Farting in the Saddle
02-22-08, 10:22 AM
#27
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According to Erasmus (c.1530) a Dutch humanist and theologian:
- Retain the wind by compressing the belly, and
- Do not move back and forth on your chair (saddle?). Whoever does that give the impression of constantly breaking or trying to break wind.
So there you go.
- Retain the wind by compressing the belly, and
- Do not move back and forth on your chair (saddle?). Whoever does that give the impression of constantly breaking or trying to break wind.
So there you go.
02-22-08, 10:42 AM
#28
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02-22-08, 10:45 AM
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The answer to the original question is, do the same thing you do when you fart in a crowded elevator: look around with a disgusted look on your face, trying to figure out which of them is the rude b@$t@rd.
02-22-08, 10:49 AM
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the correct term is "crop dusting". A technique that can be used while riding or walking at a fast pace while innocently polluting those behind you. In fact, some ******* on my recent plane ride from Mexico was making some very toxic air for hours...even the flight attendants were annoyed...lol.
02-22-08, 11:28 AM
#32
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02-22-08, 11:29 AM
#33
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Originally Posted by xtabi
Wait until you need to go up a hill...then let your little turbo booster kick in. Helps me every time!
But you're right, it does work
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i jam my thumbs up and back into the tubes. this way i can point my fingers straight out in front to split the wind and attain an even more aero profile, and the usual fixed gear - zen - connectedness feeling through the drivetrain is multiplied ten fold because my thumbs become one with the tubing.
https://flickr.com/groups/dawes_galaxy/
02-22-08, 11:30 AM
#34
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I don't know why I came back to this thread, but when I did it suddenly jogged my memory about a recent incident.
I was at a holiday play and suddenly there it was....that smell.
Oh God, someone dropped arse. Fine. Hold breath a bit and wait.
It was a real lingerer though.
Then I found out why.
Luckily intermission was upon us, and when the fat lady sitting next to me got up to walk in front of me as she exited her seat, yeah, it was clear why that smell was lingering.
She must have filled her Depends.
Funny thing was, she never came back for the second half of the play!
I was at a holiday play and suddenly there it was....that smell.
Oh God, someone dropped arse. Fine. Hold breath a bit and wait.
It was a real lingerer though.
Then I found out why.
Luckily intermission was upon us, and when the fat lady sitting next to me got up to walk in front of me as she exited her seat, yeah, it was clear why that smell was lingering.
She must have filled her Depends.
Funny thing was, she never came back for the second half of the play!
02-22-08, 11:42 AM
#35
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I don't know why I came back to this thread, but when I did it suddenly jogged my memory about a recent incident.
I was at a holiday play and suddenly there it was....that smell.
Oh God, someone dropped arse. Fine. Hold breath a bit and wait.
It was a real lingerer though.
Then I found out why.
Luckily intermission was upon us, and when the fat lady sitting next to me got up to walk in front of me as she exited her seat, yeah, it was clear why that smell was lingering.
She must have filled her Depends.
Funny thing was, she never came back for the second half of the play!
I was at a holiday play and suddenly there it was....that smell.
Oh God, someone dropped arse. Fine. Hold breath a bit and wait.
It was a real lingerer though.
Then I found out why.
Luckily intermission was upon us, and when the fat lady sitting next to me got up to walk in front of me as she exited her seat, yeah, it was clear why that smell was lingering.
She must have filled her Depends.
Funny thing was, she never came back for the second half of the play!
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72 Frejus (for sale), Holdsworth Record (for sale), special CNC & Gitane Interclub / 74 Italvega NR (for sale) / c80 French / 82 Raleigh Intl MkII f&f (for sale)/ 83 Trek 620 (for sale)/ 84 Bruce Gordon Chinook (for sale)/ 85 Ron Cooper / 87 Centurion IM MV (for sale) / 03 Casati Dardo / 08 BF IRO / 09 Dogma FPX / 09 Giant TCX0 / 10 Vassago Fisticuff
02-22-08, 12:43 PM
#36
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New question...
I have always wanted to ask but did not think appropriate...
But look at this thread...
Is anyone else unable to fart while in the saddle...
I can not...
I need to stand...
I have always wanted to ask but did not think appropriate...
But look at this thread...
Is anyone else unable to fart while in the saddle...
I can not...
I need to stand...
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02-22-08, 12:51 PM
#37
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02-22-08, 01:03 PM
#38
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02-22-08, 01:29 PM
#41
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In a pace line call out:
"Farting!"
Pure class.
"Farting!"
Pure class.
02-22-08, 02:39 PM
#42
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02-22-08, 02:39 PM
#43
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It really doesn’t matter since you’re going fast enough to dissipate any offensive odors but I’d recommend to raise slightly from the saddle as to become a bit more sensitive so you would minimize the chances of ending with a shart in yer shorts.
02-22-08, 02:56 PM
#45
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02-22-08, 03:01 PM
#46
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riding scents..
There's a guy in one of my groups that rides wearing cologne...Old Spice I believe..mixed with b/o, it's worse than a burrito fart..gags me to ride behind him.
02-22-08, 04:12 PM
#47
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What the....?
Out of desperation, I plunked down a 10-spot for a copy of Cycling Plus (a Brit mag) at the local Barnes & Noble. I'm reading the 'Q&A' section this morning, and I come across a question with the header 'Ride Like the Wind'. Not knowing what to expect, I am simply flabbergasted that some guy named 'Cefn Kendall' would seriously write to a magazine, publish his name and a letter wondering how to deal with a flatulence issue when riding.....and you know what?....they gave him a serious answer! And promised to do a feature on it in a future issue....I kid you not! Leave it to the Brits.
Imagine my surprise when Cefn shows-up here cleverly disguised as TriFatBoy with an equally toxic problem.
Oh...the editor attributes it to sucking too much air (producing farts or belches), riding with a bad posture, and too many beans....but you already knew that....
Out of desperation, I plunked down a 10-spot for a copy of Cycling Plus (a Brit mag) at the local Barnes & Noble. I'm reading the 'Q&A' section this morning, and I come across a question with the header 'Ride Like the Wind'. Not knowing what to expect, I am simply flabbergasted that some guy named 'Cefn Kendall' would seriously write to a magazine, publish his name and a letter wondering how to deal with a flatulence issue when riding.....and you know what?....they gave him a serious answer! And promised to do a feature on it in a future issue....I kid you not! Leave it to the Brits.
Imagine my surprise when Cefn shows-up here cleverly disguised as TriFatBoy with an equally toxic problem.
Oh...the editor attributes it to sucking too much air (producing farts or belches), riding with a bad posture, and too many beans....but you already knew that....
Last edited by gcthree; 02-22-08 at 04:25 PM.
02-23-08, 01:05 AM
#49
Senior Member
sounds like some of you guys are making your own chamois butt'r while your in the saddle. good luck with that. I heard you aren't supposed to get a brooks wet.
02-23-08, 01:25 AM
#50
Don't mince words
Jesus Mary and Joseph! Are you so addled by winter's ravages that you've reverted to variations on a f*rt theme? Oy!