Psimet2001 

It sucks. I don't remember it fondly at all. Not even remotely. I managed to get a lot of riding in but it was not without the setting up the perpetual perception with my wife that the family is focused on me and that I somehow get "more than my fair share" of anything.

At some point she realized it was time to stop being bitter and that being a mother was the thing she loved the most and that time for her is as precious as most people's "hobby" time.

This 3months or 5months crap is crap. My son was a PITA for the better part of a year or 2. Luckily at some point he became like me and likes to stay up late and sleep late and would sleep for 24 hrs straight if you let him.

Also he started talking. That changed everything. Now he's the coolest guy I know.

I tried the trainer bit - put him in a bouncy set with a vibrating thing. He could sleep for about 20 minutes but that was 20 minutes of trainer time. I spent a ton of time indoors. For some reason your wife will not think of your riding as "cheating" on your father time if it is spent in the house with them. Out of sight and you have "shirked" your responsibilities.

I cut out the centuries and started racing again. Centuries took WAY too much time out of the day. Races were shorter and I could bring the family along. This ended up building a team based AROUND the family. I would ride with a trailer after he was over 1. You really don't want to get them on the road until then. Their heads/necks just aren't strong enough in most cases. With a trailer I was able to get out on MUPs but i still have issues with a trailer on the road. I did one supported ride with him in a trailer when he was like 1.5


Him at the rest stop on that ride


In the end yes - what you are experiencing is normal. It is also worth it for moments like these:

Blackdays

Uh, the problem here isn't that YOU haven't been training, the problem is that you haven't started to train the baby!

Get him on a bike ASAP!

Phantoj

I thought this was interesting:

If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we're addicted.

roadiejorge 

I'll be going through this once again but I'm better prepared than I was when my daughter was born (she's almost 5 now) because I didn't ride my bike for the first few months. My daughter wasn't overly fussy but the feeding times at night are a killer, and even though my wife breast fed her once you're woken up in the middle of the night the damage is done.

This time around I'll try to get in at least 1.5 hours daily which might be reasonable (at least in theory...) and once I go back to work I'll commute to work. The weekend rides will probably be the ones that suffer the most because plans on working weekends as she did when my daughter was younger, but I'll be happy just getting some kind of miles during the week until life resembles some form normalcy in oh about 2 years.

NickDavid

QFTT!

One smart dude right here.

jeffpoulin

I pretty much gave up cycling when our kids were born because I don't like to go for rides that last less than 2 hours (with 3-4 hours being average). I took up running instead, where I was happy to quit after a mere 45 minutes. Enough to get some exercise, without being out of the house too long.

wunderkind

Geez.... do you think training rides for competition is blissful?! Right, it was a cake walk for them pro-riders to get to the podium then.
I'm not saying raising a child is easy. It's not. But it is all about the attitude. If you have a -ve POV, you will enter into the situation in a negative manner. Try and look at the joy and fun of this lifetime experience.

noisebeam

take turns, get those 3hr rides in as they will vastly help keep you fresh while you are having less & more disrupted sleep. make sure you wife is getting that 3hr. self time as well on an equal basis.

Phantoj

They turn into randoneers?

urbanknight

Wow, so many replies, many of showing a light at the end of the tunnel. It sounds as if things will be a little easier around 3-12 months. He's 3.5 (justationally 2). He likes the swing, but only when he's not gassy. That's the main problem, and the bouncing is the only thing that gets those not-so-tiny farts out. I expected to ride LESS, but not ZERO. Maybe I can ride the trainer with him on one thigh (I'm only half joking here).


OK, I actually have most of that, except only 1 kid and I haven't broken anything. He was born via emergency c-section (preeclampsia). I feed the baby while she pumps. It's only fair.

I will say that the short moments where he is happy and smiling really big back at me are golden (even better than my best ride). Even though the 19 days in NICU had great medical care and gave me time to ride in between hospital visits, I'd rather bounce him until my leg falls off than let him spend another day there.

mustachiod

I have a motorcycle and a set of golf clubs collecting dust because of this. some things are more important.

Commuting to work is my escape. gotta get to work, right?

Trainer is good, you can hop off and be ready to rock, clean, feed or whatever needs to be done to give your wife a break. I've walked way too many miles on my treadmill with a baby in the Ergo carrier, good memories

I have a Burly trailer that the kids like to ride in for trips to the library, grocery store, etc. They want me to go fast and don't mind if we go the long way.

roadiejorge 

Another good way of getting time to ride is making time for your wife to do her things as well, that way there isn't a feeling of you being the only one having the freedom to not be in 24hr parental mode. When I did get back on the bike I would go for a ride and when I got back my wife would go take a yoga class while I watch the baby. This helped us through the exhaustion and consistent grumpiness that follows sleep deprivation.

Nachoman

As soon as my boy was about 4-6 months old, we started putting him in one of these.

