ilovetheewind

Hi, Ny name is Fred and I am a Fred.

OK, so I'm 42 and just bought two Road bikes, One titanium with full Dura ace and Ksyrium SL's The other Carbon with Full Ultegra annd Mavic Elites... (Seven and Specialized) Both have been professionally fitted.

I own eight jerseys all purchased this summer, two bibs, and three pairs of shorts (Assos, Pearl Izumi, Performance etc..)

I went with Titanium, Black, and white clothing color scheme and ALL of my clothes match perfectly. THis include Helmet, Shades, socks and shoes. My tires even have a white sidewall to match my socks and when they get dirty they get a "grey/titanium color" that looks even better....I'm in pretty bad shape.(not fitness, my Fred condition that is) Dam I think I look cool, but we all know its a flipped universe here for us Freds. I even built my bike piece by piece with a color scheme in mind (note: I bought a stand and tools and assembled both bikes myself----subtract Fred points?)

Yep, I am the Fred from hell. (my name is not actually Fred but the rest of this story is true)

I have trained 4-5 times per week all through the summer and even purchased a Kurt Kinetic indoor trainer for The winter...I ride at least 60 miles on the weekend. (usually one 60 mile ride and one 20 on Sunday at recovery pace)

I've got $500-750 budget for winter clothes and then I think I'm done buying gear. (fun though)

I've lost 30 pounds and am making GREAT progress but I fear I am still a fred (although it really doesnt matter--I have a feeling ALL of use here have some Fred in us.)

Will I always be a Fred? When do you lose your Fred status? Is there a 12 step process? Can someone here really nail down the definition of Fred? I never heard it until this year. (and I've ridden a road bike well over 20 years)

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.....

I'll try to get my wife to take pitures of me on bike. I'm sure you'd all get a kick out of it...

ok_commuter

mzeffex 

I ride a carbon bike with shorts and a t-shirt, and biking shoes/pedals. I think that makes me more of a fred. I have a feeling I look like someone who has no idea what they're doing or anything about bikes. Little do they know.. they are right.

Caymem

Major congrats on the weight loss and adding quality years to your life, Fred.

chadteck

I'd say you fall into the poser category. I didn't hear anything about goofy accessories and I think style is the least of a typical Fred's concern.

Shimagnolo

I tried for a while to be a Fred, but it was just too much bother;
Having to choose the right bikes, the right clothes, go on Fred rides...
The heck with it.

DenisMenchov

Never Say Fred AKA Freds: A Scholarly Treatise

By Chris Kostman
Originally published in The BOB Gazette, Issue #8, September 1994 and ULTRA Cycling, Vol.5, No.1, March 1996 (I had written it for Bicycle Guide, but they refused to publish it!)
It has been to my disappointment that the sophomoric practice of name-calling, especially the use of the term "fred," continues unchecked within the world of cycling. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it is cycling's only generic derogatory appellation, akin to being called a "Barney" in skiing or surfing circles.
To some USCFers, those cyclists who don't race their category or higher are Freds. Likewise, bicycle tourists, commuters and recreational riders are necessarily Freds in the eyes of the egomaniacal Racerheads'of both the club and federation species. And, Fredliness can, of course, also be the result of clothing and equipment choice, like judging a book by its cover. Before we examine the psyche of the invidious purveyors of the term Fred, let's examine the word itself.
The etymology of Fred, both geographically and linguistically, is unclear. Fred Flintstone may be the original Fred, suggested by the use of the term Barney in other circles, mentioned above. The term seems to have originated in isolated locales, then spread geographically in pell-mell fashion throughout the cycling subculture. It may be the result of independent development, but it is not an example of the Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon, an urban myth perpetuated by psuedo-anthropologists in which specific knowledge is increasingly attained among a random portion of a cultural group to a point of critical mass (i.e. one hundred monkeys), whereupon this new-found knowledge is spontaneously, and mysteriously, transferred to the entire population (of monkeys, or, in our case, cycling snobs).
At any rate, any second-rate pyschology major can tell you that the malcontents of the bicycle world resort to denigration as a maladaptive coping mechanism for any number of common insecurities. Those secure in intellect, physicality and libido, however, see profit in harmonization rather than polarization.
So it goes without saying, that, for me, anyone who rides a bike is alright, plain and simple. However, that doesn't mean that I'm blind to behavior that is inappropriate (for ease of comprehension, Fred-like), dangerous and/or damaging to cycling's image in the public eye. Fredish behavior, then, obviously includes such commonplace practices as running stop signs and red lights, riding against traffic, expecting cars to get out of your way, blowing past hikers and horses on the trails, and tossing flatted innnertubes on the side of the road, as if the world is your personal garbage dump.
However, these are just the tip of the Fredish iceberg. Fredism also manifests itself in less publicly damaging ways:

