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    The joke is on him, because that is not dandruff.

    The joke is on him, because that is not dandruff.
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    I used to be in the Klasse camp, until I...

    I used to be in the Klasse camp, until I discovered Meguiar's M21 synthetic sealant: http://www.meguiars.com/en/professional/products/m2116-synthetic-sealant-20-16oz/
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    Is drinking his own pee, the better to prepare...

    Is drinking his own pee, the better to prepare for any upcoming survival scenarios.
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    Is prone to losing his head when he is filmed.

    Is prone to losing his head when he is filmed.
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    Dreams of being digitized and sent over optical...

    Dreams of being digitized and sent over optical fiber. Until the last mile.
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    In honor of the upcoming Turkey Day, has released...

    In honor of the upcoming Turkey Day, has released the TransTender jacket to seal in the juices while roasting your turkey. The enclosed instructions carefully specify that the jacket is to be worn by...
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    After watching every episode multiple times for...

    After watching every episode multiple times for clues, and weeks of experimentation in the lab, is proud to announce that he has duplicated the recipe for Tubby Custard. It is Tinky Winky approved!
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    Is proud to have reached the status of...

    Is proud to have reached the status of 'silverback' in his mountain gorilla homeland.
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    After seeing the latest frontal pictures of Ms....

    After seeing the latest frontal pictures of Ms. Kardashian in Paper magazine, is concerned that below the equator may be cold without a sweater.
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    Wonders why his new book Science and Health with...

    Wonders why his new book Science and Health with Key to the Kardashians is not just flying off the shelves.
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    Is known for going 'Beep, Beep!' at the...

    Is known for going 'Beep, Beep!' at the penultimate moment, if you get my meaning and I know you do.
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    Is a close personal friend of Harlan Ellison.

    Is a close personal friend of Harlan Ellison.
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    Treats his glaucoma with designer grass.

    Treats his glaucoma with designer grass.
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    Thinks that Cookie Monster has something to do...

    Thinks that Cookie Monster has something to do with Internet privacy.
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    Left out the next verse Eficticus 2:14: But doing...

    Left out the next verse Eficticus 2:14: But doing that of YOUR Bro is righteous.
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    Uses gum boots as he walks in the rain.

    Uses gum boots as he walks in the rain.
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    Is able to eat only one potato chip.

    Is able to eat only one potato chip.
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    Is thinking that a home sweatshop using all 150...

    Is thinking that a home sweatshop using all 150 kids to make neoprene coffee cup cozies would be an excellent return on that sperm bank investment.
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    Wonders if he will ever get a casting call for...

    Wonders if he will ever get a casting call for 'The Walking Dead'.
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    Is sensitive about his green teeth. Was given...

    Is sensitive about his green teeth. Was given tetracycline as a child, when they did not know any better.
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    His horstenblipp gazordined and we blatzed and...

    His horstenblipp gazordined and we blatzed and blatzed.
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    I came home from the office, changed into a...

    I came home from the office, changed into a one-piece fleece jumpsuit with a skeleton on the front, and am eagerly awaiting the first kids. It is currently 53 degrees and raining, so I wonder how...
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    Prefers 'rustic hill-folk' to Okies.

    Prefers 'rustic hill-folk' to Okies.
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    Got some spinner rims for the Dodge Rampage, and...

    Got some spinner rims for the Dodge Rampage, and now thinks he deserves a better class of woman. One with at least half her teeth remaining.
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    Feels confused when he looks at wire hangers.

    Feels confused when he looks at wire hangers.
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