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    Says he hates lap dogs, yet owns three of each...

    Says he hates lap dogs, yet owns three of each breed, guess he knows what he licks, er likes...
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    Has been an inadvertent participant in the baby...

    Has been an inadvertent participant in the baby seal clubbing circuit, and says so to this day from his cell at Ice Station Zebra...
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    Brought up the rear of his wagon train...

    Brought up the rear of his wagon train...
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    Is perfectly fine that the Segue is only...

    Is perfectly fine that the Segue is only available with wheels...
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    All 16 of his best friends are himself, the...

    All 16 of his best friends are himself, the toughest part is high fiving them all...
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    Sorting out his kilt is a top priority "I know my...

    Sorting out his kilt is a top priority "I know my unit is here, somewhere..." he laughed
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    Never watches the clock, he loves his job at the...

    Never watches the clock, he loves his job at the seed storage plant so much, he actually donates his paycheck...
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    Is in litigation with THE ROCK, for stealing his...

    Is in litigation with THE ROCK, for stealing his nickname...
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    The spokes mouth for The Mighty Cocks hockey...

    The spokes mouth for The Mighty Cocks hockey team, coming soon...
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    as he tried desperately to put out the spark, his...

    as he tried desperately to put out the spark, his aunt millie wig caught fire, inadvertently igniting the gas tank of the submerged vehicular transport unit, causing enough thrust for a SWAT team to...
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    He's got 1000 signatures to ban killing fowl for...

    He's got 1000 signatures to ban killing fowl for holiday feasts...
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    Has never been pie-eyed when slinging his lies..

    Has never been pie-eyed when slinging his lies..
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    Almost swallowed a bigfoot while visiting a...

    Almost swallowed a bigfoot while visiting a porta-potty just off the trail...
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    Has dreadlocks on his palms...

    Has dreadlocks on his palms...
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    Choking the chicken is a near death experience to...

    Choking the chicken is a near death experience to him...
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    Is henpecked...

    Is henpecked...
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    Invented the Living Glove...

    Invented the Living Glove...
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    His girl is made of plastic, and he's never...

    His girl is made of plastic, and he's never disappointed about that...
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    Has never been told once to zip it...

    Has never been told once to zip it...
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    Calls his willie Wonker...

    Calls his willie Wonker...
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    Barry Obama is his favourite turkey...

    Barry Obama is his favourite turkey...
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    Applied for headmaster at the local school board...

    Applied for headmaster at the local school board meeting...
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    His high IQ makes the rest of us envious...

    His high IQ makes the rest of us envious...
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    Knows the true reason why he crosses the road...

    Knows the true reason why he crosses the road...
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    Was the first to lobby for the transgender jacket...

    Was the first to lobby for the transgender jacket for his capture...
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