your new Campy group set you’ll have a piece of her there with you. That gift is going to make you think of her whenever you're out riding.
The opinions that 100 male BF grunts can't anticipate is the diabolical complexities of the female mind.
I think the analogy goes like this... 1 million monkeys on 1 million type writers.....
Tequila Joe don't know much about women... only know that they are soft and smell nice.
Thank you & please thank your wife for her insight. With this in mind I don't beleive I will feel as guilty on Christmas morning if I open up a Chorus group.
Last edited by Tequila Joe; 11-11-07 at 11:52 PM.
11-11-07, 11:18 PM
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OK. I gotta go for tonight, I'll be back tommorow ... my wife want to watch a "chic flick" on the satelite dish. Ironically, it's called "Knocked Up" 
This time, I won't complain about the movie selection.
This time, I won't complain about the movie selection.
11-11-07, 11:24 PM
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Let her buy it. Then, get her something really nice ofr Christmas to show her your gratitude. If she rides too, a new machine, or some gear would definitely be inorder.
I am married to a cyclist. We love buying each other gear. It's what we love, and we love each other. Good enough.
I am married to a cyclist. We love buying each other gear. It's what we love, and we love each other. Good enough.
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11-11-07, 11:26 PM
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She probably wants you to be happy, and she would like to do this for you. As was said, turning it down might hurt her feelings. Let her do it for you. I'm sure she would love to see you happy.