Rocket-Sauce 

Hang in there. It definitely gets better. I am a newly at home dad with my 1 year old. My son was incredibly fussy for the first three months and is now one of the most mellow kids around. I am spending a lot more time on the trainer than I'd like during nap times. When it was a little warmer (and less dark), I'd get out on the road at 4:30am and nap when he does.

It is worth it.

rfmarotti

I have two daughters a 2yo and a 4mo and just want to +1 a lot of what has been said:

- it does get better, but it might be another year instead of a couple months

- keep harrasing your doctor till he figures out a way to deal with the gas (gripe water's a good suggestion)

- trade some alone time with your wife, you both definitely need it.

- resign yourself to biking at odd hours, i am a complete night owl but have gotten used to getting up at 5:30 AM because I know thats when I can get my rides in.

- always hesitant to give parenting advice like this since its a touchy subject for a lot of people, but in our experience scheduling has made life way more liveable than attachment style parenting, my wife swears by the book "baby wise" for how to setup the schedule.

-Psimet is right about finding ways to train w/o leaving the house - you still get the workout and your wife doesnt think you're shirking.

urbanknight

We got a Burley trailer at the shower, but I won't be using it until he's 1 year. I hope he likes it, as even that's not guaranteed.

fwiw, I currently wake up at 4:45am so I can take him to the grandparents' house 3 days a week, and great-grandma's house once a week while we work. Mom stays home with him 1 day a week and is frazzled by the time I get home. Our family network is a God-send. And yeah, riding the trainer when he sleeps is trading sleeping for riding.

Slowandsteady: a coworker with a 1 year-old came up and asked me if it was anything I expected. Despite the comments of "get your sleep in now" and "your life is about to change", and the religious reading of "What to Expect" books, nothing could have been said to prepare me for this. It's true that the only way to understand what it's like to be a parent, is to be one.

agoodale

You two sound like you are wound up way to tight and you're ready to explode. Your son can sense that. If you're uptight, he's uptight. Watch the Dog Whisperer to get a sense of how living creatures react to each others state of mind.

I'm not trying to degrade you & your wife. My wife and I were exactly the same way with our firstborn. It's part of the learning process of being a new parent. Take the advice given here of taking turns watching the baby so each of you can get some time alone. Call a Grandparent to babysit you two can get some alone time together. It's important! Once you both have more opportunity to relieve stress you'll be ready to tackle a fussy baby.

Good luck. It gets better. The rewards are better than anything you can imagine.

urbanknight

We actually did that, but with the schedule we came up with, we can only afford to give each other about 2-3 hours of "me time" per week (after taking out chores we have to do, business meetings, etc.). We'll revisit that when he gets a little less fussy.

ctcycler

My daughter is almost 8 weeks old, and I am now starting to get back on the trainer. I am lucky and the wife lets me ride, then again she doesn't make me change diapers in the middle of the night either. So far my trainer rides are only a half hour but am going to try and up that next week. Our daughter has been a pretty good kid so far, a little bit of gas/tummy problems, but she slept for 7 hours the other night and averages roughly 4 hours straight a night. I get home from work and take the baby for the rest of the night, except for the nights I ride, then i take her after I ride. This gives my wife a break from having her all day. I have to believe that there is a balance where you can ride and take care of the family, just finding that balance can be difficult. All things said I have lucked out so far, but then again it has only been 2 months so far......

P.S. try something called Gripe Water, supposed to help with stomach problems and hiccups.

mustachiod

we've found that scheduling was the absolute worst solution for our kids. have had better luck just feeding them when their hungry and letting them sleep when tired, all of us are less stressed and grumpy because of it. no clocks! life is simple, why complicate things?

but every kid is different, so do what works best for you

Flash

I did it by not training seriously until my youngest reached the age of 5 ;-)

Of course now we have to resolve the issue of whose training is more important, mine or my kids (two soccer/basketball players).

bigbenaugust 

After my two weeks of leave were up, I HAD to go back to riding-- it's how I get to the office. But I didn't touch the bike during those two weeks, nor during subsequent paternity leave time (two more weeks after the in-laws left, then 1day/wk until it ran out). That time was all about the boy (but I did get a lot of reading done while bottle-feeding). I didn't do a weekend ride again until he was three months or so (not that I do a heck of a lot of weekend riding). Now I just can't wait to get him out on the trailer (2.5 more months...).

Your baby sounds fussier than ours was, though. Have some patience and focus on giving the little guy a good start.

urbanknight

You're right, and I'm sure he can sense my frustration which is probably not good. That's why I like being able to hand him off to Mommy after a couple hours of desperation. Unfortunately, with the grandparents taking the kid most of the weekdays (and sometimes they look all too eager to hand him back after a particularly trying day), I couldn't ask them for more.

But again, I like hearing "it gets better" from most of you. Thanks.

mustachiod

if so, humans would cease to exist! hang in there

tbrown524

My 2nd child was born 5 weeks ago... 5am rides and an understanding wife helps.