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  1. Replies
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    Either cannot or will not answer the question as...

    Either cannot or will not answer the question as to why an opossum would wear a shirt but no pants.
  2. Replies
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    For a price, is willing to share the secret...

    For a price, is willing to share the secret Wal-Mart discount enjoyed by all residents of Fayetteville, Arkansas.
  3. Replies
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    His pleas to his wife to 'really Bronco my...

    His pleas to his wife to 'really Bronco my Panther' went sadly unheeded.
  4. Replies
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    240,378

    His heel of choice, the stiletto, has very little...

    His heel of choice, the stiletto, has very little room for instructions.
  5. Replies
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    What he calls 'frosted flakes' other people call...

    What he calls 'frosted flakes' other people call 'dandruff'.
  6. Replies
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    Prefers mint-flavored Brylcreem.

    Prefers mint-flavored Brylcreem.
  7. Replies
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    To his chagrin, his unregistered drone, recently...

    To his chagrin, his unregistered drone, recently escaped from the Borg Collective, looks nothing like Seven of Nine.
  8. Replies
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    240,378

    Eats the chicken transplants 'that didn't make...

    Eats the chicken transplants 'that didn't make it'.
  9. Replies
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    240,378

    Is not the brightest bulb in the Easy Bake Oven...

    Is not the brightest bulb in the Easy Bake Oven (tm)
  10. Replies
    5,794
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    240,378

    Is Gitarzan's little b*tch.

    Is Gitarzan's little b*tch.
  11. Replies
    5,794
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    240,378

    Spends hours in front of the mirror probing his...

    Spends hours in front of the mirror probing his own periodontal pockets.
  12. Replies
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    240,378

    Gazing at that long, thick bronze cob, glistening...

    Gazing at that long, thick bronze cob, glistening with butter, gave him thoughts that he knew were improper, yet secretly delighted him nonetheless.
  13. Replies
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    240,378

    One of the very few able to grok 'Stranger in a...

    One of the very few able to grok 'Stranger in a Strange Land'.
  14. Replies
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    Fails to realize that I actually have a graduate...

    Fails to realize that I actually have a graduate degree in analytical chemistry.
  15. Replies
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    Is offering a sale on lies. Or is he?

    Is offering a sale on lies. Or is he?
  16. Replies
    5,794
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    240,378

    Is making a festive plum pudding for the domestic...

    Is making a festive plum pudding for the domestic staff in honor of Boxing Day.
  17. Replies
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    Has had his right arm plated red, just like C-3PO.

    Has had his right arm plated red, just like C-3PO.
  18. Replies
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    Really wants a ThighMaster for Christmas this...

    Really wants a ThighMaster for Christmas this year.
  19. Replies
    5,794
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    Wonders if he is too old for nursing school.

    Wonders if he is too old for nursing school.
  20. Replies
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    Often begs his wife for a bit of the 'up the...

    Often begs his wife for a bit of the 'up the wazoo', if you get my meaning and I know you do.
  21. Replies
    5,794
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    240,378

    Is unclear on the difference between...

    Is unclear on the difference between procrastination and mastur*ation, but keeps putting off the research.
  22. Replies
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    Has a RealDoll (TM) configured as Nancy Sinatra.

    Has a RealDoll (TM) configured as Nancy Sinatra.
  23. Replies
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    His wife blames dysphagia for her inability to...

    His wife blames dysphagia for her inability to swallow.
  24. Replies
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    Spends a lot of time thinking about the issues of...

    Spends a lot of time thinking about the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner. Thinks there might be a magazine in it.
  25. Replies
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    Simply cannot find a hooker who will accept...

    Simply cannot find a hooker who will accept Bitcoin.
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