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who here is proud to be a Fred???

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who here is proud to be a Fred???

Old 08-19-11, 08:43 AM
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who here is proud to be a Fred???

I am a Fred and proud of it!!!!! You know you are beyond being a Fred when,
#1. You do not have any real friends
#2. Your best friend is your bike
#3 You know you are better than everyone else
#4 You know for fact if someone doesn't have a bike as good as yours they are a Fred
#5 You would never ride with a pack on your back
#6 You never wave back to cyclists who wave at you
#7 You wouldn't be caught dead on your bike with out your full kit on
#8 You never bring more than two water bottles because that is just not cool
#9 You believe if someone is on anything but a road bike they are a Fred

Who else is proud to be a Fred???
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Old 08-19-11, 08:45 AM
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Old 08-19-11, 08:52 AM
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Let's see:

#1 got real friends - I'm in my late fifties and I have friends from as far back as the 4th grade that I still interact with regularly.
#2 No, his name is Tom and I've known him since I was a freshman in college. Oh, and my wife of 20 years but that's sorta different.
#3 I wish
#4 First I look at the legs
#5 Huh?
#6 I wave at anyone I notice out in the boonies. Whether they wave back or not doesn't mean **** to me. It ain't like a pissing contest it's a friendly acknowledgement.
#7 I ride in cotton T-shirts sometimes
#8 about the only time I wear a jersey is because I'm gonna carry extra water.
# Huh?

Guess not.

Last edited by ahsposo; 08-19-11 at 08:54 AM. Reason: Add comment.
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Old 08-19-11, 08:55 AM
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I hate to break it to the OP...but he ain't earned the title "Fred" yet...sorry pal, you're still either a wobbler or a poseur until you submit your application package and a check to me.
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Old 08-19-11, 08:55 AM
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Can't wait til grade school opens again. Soon . . . . soon . . . .

Last edited by Macster; 08-19-11 at 09:26 AM. Reason: clarity
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Old 08-19-11, 08:56 AM
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I'm guessing in order to be a fred, you have to be at least 35? Sadly, I got many years before I inevitably become one.

#5 I do ride with a camelbak hydration pack eventhough I'm sporting a road bike, and not ashamed of it.
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Old 08-19-11, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by alive2
I am a Fred and proud of it!!!!! You know you are beyond being a Fred when,
#1. You do not have any real friends
#2. Your best friend is your bike
#3 You know you are better than everyone else
#4 You know for fact if someone doesn't have a bike as good as yours they are a Fred
#5 You would never ride with a pack on your back
#6 You never wave back to cyclists who wave at you
#7 You wouldn't be caught dead on your bike with out your full kit on
#8 You never bring more than two water bottles because that is just not cool
#9 You believe if someone is on anything but a road bike they are a Fred

Who else is proud to be a Fred???
You're not a fred. You're a poseur
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Old 08-19-11, 09:01 AM
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Much FAIL on this one!
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Old 08-19-11, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by FactVord
I'm guessing in order to be a fred, you have to be at least 35?
#5 I do ride with a camelbak hydration pack eventhough I'm sporting a road bike, and not ashamed of it.
I'm not aware of an age threshold and I'd say a flagrant violation of:
Rule #32 / Humps are for camels: no hydration packs.

Hydration packs are never to be seen on a road rider’s body. No argument will be entered into on this. For MTB, they are cool.


Is very Fredly. Only violations of #5 and #10 are in direct contradiction of Fredlyness.
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Old 08-19-11, 09:12 AM
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1) A good chunk of my friends are other competitive cyclists, including my girlfriend.
2) My bike is a tool. It's a pretty, special and important tool, but it's still a tool.
3) Quite the contrary
4) No
5) Ever commute? I often ride into work with a matching team kit, road clipless, bald legs blah blah blah... but with a huge messenger bag
6) I always wave, unless it is unsafe to do so
7) I have generic mis-matching cycling clothing that I am never ashamed of wearing
8) Well two large sized water bottles can last me up to 4 hours in the absence of excessive heat and then more water is just a quick stop so I gotta agree with you on this one
9) No. If you want to be totally stereotypical, it's as follows:
other roades = racers or freds
anyone on a mtb not in lycra/shaved legs = stoner
anyone on a fixed gear not in lycra/shaved legs = hipster
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Old 08-19-11, 09:14 AM
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I am not proud or ashamed to be my self. I just am.
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Old 08-19-11, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by jsutkeepspining
You're not a fred. You're a poseur

+1 Most of that list doesn't apply to Freds
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Old 08-19-11, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by ahsposo
I'm not aware of an age threshold and I'd say a flagrant violation of:
Rule #32 / Humps are for camels: no hydration packs.

Hydration packs are never to be seen on a road rider’s body. No argument will be entered into on this. For MTB, they are cool.


Is very Fredly. Only violations of #5 and #10 are in direct contradiction of Fredlyness.
I refuse to drink hose water used to re-fill my water bottles. Too bad, I like my hydration pack.
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Old 08-19-11, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by ap1_alan
+1 Most of that list doesn't apply to Freds
Op needs to go back to Fred School.
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Old 08-19-11, 09:27 AM
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even I wouldn't wave at you....so no...you can't be a fred
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Old 08-19-11, 09:42 AM
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The first key is not caring what other people think. That being said, if you're proud to be a road cyclist, you are a complete imbecile, and you are in the right place.
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Old 08-19-11, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by 10 Wheels
Op needs to go back to Fred School.
I believe the op is stating that you have graduated from being a Fred to something else when you become these things. I disagree with the whole premise. Fredliness is the ultimate state of biking nirvana. You no longer care what others are doing you almost don't care what you are doing. Therefore you become a fred after years of training and hard work at racing, riding longer/faster, impressing your friends and their wives with your awesome power output and eventually get older, maybe wiser, get hair in places you shouldn't, start thinking that a beard would be cool because it will catch the powerbar crumbs. Then, you are on your way to being fredly.
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