1. Ceaselessly and vociferously itemizing the weight and cost of your newest titanium parts.
2. Ignoring other cyclists on the road, riding hi-lessly, wavelessly, and nodlessly by, like some smug, self-righteous snob.
3. Having a bike and gear worth ten times more than your activity level merits, such as riding at non-competitive events with disc wheels or tri-spokes.
4. Riding on aero bars while drafting someone.
5. Mouthing off about how dangerous aerobars are, while you're not even wearing a helmet.
6. Dropping newcomers to your weekly ride, then never waiting for them to catch up. Worse yet, intentionally ditching a guest at your ride and leaving them lost in the farmlands of Eastern Pennsylvania.
7. Wearing Oakleys around town, telling the uninitiated that you train with the national team, are a 'Neo-pro,' or plan to ride in the Tour next July.
8. And finally, spending your spare hours name-calling other cyclists.

In conclusion, to avoid true Fredism, our malcontented, maladjusted comrades of the cycling world who still continue to denigrate our sport by labelling others as "freds" need simply get on their bikes and ride. And for the sake of us all, they should keep their insecurities to themselves.

Nachoman

yeah right

JacoKierkegaard

That's not specifically Fred-ish, you're just too rich for your own good. Fortunately I would love to help you with that. The next thing you should buy is a Di2 group and a pair of Zipp 808 clinchers. I'll PM you my shipping address.

cshell

Same here.

Flatballer

I think you misunderstood "Fred".

You're simply a Poseur. Nothing wrong with that, much of the 41 is in the same boat.

Gerrylightning

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_(bicycling)

CCrew

You're not a true Fred. A true Fred wouldn't need a trainer for the winter. He'd still be riding.

MrClyde

So those are our choices, Fred or Poser? I guess I'm a little bit of both as well.

And so what if you are buying enough gear to enjoy your rides. Good for you. Cycling is not cheap, but it is cheaper than some habits I have had in the past.

umd

No

mmmdonuts

+1 for poseur. Freds don't train, they just ride.

Is there such thing as an OCP Fred?

khatfull

I guess I probably qualify as a Fred. 95% of the time I wear black bibs and hi-vis jerseys. No fancy kit. Isn't hi-vis the quintessential definition of a Fred? Of course, I do train too and have a trainer, maybe it all cancels out? Maybe at least lack of team kit keeps me out of the poseur group? I mean, why wear kit for a team you don't ride for?

khatfull

GREAT username and avatar!

mmmdonuts

Thanks!

probe1957

I don't think I'm a Fred. I probably am.

kaiserboy

My name is Matt and I am a poser. (feel like I am at my local AA meeting)

Pinyon

The definition for "Fred" is illusive. They use it to describe roadies with a serious low-tech and utilitarian approach to riding around here. The most extreme examples tend to ride road bikes in riding sandals, show up to group rides with a big trunk bag on their rear bike rack crammed full of repair gear, use double-sided spd pedals or toe-clips, no helmet or a old white foam-only model from the 1980s, baggy cotton t-shirt, and have a preference for bright headlights/taillights, and reflective tape and ankle/wrist bands. They tend to be able to keep up with everyone but the racers on a group ride, are full of advice for how to do things like recycle old inner tubes and chains to repair stuff around the house, and some don't like to bathe that often.

That is the most extreme version, though. Most Freds like me look like normal roadies from a distance. We wear padded cycling shorts, some non-team jersey, a helmet, and cycling shoes. When you get closer, though, you notice the larger-than-normal seat-bag stuffed with headlights/tailights and copious repair gear, all the reflective tape on the back of our helmets, multiple brackets to fit headlights and taillights onto the handlebars/seat-bag/helmet, the road-morph frame pump, either double-sided spd or speedplay pedals, and the light mountain bike shoes.

The guys that go all high-tech around here, and don't race are called posers. But...it is a slang term. No way to pin it all down, eh?

guadzilla

Wait a sec. What if the OP is actually fast? Then he's like... normal.

And are Fred and poseur mutually exclusive? It would seem so, but we need a BF Seal of Confirmation.

V.

surfengine

no, you're not a fred....everyone else is.

Kneez

Maybe I am a fred-enabler because I like these kinds of cyclists. I have a lot or respect for "low-tech and utilitarian approach" to problem solving.

I haven't figured out if I am fred yet. Is there some kind of test that I can take?